Thursday, January 27, 2011

Dearest God,

"He leadeth me, he leadeth me, by his own hand he leadeth me." The old hymn, "He Leadeth Me", rings out in my head this morning. The he is you, the me is me. As I prepare for the retreat, I feel your leading guiding me. If it were not for you, I would have nothing to say. The only important words are yours because your words make a difference, transforming our lives.

I am very aware that my only job is to open doors to your kingdom. I open doors for others. What a privilege it is to be a door opener for you.

As I write the retreat, one session after another, it unfolds before me. I see the picture in my head. I see the women who will gather. I see your spirit move breathing life into weary bones. I see your spirit move penetrating hard hearts. I see your spirit move removing obstacles. I see your spirit move returning joy.

Yours is the work that counts. Yours is the power that reveals, renews hope, and restores life.

Wondrous God,
what a blessing
you are.
What glory comes
as you
lead us.
How humbling
to be allowed
to participate
in your
life-saving ministry.

Love always, Andrea

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Dearest God,

Today I am grateful for second chances. Second chances at life, relationships, marriage, family, health, and faith. Although throughout my life I have always found change hard, about 15 months ago you disclosed to me a new way to think about living differently. The metaphor of selecting items from grocery shelves, selecting what I want as part of my life was extremely helpful. You gave me a new way to think and to function. I am so grateful.

Today an incident arose that called me to second chance living. What would have been so difficult before seemed easy. I did not dwell on the past, nor did I succumb to the temptation to operate the way I used to. Quite literally my insides have changed so I have new confidence and tools to live life more meaningfully.

I know that second chances are a gift from heaven. I know we humans are a stubborn, reluctant lot. I am one of them. Yet, the fact that you haven't given up on us, on me astounds me! I love awakening to grace each morning and falling asleep in grace's arms. What a priceless bonus to all your other gifts!

Thank you
for second chances,
O God;
you are gracious
and full
of love,
never failing
to help,
guide, challenge,
disciple and give.
I am
so blessed
by you.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

My dearest God,

I quietly prayed, "Lord, sing me a lullaby, a lullaby of hope. Lord, sing me a lullaby, a lullaby of courage. Lord, sing me a lullaby, a lullaby of faith." I can't imagine anything sweeter than a lullaby sung by you, the Creator of the Cosmos, to one of your own.

In times of my own distress, I call out to you asking for a lullaby. Like a child I run to you. My own words of request echo back to me and I hear your song in my own words. I find great comfort and peace knowing your love and my trust in you join together and sing eternity's song. Grace always comes.

As I think back you have sung many songs to me. Each one has lifted me out of my disappointment, hurt, sorrow or pain. Each has given me an insight or new perspective. Each has taught me a lesson by providing me a pathway to newness of life. Only your song has the power to heal, renew, restore, and to return joy.

Perhaps all this is the reason music touches my heart so deeply. Every time I hear it or sing it, I am drawn to you. The lights of heaven click on and joy rolls down its halls. I feel so blessed that my whole being swells up with blessing from on high. No injustice, no suffering, nothing can last long in your glorious presence.

There were times when I was so low that the song called me to dance. As I gave way to your urging, I began to glide allowing you to move my paralyzed limbs. The more I gave myself to you at your leading the more my body began to come back to life.

Today in the dark early morning hours, I whispered my gratitude for the incalculable many songs you have sung bringing me countless joys.

God so Full of Grace and Love,
I reflect
and remember
the infinite number
of gifts
you have
given me.
I think
every so often
it is good
to recall
to mind
your generosity.
Today is
the day
to say
thank you
once again.

Love always, Andrea

Monday, January 24, 2011

Dear God,

I love a pristine forest where everything looks perfectly designed and orchestrated. But I also love an untouched snowfall where tree branches, bushes, and ground hold millions of tiny snow flakes. I love to look out and see a smooth and delicate white ground, a true Currier and Ives scene.

Although these scenes are my favorite, I also enjoy awakening early in the morning when the moon's glow creates long shadows illuminating the picture before me. That's when I see them, tiny footprints of rabbits, deer, birds and other night creatures.

Such images cause me to reflect upon the beautiful world you have created and then given to all your children. I realize that we too have the opportunity to make our mark, leave our print, and trail off into the future. We get the choice of where we will walk, pause, turn and go. I believe we each have a distinct print, different from everyone else.

Equally important we get to be surprised by the prints, the marks that coincide with ours. We can join a march with others or linger in a solitary place where peace can enter and we are enabled to carry that peace to yet another intersection. We can circle round and nest, being fed our spiritual nourishment. We can tromp, run, drop and roll, play, skip, jump, even leap. Each activity will make unique pictures about our life alone and with others, even our life with you.

This morning as I gaze upon the wintry scene, I accept the challenge to do my part today, to make a single mark or maybe do a doubles dance with eternity.

Thank you,
O God,
for sacred scenes
that call us
to deep places.
I'm grateful
for this day's opportunities.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My dearest God,

We spent the afternoon with my uncle and aunt whose home burned down a couple of days ago. I threw my arms around the aunt who especially helped my mother care for me the first year of my life. I kept hugging her and then sat on the couch with her by my side. I was so glad they were alive especially since my 81 year old Aunt Caroline was smoked during the fire. Her face was covered in black soot, my fire chief cousin told us.

Everything about me skids to a halt when tragedy touches my family. Time stops. My thinking on other subjects redirects itself to focus on the event at hand. I swiftly move to my wealth of emotions like gratitude, sorrow, joy, sadness, heartbreak, hurt, and desire to be close, feeling them all at once. My memory banks start to overflow with memories of my loved one. I reflect upon what it would be like to live without them. Then the tears flow, peppered with prayers of thanksgiving that a greater tragedy was averted.

