Sunday, January 31, 2010

My dearest God,

You are the great revealer, bringing to our minds the power to change, to transform. O God, do you remember how I loved diagraming sentences in high school, separating out the nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs? I always enjoyed that simple but complex at times exercise.

This morning while I lay praying before dawn you took me back to school. I stood beside myself as a teen seated at my desk. I watched myself move my paper around as I dissected a sentence identifying all its parts.

From there you led me to a scene from Extreme Makeover. In Buffalo they deconstructed a rundown century-old home. They literally took the house apart saving each piece to be used to help fix up other old homes. Then they constructed a new home over the old foundation.

What you made transparent to me this morning was the deconstruction of a story, my own and how it is you have helped me transform my story. You pointed me to a story in my life. Already written with all its parts, I was able to see how I interpreted that story to myself. Then you helped me take the story apart, laying aside each part, each piece. Next you spoke another piece of the story from a differing perspective. You showed me how I could add that to my story. In other words you assisted me in reconstructing my story. It changed it. It looked different. At that point you did something more. You spoke a word of power, a divine word, your word; you added your power to my story, changing the story one more time. Only this time, what a story it was, a true story of transformation.

Today I learned how a story could be changed, bringing healing and hope to the storyteller. I watched with great interest as you rearranged all the pieces in such a way as to tell the new story, a story of redemption.

Almighty God,
is there anything
about which
you do
not care?
You take
the hurting things
in our lives
and you
remake them,
weaving into them
bits and pieces
of hope,
love and goodness.
Better than new,
you disclose
your loving power
to save,
to redeem,
to make new.
What do
I say
to all
of that?
What can
I say?
Words are inadequate
to express
my heartfelt praise.
This morning
I am loving you
for your
extraordinary grace.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Dearest God,

There have been moments in time when you have allowed me to roam the halls of heaven and I have discovered love waiting every time. The halls were wide and high, leaving the sense that they weren’t halls at all but pathways that always lead to you. Aglow with heaven’s light I soaked in faith, knowing I was always being prepared to return to earth’s home where I would once again live life’s challenges. This morning before day’s dawn I wandered again. The music that led me there seemed ethereal; a calming sound where I swear angels hovered.

O God, does everyone visit, come and go? Do we each take our turn? How is it, God of Creation, that we suddenly find ourselves beyond ourselves in your sacred realm, our whole being filled with light, peaked in hope and joy and love…and peace?

Your hallowed design reveals a holy order, everything’s place, everyone’s. Words defy me to describe the feeling. No clamoring to take someone else’s place, just…sheer contentment.

Even as I write this morning, I think of how exquisite it would be for all earth’s people to visit at one time. O my Lord, what would it be like to have all the extraneous negative thoughts, attitudes and beliefs simply fall away realizing that we are each one heaven’s being and as such we live in harmony, appreciating and respecting heaven’s hope in one another? No conflict or fighting, no need. We would know we are your creatures. We would fall into heaven’s calming peace with no agenda but yours. Like angels, we would quietly and reverently praise you.

What if we took our journeys together, learning, taking in infinite truths that set all people free? What if we put aside our own demands and simply took our lead from you? What if we willingly held one another up without regard for earthly status? What if, dear God?

What if we all realized how possible heaven is on earth? Bathed in divine light, infused with heaven’s joy we would see each other in another way. We would recognize the most and the best in one another. Our love, that psychological and emotional force within us would grow as we offered the most and the best of ourselves.

What more could we possibly want? Who would want to trade one iota of heaven for the most valuable possession on earth? What could possibly compare?

What joy
I feel
as I
wander with you.
Glimpsing the possible
in the
impossible always
gives me hope.
You are God;
there is
no other.
May I
openly and honestly
give all
of me
to all
of you,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Friday, January 29, 2010

Dearest God,

I sat by the hospital bed holding her little four-year-old hand. Lucy was back in the hospital severely dehydrated from the flu. The third time this year, her little body just doesn't seem to be able to get over it by herself.

What I know is that in a few days she will be back to her old self filled with energy and zest for life. She will run and play, on occasion stealing her brother's toy. She will fill us with laughter, hug us and remind us that she loves us.

Such moments, O Lord, remind me how you care for every detail of our lives. Your concern for little Lucy is as great as starving children in Haiti. The difference is that Lucy will recover because she has a warm home filled with food, a comfortable bed, clean water, antibiotics, and parents and siblings who love her and will provide for her needs.

