Thursday, December 14, 2006

My dearest God,

I have two wonderful family members, a brother and sister, but they didn't come to me by blood. They merged with me 20 years ago through a covenant relationship. Bill has been my brother all these years. Cindy joined more than two years ago. She followed Nancy, Jan, and Susan who all moved out of the city, Jan to Illinois, Susan to northern Indiana. These women and our lone man are very precious to me.

We were in seminary together, Nancy, Bill and I. It was Nancy who suggested that we form a group, meeting at the Carmelite Monastery. I loved the idea. So did Bill. We asked the Carmelite Sisters and the community approved our weekly visits both as a covenant group and for mass.

At first we talked together, about ministry, family, church, leadership and the like. But Bill and I grew weary of the superficial relationship with God and each other. We discussed a deeper walk with God. Nancy was not comfortable with the idea so she left our group. Bill and I were sad; but we have not looked back except to say thanks to Nancy for the creation of our group.

We dig deep every Wednesday. We search for spiritual treasure. Like archaeologists who painstakingly brush away debris to find the "jewel" we ask questions, queries that lead us deeper into the soil of the spirit. We spend time in silence, complete silence. We devote, pray and listen to God. "Dig over here, stop there for a moment, reflect, contemplate. Go ahead. Be careful now! Trust me, I'll show you the way." God's voice is heard above all the rest.

If we possessed a chest in which to place all our treasure, we would have to purchase many chests. One would never be enough to hold all our discoveries. Our findings sound like the discovery of King Tut and his vast riches.

Sacred sites look normal to those on the outside. Drive by and it looks like all the rest. But go inside and you find something very different. It's not the same at all. You wander around and happen upon turns and twists, pathways leading to incredible views. Gems of all sizes and shapes are to be found along the way. Grottos, places where you stay for a while, lend themselves to unbelievable experiences. And the dark places are where you detect the greatest light.

This journey is unknown, unfamiliar because each week is different, yet the same. We never know what we will hit upon. We don't know the questions until they come to us as we meet, wait, listen, speak. We are not sure how God will meet us or whether the encounter will be joyous or challenging. We do know that God will join us, perhaps already in the room as we enter the holy space. "Good morning," God may greet us, "have I got a plan for you today!"

There has never been a period in my life when I have walked a truer path of faith. Don't get me wrong. I am no saint. But I do seek a saint's life, one who reveres God and desires a close, intimate relationship where the secrets of the universe are disclosed, where pain and suffering is transformed. Purposes are formed and lead to fulfillment. Joy resides here, like nothing else. Like pools of clear spring water, where rainwater falls down the spiritual mountain in majestic streams, only aaah's and oooh's cling to the earth. The essence of real life is exposed and the wonders of God revealed.

That's why I keep going back. One day I am in the pool. The next day I am falling down the side of the mountain waiting to splash. Some days I am the warmth of the day and others a rain cloud. I've been known to be thunder a time or two, okay more than that. I am constantly being shaped by God, just...what...I...desire.

Wednesday, a holy day on the mountain.

To you,
Most Gracious God,
I find my true self.
The cloaks that hide me
are removed.
I bathe
by the pool
of living water.
I am refreshed.
My thirst is quenched.
My spirit renewed.
The ordinary
becomes extraordinary
as God's hand touches it.
My eyes enlarge,
my mouth drops open,
my heart skips a beat,
my breathing slows;
I am in
the amazing presence
of God.

Always and forever yours, Andrea