Saturday, June 7, 2008

My dearest God,

The aftermath of a great worship service continues to speak to my soul. And I am grateful because I awakened this morning to yet another wicked storm, the lightning striking from sky to earth, the thunder rolling for several seconds.

During our time at conference we have suffered a flash flood, a fire alarm ushering people out of the building, an earthquake at 3:00 in the morning and tornado warnings last night, lots of rain and two hot, muggy days. We'll always remember this conference, not because of all the weather-related incidents but because I think we have indeed experienced a spiritual earthquake.

We have changed as a conference. We are changing into one conference. We will learn the outcome of our vote this morning. But we've already changed. We are a changed people. All during conference I have been very interested in all that is happening. That has not always been so. Who gets excited about committee reports?

But there's something different this time. We are a different people. Our bishop has been about transforming us. He had his work cut out for him. We are not an easy people. Yet, he has lead us by your spirit to a new place in our corporate life together.

Change, it's all about change. Everything's changing, our world, our economy, our church, our lives. As I looked at the stage yesterday where the retirees and their spouses sat, I realized that I will be next. I will join my sisters and brothers in a new commitment next year. Tears formed in my eyes. But it's okay; I know it is what you want from me. Just as I said yes at the age of 27 to follow you into ministry (took seven years to begin the process) it is time to say yes at the age of 62.

Trusting you in the middle of change is a real gift. Stepping into line behind you, I realize how simple life can be when I simply follow and stop trying to take the lead. I haven't always known where I was headed. I just walked forward. Sometimes I hestitated, many times I stopped. But you prodded me to get moving again and I have to say the favorite times in my life have been when I kicked it in gear and starting moving again, following right behind you.

I have always known that I can't see around the corners in life situations. It's impossible and it is good because if I could see everything clearly with my own eyes, why would I trust? Why would I feel the need?

How well I remember walking the Wadi Kelt between Jerusalem and Jericho. A very narrow dirt path with no rail high up in the hills of Israel, I remember all the turns and twists. I recall one especially where it looks like the path leads to the edge where you simply fall off. It is a very tight turn.

On occasion I think of that spot in the path. And I think that faith rests on that ledge. I believe that every situation, condition, happening, experience can lead to the precipice but that we meet faith first. We can stumble over it, attempt to go around it (although it just means you fall off the edge somewhere else) stop and refuse to go further, or we simply pick it up, welcoming it like an old friend who has been waiting to see us for a very long time. A reunion always takes place.
And when faith is in hand, we turn the corner carefully trusting that faith is enough because faith is always linked eternally with you, Great God.

The uncertainty of the weather and the world's life coupled with the changes taking place in our conference, in my church and in my own life reminds me that I too stand close to the edge. Today I have been lead back to that spot where faith rests. I will pick it up and take the turn.

Most Loving God,
who would want
to go the distance
without you?
Who would want
to take the sharp, tight turns
on their own?
Who would not want
a friend,
a companion
on the path
with whom
to travel?
You make life
real
and spectacular.
You make life
a wondrous journey
where learning
takes place,
where the call
for adventure
is always present,
where your presence
always awaits us.
I know
the turns and twists
will always be present
and they will always
have a modicum
of fear attached
to them.
But that's
the beauty
of it all.
Fear
always leads us
directly to you.
Whether wicked storms
or life experiences
reincarnate fear
within us,
you are present
to guide,
to lift us up,
and even keep us safe
in some dimension.
Falling off the edge
can happen
but in the process
of falling
you fall with us
and we always
rest with you.
Thanks
for letting me ramble.

I love you, Andrea