As I reflect upon all the suffering in Haiti, how I wish every child, teen and adult could have the same advantages as my grandchild. How I wish all people were safe and secure, loved and cared for. How I wish, dear God.

Hold us all
in your care,
Gracious God.
Remind us
who have
to give
to those who
have not.
Teach us
the ways
of community,
loving and caring
for one another.
Lead us
to compassion,
grace and mercy
as we
are lead
to one another,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, January 28, 2010

My dear God,

As I consider the ways of life, I want to live in the light, not hide from it. I want to love the way you love, not love conditionally. I want to live in your hope, not be hopeless. I want to see the way you see, not be blind. I want to live in truth, not in falsehood.

Today in covenant group I shared my reflections on Exodus 3:1-6 from The Message. Eugene Peterson entitled the reading "Learning to Pay Attention". It was the story of the burning bush, remember? What if Moses failed to notice the bush? How might history have been changed if he had not encountered it? How many had he already passed by?

Such stories motivate me to wonder about myself. How many bushes have I missed or for that matter deliberately walked past? How might my life or the lives around me have been changed if I had slowly moved to the bush inquiring?

I want to intentionally pay attention to all that is around me. If a bush begins to burn, I want to move quickly, to listen for your voice. If nature calls out to me, I want to wait for its unfolding. If a cloud descends, I want to remain still and watchful. I want to witness the things of heaven, hear your voice divine.

O Most Loving God,
reconstruct me,
making me open
to your presence.
Lead me
to burning bushes
and descending clouds.
Guide me
to you,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Dearest God,

In the very early morning I stood at the bedroom window looking out. Captured by the long, dark shadows on the glistening white snow, in nearby homes I saw a light here and there, people perhaps drinking coffee in the kitchen or getting ready for work in their bedrooms or reading the paper in the living room. I stood quiet and still etching on my mind the beautiful, serene picture before me. I let the gift of your new day bless my soul.

Loving God, there are those moments when my mind is illuminated, my heart is warmed and my spirit is enriched by the sights and sounds around me. In some tiny way, I feel like I am gazing upon a mural of heaven's home. I let my whole being take it in, sometimes letting tears of joy flow. Humbled by the gift, I whisper to you my thankfulness.

Thank you,
Gracious God,
for your
infinite number
of gifts
to the world,
to me.
Thank you
for this morning's gift.
Thank you
for eyes
able to
see you,
for ears
able to hear.
Thank you
for a heart
ready to respond.
Thank you
for love
spilled out
once again.

Love always, Andrea

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

My dearest God,

You opened the doors again revealing new truths, knowledge from on high. You shined your glorious light making clear what was once unclear, foggy and murky. You showed me heaven's story.

I got stuck on the story, my side of the story. I thought that's all there was. I really did. I wasn't trying to fool myself; I truly believed that was all there was, nothing more to see. But your divine radiance showed more, the rest of the story. And then there it was, the whole story. I was stunned, somewhat ashamed, sad and yet happy. My overriding prayer for a very long time has been for clarity, truth, wisdom and knowledge. In your divine hands you have brought me what I longed for.

To have a genuine life of faith you have made transparent the need to see my story in light of your story. My story must always be seen through the lens of heaven's story. And your story always includes a lavish loving grace, a desire for the truth, hope, goodness, and beauty. Coming to that awareness I revisited my story and found your light waiting for me. The shining glow opened me to pieces of the story I had missed. I simply could not see them.

Suddenly I was made aware of so much that I had not seen. With a fragile, wounded soul I guess I wasn't able. I drew conclusions, judgements based on only my side of the story, on my truth, my facts. But when clarity came as gift your light shone across the wide expanse of my mind, entering my soul, lighting my darkness. Like a gentle, tender grandmother rocking her first baby grandchild, you whispered your sacred story to me. Through my tears of joy, I realized there was more to tell.

Glorious and Loving God,
with your
benevolent, solicitous hands,
you replenish
weary souls
in search
of the truth.
You bestow
upon us
the joys
of heaven.
Even hurtful truths
of the past
undergo a metamorphosis
because you
have touched them.
On your way
to greet
hurting others,
you stop
by the
human heart
touching it
with the
warmth of summer.
What can
I say,
my God,
what can
I say
in thanksgiving?

