Sunday, June 10, 2007

Dear God,

Yesterday I began reading grant applications. A holy endeavor. But I sang first. "Have thine own way, Lord, have thine own way." Then I lifted up the name of the church and their pastor. "I pray for your will, dear God." Each time I picked up a new file to read, I went through the same exercise.

Two years ago when I worked on my own application, I remember the hours, the work, the creative stretching, the weariness. An exhausting process. But a holy one to be sure. I prayed then too. No singing. In fact I couldn't sing, my thyroid had been removed and I wasn't able. I missed it terribly during that time.

Now as then I am trusting my work to God. I want to favor those deemed worthy to receive a grant. Every church needs one and so does every pastor. But only those destined by a thoughtful process of creative ideas will gain one. By grace I want to lean toward those.

I feel humbled to be selected to read. However, it is a lot of work too in my spare time. I don't have a lot of "spare" right now. But you have made space for me in my reading room where I have the advantage of looking over my contemplative garden, listening to the birds sing in the early morning hours, hearing the waterfall in my pond and sitting in the quiet space before the world wakes up. My favorite time of the day. Quiet spaces you have designed always move me into sacred places in my soul. Being attentive to the things of God always brings me tranquility, a sacred serenity stolen from the busy distractions of daily life.

I am privileged in my home. My screened in porch overlooks a rolling hill, tall, mature trees, and the carefully placed fences give me a feeling of seclusion. My flowers, bushes, trees, benches, statues as well as frequent butterflies, birds, and bunnies give me exactly what I desire, a natural movement to the holy.

During my vacation time away I have offered my home as a site of holy reflection. On fridays those who are lead will come, gather in my garden, sit beneath a tree, lay in the hammock, stretch out on a blanket, set down on my benches. They will seek God through silence, prayer, meditation and wandering. My prayer is that they will discover the sacred in my garden and grab hold of what it is they long for.

I am blessed to interact with you and still touch the world in magnificent ways. You are the source of all and I am privileged to know you.

Lord and Master
over all creation.
I sit with you
in great delight.
I know your presence,
and hover beneath your wing.
My spirit sings
and my soul sits in silence,
reveling in quiet moments.
I trust in these times
as I am one with you.
Guide me throughout my day
that I will sing your praise,
meditate in awe upon your presence
and give my love
to the world.

Love always, Andrea