Sunday, April 27, 2008

My dearest God,

In the mountain desert a few months ago I acquired several books regarding the monastic life. I began reading, "Finding Sanctuary." Sanctuary refers to the place in which you and I meet. This kind of sanctuary is not limited to the church sanctuary. It is anywhere you and I tarry for a while. Sanctuary is that holy space where the mysteries of God unfold.

The author talks about praying constantly, the aim being "keeping the memory of God alive in your heart at every moment of the day and night." This is my own goal, living with you every second of every day, being aware of your constant presence, living like you are with me wherever I am. My mindfulness of you challenges me to a level of living that causes me to consider my words, my thoughts and attitudes. Are my words holy? Do they give the air of holiness? Are my words impeccable, a gift to God and to the universe? Or are my words something else?

If I am to consider being present to you every second of every day, then my life will naturally chart a new course. My words will be pure and holy. I will be intentional to be in the state of prayer. I will carry within me the attitudes of God, the mind of Christ, the love of the Spirit. I will walk the path of the sacred every day. I will not fear.

This is not the state of perfection. I cannot attain perfection; however, I can honestly, openly and intentionally seek to be in a condition of relationship every moment, a holy relationship with the One who gives my life meaning, purpose, challenge, hope, faith, joy, peace, comfort, mercy and grace. In my relationship with you, I experience all these many times every day. This one relationship gives more meaning to my life than any other relationship in which I am a part. This is not to say I do not find much meaning in my relationships with my spouse, children, grandchildren, other members of my family, the church and special friends. I just experience more with you. My relationship with you inspires me to dig deeper trenches of faith that will touch every other relationship I share.

Keeping your memory alive buoys me. It challenges me. It gives me joy and peace and hope. Walking with your memory in every part of my life, yes every part, gives me the feel of a life of joy and hope. It deepens my daily experience of life. What it means to be human becomes more of how the human can become more and more like the One we are to imitate.

I do not hold visions of grandeur. I am not looking for that, however, at times when I touch the holy, I feel the grandeur of God. And I always know where it comes from. I cannot manufacture such a thing. I do not own that kind of power. It is God, you who holds the universe in place, you who breathes holy air upon the human experience, you who creates inner joy and peace, you who gives guidance, you who gives love its deepest meaning. It is you.

As I continue my reading, my greatest hope is that I will be drawn more and more to your well of living water where I will constantly and faithfully replenish my supply. And in quenching my thirst, my prayers will become more authentic, timely, beautiful, and full of love for you and my neighbor.

Great Holy Parent,
I enter
your life
purposefully,
intentionally.
I am aware
of the majesty
of your existence.
I am conscious
of your presence.
This awareness,
this consciousness
keeps me
in my place.
Here
I do not play God.
Here
I acknowledge
that I am not God.
I am, however,
your playmate,
a friend
and sojourner
who always seeks
your relationship.
May my experience
of sanctuary
be a blessing
to you.

Love, Andrea