Love, Andrea

Monday, January 25, 2010

My dearest God,

How often I have been reminded that you rule this world. Your design for creation means that I have a place and a purpose like all others. And one more thing: I am reliant on you.

I felt weak, disoriented, tingly and without energy this morning. I knew something was wrong. My daughter took me to the doctor who got me right in. They literally ran 29 different tests. I stayed in bed all day, too weak to do anything else.

I realize how fragile life really is. I know that things can change in an instant, just like the earthquake proved. I know that being reliant on you is an act of faith on my part. I am certain that living out my relationship to you is the most important thing in the world. I do not waste my time whining "why me" as if I stand out above all the rest, exempt from pain and suffering. I know that each day is a gift to be well lived.

I am grateful
to you,
Most High God.
I believe
in you,
trust your care
for me
and your world.
Make me
an instrument
of gratitude
that continually
sings out
your praise.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Dearest God,

I preached for the first time today since my retirement. I was a backup for a pastor in the Holy Land and a substitute for a preacher called up by the Red Cross. I preached on being your friend.

I preached with more energy than the last couple of years. With a sad heart, a broken spirit and declining health, it was all I could do to stand up and preach your word. Yet, each Sunday you were my strength, my rock and faith. You lifted me from my seat, held me up and imbued me with your spirit. Often as I drove home, I wept with gratitude.

But today I found my own energy. I held on to your spirit knowing you were the life force behind the energy. I saw evidence of my own healing. I experienced your love once again. I was blessed by heaven one more time.

Gracious God,
your love extends
beyond all
my imagination.
I am
so small
and you
are so great.
You are
the power
of the universe,
of all creation.
You are
love itself.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, January 23, 2010

My dearest God,

Good Lord, the stories still come of miracles in Haiti. People still being rescued. Other stories are being told of mass graves, unknown people shoved into a hole. How do we make sense of it all? How does one receive a miracle and another appears forgotten?

I pray daily for the people of Haiti and I wonder what my prayers actually do. Do they make me more aware of my human family? Do they keep my heart soft and compassionate? Do they successfully keep me connected to you? Or do they do more? Do they stir others to compassion? Do they motivate others to help? Do they actually reach the people for whom I pray?

What does prayer do, dear God? I remember my experience of prayer four months ago. In the darkness I saw thousands of points of light coming together. Intuitively I knew they were prayers prayed for me and my family. I saw the collision course, the explosion of light, the transformation of the darkness into radiant light. I saw the answers to my prayers for clarity. Vivid clarity.

I pray for your Haitian children, each one loved the same with a great father's love. I do not know how one receives an answer and another does not or at least in the same kind of way. I do know that your love surrounds each one. I do know that you have the same compassion for one as you do the other. I do know that your desire is the same for each one: to help, to guide, to lead toward healing and wholeness in whatever way it manifests itself. I do know we are your hands and heart, your voicepiece and feet. We are your flesh in the world doing your work.

Guide us,
each one,
to be
your holy presence,
loving and
helping your children.
Teach us
true compassion
and mercy
so that
we too
may offer
the sweet ointment
of healing.
Make us
your own
so others
may see you
in us.
Teach us
the way
of hope,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Friday, January 22, 2010

My dearest God,

My how the truth is freeing! Your own son spoke about truth: "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." I know that freedom, that liberation from the power of sin or secret or lies. A light, airy feeling comes when the truth is spoken in the presence of grace.

I have felt the power of truth many times. When I am open to the light that brings truth, I generally weep because I see your grace in the truthtelling. I witness your love and compassionate mercy. I know you are present loving me and others around me.

When I stand with someone telling their own truth, I observe the power of their truth. I watch the weight lift from their back. I see a clarity in their eyes. I watch the tears cleanse the soul. I am profoundly moved by the power of your spirit to renew and restore. Recently I sat in grace with another who finally shared their own truth. Amazing grace!

Loving God,
thank you
for your grace
that is
available 24/7.
Thank you
for love
that makes
it possible
to be restored
and renewed.
Thank you
for compassion
that sees
your children
in their
weary estate.
Thank you,
O Lord,
thank you.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Dear God,

You have taught me that a steady commitment to faith always leads to confession. I recently received a call from a friend who wants/needs to make a confession.

When I am growing in my faith, I am led to confess my mistakes, my misguided notions and imperceptions. I allow the bubbling sin to rise from its solitary confinement to the light of day. The truth is revealed in all its glory.

