Saturday, May 5, 2007

Dear God,

Three little girls, 7, 6, and soon to be 3 and I held our own party. We went to the park, Dairy Queen, to the church for a music rehearsal, to Mediterranean Pizza and back home. Dropped into bed at 10:20 p.m. after watching Hanna-Barbera Friends Sing-A-Long. In the morning we were back at it playing Old Maid (I lost, am sure it was a conspiracy), riding around the yard in the wagon behind the mower and swimming in the jacuzzi (no room for grandma). Before their moms picked them up at 6:00 p.m. we turned up the tunes of Teen Idols and we danced up a storm. I pretended to play the guitar and they danced around me. Making memories is exhausting but so much fun. We laugh, giggle, tease and pretend.

Being a grandparent is such a privilege. Perhaps I am making up for being a single mom putting herself through college and seminary, living on the poverty line, working a job and spending very little time with my children. Those were tough days. I regret the time I lost with my girls.

I look into the faces of these precious grandchildren and I wonder what is ahead in life for them. Disappointments and hurts to be sure. When I had to break the news that all my fish had died during the blizzard, they looked at me in bewilderment. Twenty one fish, each with the name of my 21 grandchildren, couldn't breathe when the snow piled up. My granddaughters were shocked to think I couldn't have saved them. Lesson No 1 as a grandparent: No savior here, just a grandma.

Life is changing for the girls. When they used to climb into the jacuzzi for a swim, the big tub was a great play space. But Sophie said as she jumped into the pink swirl, Grandma, the tub is too little. Insight. You're right sweetie.

I look at my life in relationship to these grandchildren and I want to guide their little lives along side their parents. I want to make a difference for them, with them. I want to show them a deeper place to travel, spiritual pilgrimages that will last a lifetime. I want to walk the route of faith with them, ask them questions rather than give them all the answers. They'll figure them out themselves. It will stick that way.

Great God in Heaven,
thank you
for the privilege
of grandparenthood.
For all my mistakes
with my own children,
help me make a mark
where it counts.

Love, Andrea