It is at that moment that you guide me to say the truth about myself. You lead me to tell the story so that you can do your work of healing, hope and wholeness. In that truth-telling moment you offer liberation, a kind of freedom from the infection that has plagued me for so long. You see me free for life.

Redeeming God,
who else
can forgive,
redeem and save?
Who else
can wipe
the slate clean?
Who else
can clean
my insides
from accumulated dirt
and debris?
Who else
can leave behind
a bright
and radiant glow?
Only you,
Lord,
only you.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

My dearest God,

I opened the email containing the pictures of my family taken on Christmas day. As I downloaded them and took my first look, tears welled in my eyes. My heart was filled with gratitude.

One daughter saved from an addiction, another daughter healed of ovarian cancer, another daughter reunited after 13 years, a granddaughter spared after a broken neck, a 2-year-old grandson born prematurely near death progressing well, another granddaughter well after bouts in hospital with histoplasmosis, a granddaughter born on 9/11, a grandson who remembered the cross six years later when told to remember it when he was three years old and me, an 11-year survivor of breast cancer. Miracles, all miracles.

How can
I bring
honor and glory
to your name,
O Lord?
How can
I offer
my praise
and prayers
of thanksgiving?
How can
I live gratefully
each day
just remembering
your mercy
and great love?
Your compassion
extends to
the end
of time.
Holy and Loving God,
my heart
is yours.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dear God,

I continue to hear stories of miracles and of heartbreak. One person celebrates, falls on their knees in praise and one agonizes, falls on their knees in prayer. Both find you.

O God, as I watch the news account of people found alive in the earthquake and those who sit by collapsed buildings just feet from dead relatives, I pray and weep at the same time. One person's joy, I pray, gives hope to another's sorrow. I see the faces of those helping, rescue workers, doctors, nurses, ministers, even survivors who carry the injured to makeshift hospitals and I think how much we need one another. One person's need inspires another to help. We are made by you to reach out to those around us. What a beautiful picture of compassionate mercy.

Our lives
are wed
to one another;
this is
your grand design.
The impulse
to help
comes from you,
Sacred Designer,
Master Creator,
Compassionate God;
our prayers
offered on
behalf of others
is really
a love letter
to you.

Gratefully, Andrea

Monday, January 18, 2010

Dear God,

Today I listened to the sweet, gentle voice of faith. I saw your hands and feet at work. I sat among those who care for broken people.

There they were, a medical director of Riley Hospital, paramedics from Wishard, nurses and other non-medical volunteers helping to "break down" antibiotics, counting needles, and packing boxes leaving for Haiti in the morning. I watched them, asked questions and gave thanks.

In the last 48 hours I have had the privilege of walking among those at the heart of the relief effort. Whether with generous children, concerned citizens or medical personnel, I have become more aware of the generosity of people when they know there is a hurting population somewhere in the world.

I hear
the voice
of compassion,
dearest God.
Your mercy
is full
as people
come together
to help.
I prayed
for an opportunity
to help
and you
lead me
to your children.
I am blessed.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Dearest God,

She gave me $2. My eight-year-old granddaughter came into the kitchen and handed me $2, a gift for the suffering people of Haiti.

When I grabbed up all the Ibuprofen they had at the Dollar Store, a clerk started talking about the children in Haiti. When I told her about the relief effort through our church, she asked if she could give me money. She opened her purse and gave me all she had, $4. I grabbed two more bottles of Children's Motrin. We hugged on my way out.

When I sat down in another daughter's home to count pills for dosage packs to be taken to Haiti, my nine-year-old granddaughter handed me $2. Her favorite cousin had told her she had given $2. She smiled when she gave it.

I see
your face
all around me,
the loving,
kindly face
of compassion.
Children,
a stranger
all helping together.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Dearest God,

Who does not anguish for our sorrowing brothers and sisters in Haiti? Who does not shed tears for families torn apart by the devastating earthquake? Who does not mourn for the dead and pray prayers for the living?

I spoke with a woman tonight who is coordinating efforts to get supplies to Haiti by Tuesday or Wednesday this week. As a nurse she's traveled to the country 11 times doing wound management. She returns in two weeks.

Lord, I am returning her stories back to you. She calls them miraculous. The Chapel Hill United Methodist Church desperately needed a truck to carry supplies to Florida where they will be flown to Haiti. Someone called U Haul. They discounted it 50%. Another person paid the other half. They needed drivers to leave on Monday or Tuesday for Florida and immediately return. Within 20 minutes they had four drivers. When they needed funds to fly the supplies from Florida to Haiti, someone offered $10,000. That's just one miracle story. There are many others.

O God, when our hearts beat in rhythm with your own, you open doors to compassionate love. You give us opportunities to participate in your miracle work. You put us in the right place at the right time with the right people.

Heavenly Father,
your people
hurt so much
right now,
beyond my
own imagination.
Thank you
for swinging doors
that open
and close
as needed.
Thank you
for connecting us
to your
needy children,
our human family.
Thank you,
dear God,
thank you.

Love, Andrea

Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear God,

You know the desire of our hearts, Merciful God. You tend to our desire to love and help others. As I considered the people of Haiti, I opened an e-mail and found a way to help. Making health kits that could be distributed to hurting people could help alleviate a small part of their suffering. While I was thinking of how I could mobilize people to help, a friend called and told me about a medical person who will arrive in Haiti on February 5. That one call led to another until I found a way to help paramedics who are leaving on Monday or Tuesday of next week.

When I trust you to lead my life, show me the way, doors and windows open. Visions come, soft murmurings ring in my ears. If I am truly attentive and willing, I can step into the vision and walk with you.

Lead me, Lord,
to a
greater life
of faith.
Show me
the ways
to help
my earth family,
strangers and friends,
who need
your compassionate care.
I am not
my own,
but yours,
Great God;
use me
for your purpose.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Dearest God,

I saw my first images of the devastating earthquake. Tears filled my eyes for strangers on the planet whose lives have been decimated. I can't begin to take in the suffering.

Just last night my covenant group sat around the antique table and shared miracles, teeny tiny to huge ones given to each of us. For over an hour we shared the ways in which you had touched, inspired, changed, and transformed our lives. We celebrated, giving thanks.

In the reflection of our miracle sharing, I looked into the faces of a wounded people, memories etched forever in their minds of the moment when they lost so much. How I would trade some of our miracles for their restoration!

Lord, I know miracle stories will be told from this tragedy. I am certain that lives will be changed forevermore. But what about the masses, dear God, those who lost whole families, their homes, jobs, possessions and ability to care for themselves? What about them, Compassionate God? What about them? Where are their miracles?

Restore new life
to these,
your wounded people,
O Lord.
Prick our
selfish interests
showing us
the way
of giving
to the least,
the last,
the lonely
and the lost.
Make us
brothers and sisters
who care,
reach out,
and give sacrificially.
Remind us
that we
are all
your children
responsible for caring
for one another,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dear God,

How can so many insightful thoughts come in one house? How do you work among a people dedicated to a life of faith? How can one home become a holy space filled with spiritual potentiality? How do you do it?

I love the Little Noddfa House, an old home located on the property of the Sisters of St. Joseph Retreat Center. I have stayed here numerous times, did my staff retreats here and now my covenant group calls it home to our own retreats.

How is it that you provide such wonderful spiritual guidance in a house that looks like so many others? I know this structure was dedicated to spiritual renewal by the sisters. I know it was set aside many years ago for the purpose of spiritually enlightening seekers, pilgrims of the faith. But what makes it different?

On a regular basis I find myself in these "homes", hallowed spaces of faith. I long for opportunities to be in your presence for growth, challenge, direction, correction and devotion; therefore, I am drawn to them. I am never disappointed.

You are
a wonderful God,
always seeking
to bless
your pilgrim followers.
You teach
and love
and comfort
and prod us
toward faith.
You hold us accountable
to a standard
of growth.
You push us
to remember
your work
in us,
to celebrate
and live responsibly
in the world.
Thank you,
O God,
for a family
of faith.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Dear God,

On the face of the earth there are places I call home. The Carmelite Monastery. Christ in the Desert Monastery. Sisters of St. Joseph. And there are people where I find home, Susan, Bill, Jan and Cindy, my covenant group. Put the two together and I am home, a place of trust, safety, security, warmth, and love.

Today we circled round and began to share our journeys, where you have led us these past few months since we were last together. Our hearts opened, our souls poured out. We shared because we believe in one another, trust one another. We have for 21 years.

When I reflected upon your workings in our lives, I realized you are always the one who sits with us, who helps us sing our tune, cry our tears, dance our dance, ask our questions. We trust one another because we trust you in our midst.

As I listened to my colleague friends, my sisters and brother, I thought of the gifts they are. We have traveled to heaven and hell together. We have walked through brokenness and wholeness. We have journeyed through doubt, fear, hopelessness and despair. But we have also spent much time in eternity celebrating hope, joy, faith, love, and peace. We have known sorrow but also praise. We have pilgrimed through life together.

We love
one another
because we
love you,
dearest Friend.
We trust
one another
because we
trust you.
We have
faith in
one another
because we
have faith
in you.
Our lives
have been
wed together
because the
strand that
holds us
is divine,
that cord
from heaven
that binds
kingdom people together.
We know love
because you
have taught
us love.
In this
new year
I celebrate
the gift
of home.

Love, Andrea

Monday, January 11, 2010

My dear God,

By day's end I had experienced many sweet moments during the day: tasks accomplished, challenging phone calls made, several satisfying looks at the wintry landscape, thank you notes finished, meaningful chats with family members, errands run and checked off my list, books read to my granddaughter all tucked in with my Frosty fleece blanket, lights taken down and snow persons put back up, a cozy meal for one at Panera Bread, and a repeat watching of my third favorite Christmas movie, The Holiday. My prayers before I went to sleep were simply, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

My ability and desire to call these "sweet moments" comes from an earnest desire to see life as half full or full, grace nuggets all traced back to you. My capability to see all that is around me through the lens of heaven stems from my desire to love you back for all your many goodnesses to me and to others around me. I see life as good no matter what. I may be in the deepest darkness at times but you reveal yourself to me in a variety of different ways and I realize life is lived best with an abundant awareness of your presence.

My heart beats
with thanksgiving,
my dear God.
The joy
of each day
always takes me
to you.
But then
so does sorrow
or doubt
or fear.
I wind up
at your feet
regardless
and I know
eternity's kiss.
My well
is full,
Great Well Filler.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Dearest God,

A week ago I left my lights on during church and my car battery died. I had to ask someone to go out in the cold to help me.

While my battery was running down outside in the parking lot, inside the church, the opposite was happening. My own batteries were being recharged. The music, scripture reading, message and the fellowship were delighting my soul as I participated in worship.

You know, dearest God, I have never been disappointed when I entered your house. Nothing is perfect there but then I am not looking for perfection. What I do find is that a willingness on my part to be open will lead me to you. I know that you will speak a word to me. You will inspire and touch my heart. You will challenge and correct me. My openness allows you to gift my heart with the joy of your immense love. I always carry something home.

My spirit
needs recharging
just like
my body
and mind.
You are
the great charger,
O Lord;
you fill me
with spirit fuel.
You ignite
the fire
of your love
within me
and my batteries
are ready
for a
hard week.
Remind me
to turn
toward you
for spiritual
and emotional energy.
Stoke up
your fire
inside me,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Dear God,

We allowed Fred to lead us to Indianapolis except that he took us to Evansville. I simply followed my brother's foolproof method for finding the best way home. GPS's are not foolproof.

I wasn't troubled because eventually I took a new route home, a picturesque landscape right out of Currier and Ives. The rising and falling of southern Indiana's hills coupled with pastures and valleys, farms and homes where snow had fallen whetted my appetite for the fluffy white stuff. I traveled the unfamiliar route taking in the loveliness all around me.

Although the journey home was supposed to be about five and a half hours, the extra two hours gave me beautiful scenes upon which to gaze. Frozen lakes sparkled as glittering snow simply glistened. Aah winter!

What I learned from you was to trust the road where you lead. I am already acquainted with the familiar pathways of the past. There's nothing new under the sun there; however, the unexplored passages have great possibilities for the future.

O God,
thank you
for new roadways,
those alleys
and trails
that lead
to the future.
Remind me
that my way
is the
old way;
your way
is always best.

Love, Andrea

Friday, January 8, 2010

Dearest God,

We talked about living life in the NOW, not putting it off until tomorrow. My family member's surgery did not go well. We had hoped they would remove the blockage, both of them but they could not. He can't have surgery again, too dangerous. They will only be able to manage his pain.

My siblings and I as well as our spouses are at the age when our bodies are showing the wear and tear of time. We can't expect our flesh and our inner systems to function as if we are 20 or 30 or 40 or even 50 years old.

In our small inner circle gathered for my brother-in-law's surgery, we talked about living every day as if it were our last, reveling in the gift that is life. We discussed giving thanks as we awakened each morning and giving praise as we closed our eyes each night.

Our time together stimulated my own thinking. Am I living each day as if it is my last? Am I expressing gratitude each day? Am I reveling in life? Am I focused daily on your gift?

Gracious God,

the air

I breathe

is yours.

The joy

I feel

comes from you.

The hope

within me

begins with you.

Let praise

spill from

my lips,

I pray.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Dear God,

My brother in law's surgery did not go well. The blockage was/is like concrete, plaque so hard that it cannot be removed. He can't have surgery again because it would be too dangerous. If there is another blockage, they will only be able to manage his pain.

My sister and brother in law have lived a love affair for 40 years. Their love for one another shows all the time. Tonight as each person kissed my brother in law good night in the ICU, my sister said simply, "I get the last kiss."

I have observed these lovebirds for years. Their eyes twinkle when they are together. Oh they can get mad but nothing lasts long with them. They are a wonderful model to family, friends and strangers. They live out the agape love you came to bring.

Bless Max
and Debbie,
O Lord;
let their love
hold them fast
during this
difficult time.
May they experience
the love
of heaven
that lives
inside them.
May they
draw strength
from your well.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

My dearest God,

Epiphany, today is Epiphany, the day we celebrate the magis' gifts to the infant Jesus. I love this day, O Lord, because it turns my mind from receiving gifts to giving them. The truth is that I receive gifts every day. Opening my eyes in the morning is a gift. Rising from my bed is a gift. Going to the bathroom, brushing my teeth, bathing, and dressing are all gifts not to mention living in a comfortable home with running water, clothes in the closet and food in the pantry and frig. I have books to read, pictures of my family and mementos of meaningful events all around me. I receive these gifts afresh every new day.

As I consider all my possessions, lovely thoughts, hopes and dreams, I realize I have much to give back, to share, to offer to others. As I prepared for this day, I sent out my Epiphany letter to family and friends. I shipped copies of my cookbook to most of my family, nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles and aunts. The cookbook is a symbol of our family unity, something we did not share together for way too many years. As I walked into the post office, my hands full of cookbooks, I realized once again just how blessed I am.

On this
Epiphany day
I revel
in faith
that gives me
great joy.
I know
the source
of my
living faith.
You are
the source
of living water
to me,
dearest Christ.
I drink
from your well
and there
I count
my blessings.
May my life
be a blessing
to you,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Dear God,

What makes faith grow? What inspires a person to envision God? What causes the soul to awaken? What pushes the mind to make a change? What creates an emotional response to a spiritual thought, event or activity?

I talked with a young woman today who wants to attend a Christian high school. She was a member of one of my confirmation classes and I have observed her with great interest because she has been influenced by you. She has not only been spiritually moved but she is also pursuing a deeper life of faith. When she asked me to write a letter of reference for her, I asked her why she wanted to attend a Christian school and she told me she had been so inspired by church that she wanted more.

I remember watching this change take place over many months, years now. I witnessed the awakening, the joy. I saw the light bulb come on. I gazed upon her face as she turned slowly toward the light. She's been walking toward it ever since. But then so has her parents.

One of my life joys is sharing in the lives of persons who quest for faith, who seek greater knowledge, who want an experience of God, who want to walk a new path, who wish to explore the deeper dimensions of a life with God. My own joy erupts as I eye faith coming to life in others. There is no joy like faith joy.

O God,
bless this daughter
of yours
with greater faith.
Pave the way
for her work
in the world.
Use her
sweet spirit
to revive
and renew
those around her.
Inspire her
to release
her own joy
so that others
may know
your eternal joy,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Monday, January 4, 2010

Dear God,

Just as dawn was breaking, I was writing and listening to O Holy Night. Although I think of Christ's birth when I hear the song, I thought of how every night is a holy night. Even though there are times when I am afraid in the darkness, there is something mystical about looking out upon night skies. The brilliance of the lighted stars against the great black sky profoundly speaks to me of your living presence. As the light twinkles and sparkles, I often find myself in awe of your loving power.

I realize once again that every day and night is yet another occasion for praise. If it is true that each 24 hours is a holy day and night, then Christ can be born and reborn every day and every night. I need to prepare myself to be a warm manger for Him.

As this
new year unfolds,
make me
a manger,
a welcoming place
for you.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, January 3, 2010

My dearest God,

I sat in the third pew looking up at the bright, shining star from the east as we sang the familiar song, We Three Kings. As I blended my voice with all the others, I wondered what star, what light I would follow in this new year. And then you brought to mind the many points of light that shined in my darkness this last year. I recommited myself to follow your light.

That occasion brought me to think of events in the past, both good and bad. I had a real gut reaction. Those moments that had caused me pain in the last several months struck me down with pain again. Swiftly you came to me reminding me that we can only look back at the past, not return there. As long as I just looked, I was okay. In both situations, good or bad, I was able to give thanks because you were with me every time.

Not only did you speak to me of the past, you pointed me to the future. You whispered that life is always lived in the present and future, not in the former days. The past is history penned in permanent ink. It cannot be changed for any reason. However, today and all the tomorrows are pregnant with possibilities filled with hope and the promise of your grace-filled presence.

How many ways
can I
give thanks
to you,
my loving God?
The constancy
of your presence
loving, guiding
and gracing me
is the
greatest gift
I have
ever received.
Teach me
how to
love back
by loving others,
dear God.
Teach me most
about gratitude,
living a life
of thanksgiving,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Dearest God,

To take your lead, to follow you is a gesture of trust. Generally, I do not know where your path will take me. All I know is I have said yes to you.

In this new year, dear God, I want to be a blind follower, not in the sense of being ignorant or unthinking, I just want to listen, discern, and follow you. I have found the greatest spiritual adventures are those where I trusted you to lead me somewhere. I have surrendered my desire to pave the way, to take me where I wanted to go. History has been made by those who sought you first, acted out of love and then followed.

When I set my heart on something, I am determined to make my way there. But there have been times when my heart's desire was not yours. I made a fool of myself or I made a mistake. Only afterwards did I realize the error of my way.

On the other hand, when you came to me, whispered and I followed, oh the sweet journeys I have taken, the pilgrim paths revealed so much to me and I have experienced the greatest joys of my life. This is the life I want to live in 2010.

Capture my heart
each day,
Precious Lord;
lead me
to you.
Remind me
that the
most beautiful life
is one lived
in your
radiant light.
Challenge me
to follow
even into
deep darkness
if that
is your will,
I pray.
Let your
gracious ray
be the
only light
I follow.

Love, Andrea

Friday, January 1, 2010

Dearest God,

I awakened early this morning while the night skies still prevailed. I whispered my prayers to you, especially remembering those closest to me and then, all the others, every member of creation.

While I wrote in the darkness, my room lighted only by the glow of candles burning and Christmas tree lights shining, I prayed this prayer for the new year.

Lord of This New Year,
in the darkness
before the dawn
I meet you
with love
and devotion.
On this
first day
of the
new year,
hours old,
I honor you,
Giver of Every Gift.
I thank you
for your light
that shines
in every darkness.
I praise you
for the air
I breathe.
I offer
my faith
as a testimony
and witness
to my belief
in you.
I give you
my trust
and a willingness
to surrender
the need
to have
my own way.
In this
new year
I pray
for the ability
to see others
through the
eyes of heaven.
May I
live my life
as if
I have already
entered eternity,
bringing mercy,
joy and hope
to those
around me.
May I
be a beacon
of light
to the world.
Let my smile
be the smile
of Jesus,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, December 31, 2009

My dearest God,

I sat alone in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel this morning. In the darkened room lighted only by tiny white lights on the Christmas tree, I pondered the passing year. Although the hurts of the year had already found their way into your hands, I remembered countless blessings, moments of your presence invading my heart, mind and soul and I breathed prayers of appreciation.

Sometimes I forget to pause and give thanks. My soul fails to assess the many wonders of your grace each day. I go about my business as if the world revolves around me. I forfeit opportunity after opportunity to stand in the middle of your divine mystery and recount the ways your loving compassion has touched, restored, and renewed my life.

What a beautiful thing it is to step inside your grace, to wander its halls discovering the infinite number of people whose lives have been mended and remade by you. Such a walk helps me recover my own sense of awe and my need to live in the constant state of gratitude.

Thank you
for the light
that points me
back to you.
My blindness
gives way
to visions
of loveliness
when your love
entered my life
again and again.
You confound me
with your
many gifts
to me.
On this
last day
of the
old year,
I pause,
Gracious God,
to honor you,
to give thanks,
to offer
my praise.

Love, Andrea