As I permit myself to think about life with all its joys and its sorrows and near losses, you remind me again that life is lived in your presence. As each day unfolds, you challenge me to cherish the day, to revel in my blessings, to give thanks, to reprioritize, to say I love you and I'm sorry, to smile, to think deeply, to live out of the well of faith, to help others, and to contribute to bettering the world in whatever corner I find myself. When I am distracted, I stray from my path and can feel lonely and separate. I can dwell in what ifs or momentarily get caught up in what's wrong but (and this is the very best part) then you call my name like a child called to dinner. You move me to spiritual responsibility and the jolt is enough to cause me to turn around and head home.

I must dwell
in the land
of praise.
I must sing
and dance often
remembering your grace.
I must lift
my hands
in prayerful thanksgiving.
I must express
my love,
my devotion,
and my worship
allowing your glory
to shine.
I love you.

Forever yours, Andrea

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Dear God,

Who can predict a sweeping of your spirit? Who can maneuver events to reveal your loving presence? No one but you, O God, no one but you.

I have always loved surprises. I love to surprise persons with a special gift, a prayer, something unplanned. But you, dear God, surprise us with amazing things. The lost is found. After more than a year, I found my wedding ring. The darkness reveals the light. Blinded by sorrow and pain, you appeared in a great vision. Hope springs forth. When I was ready to lie down in Sheol, you shocked me with good news. Peace settles in. When I was burdened by many hurts, disappointments, responsibilities, and ill health, you offered me a safe haven. Love circles round and enters the human heart. When I was needlessly wandering feeling alone, your love found me and persuaded me to be loved. Reunion is made possible. After years of estrangement, you opened the door and simultaneously two of us came together in wonderment and joy and then our whole family was reunited. These are but a few of the incredulous happenings in my life that surprised me beyond belief.

When I least expect it, you surprise me with eternity's sweet gifts. A night sky can become a spectacular display of your shining light. A storm can leave the most divinely colored rainbow. Pain can be lifted. A life can be renewed. An insight can bring change. Bitterness can be eradicated. All these are surprises, your grace-filled surprises that inspire faith to soar.

Good Lord and Great Redeemer,
only you,
only you
can produce
and reveal
eternity's power.
Only you
can make
the doors
to love reopen.
Only you
can heal,
restore,
and renew.
Surprise us
again and again
and again,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Friday, January 21, 2011

Dearest God,

I am so happy and so sad both at the same time. My aunt and uncle's beautiful home on the lake burst into flames and was still burning out of control three hours later. They do not smoke. They carried the family history with antiques, paintings and pictures. They're in their eighties. I am so grateful they are alive. They were able to get out safely. But I am so sad about their home and furnishings. If I wanted to get up each day to family shots, to open the antique chest to take out towels or to sleep in an antique bedroom with quilts, chest and beds from way back when, I went to their house. It's all gone, all of it.

I frantically tried to reach them by phone to make sure they were okay. I broke down when I heard her voice. All I could say to her was that I was glad they were able to make it out and I was so sorry about their house.

Sometimes I forget how fragile life is, how everything can be wiped out in minutes. My aunt is one of two favorite aunts and I haven't been to see her for a while. Why did I wait? Why didn't I make time to go see them earlier?

As I watched their house burn on the internet, I cried. It was almost surreal. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sparing their lives!

O Lord,
bless my
aunt and uncle
with hope
and peace.
Comfort them
with the oils
of heaven.
Direct them
in their
next steps.
Wrap them
in love,
I pray.

Love, Andy

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Dear God,

Sensitize me, O Lord, to the beauty of giving. Remind me, dearest God, that the need to share with others is built into every DNA. How can one person, a family, a community, or a world exist without the support and care of others?

Although I am not a television watcher, I have been viewing Oprah Winfrey's ultimate Australian journey. I love the giving power she possesses. Yes, she has the money to give. But from what I can see, she has a rich and generous spirit. She is one who realizes that life is not about accumulating, hoarding, and storing up. She knows that life is richer, more valuable, more sacred, and more fulfilling when we give out of whatever barrel we have.

As I watched the show and witnessed the faces of Aboriginal boys receiving laptops from Microsoft, I wept. When one boy made the shape of a heart with his hands, I wept some more. The ability to give and the gift of thankful receiving touches my heart every time. If only we all were generous, if only we all lived our lives in gratitude, if only love was regularly poured out and love was received, we could refashion a new world.

I am grateful to you for signs of your loving care in the world. It increases my desire to give, to live more meaningfully, to share daily, to love deeply, and to renew my faith. How is it possible that you can love us and grace us so much?

Lead the way,
Most Gracious Giver,
remind us
that you
have given us
all that
we have.
Teach us
to give
and not
hold back.
Compel us
to say
thank you
every day,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Dearest God,

Lord, why do some people receive miracles and others do not? Why do some persons miraculously recover while others lose their battles? Is it just the luck of the draw or random life happenings or do you intervene saving some as others die?

I believe in miracles. You've given me many of them. I have never felt I warranted even one; yet, they have found me. Overwhelmed with gratitude, I have given praise to you because each time I felt the warmth of your presence. I have seen enough evidence to believe your hand was at work in the divine process. Why does not everyone get to step inside a miracle?

Most days I pray for all the inhabitants of the cosmos, especially for those who've been forgotten. However, my mind, soul, and heart tells me you've visited ahead of me. Do we all sense you the same? Do we all see the opportunity to be embraced by love stronger than our own? Do we each one have the same chance to reach back, to establish a relationship, to walk and talk with you? Even those who are impaired, is there a ladder from earth to heaven that enables all to find their way?

Today I pray for all who need a miracle. Will each one be touched by you today?

Open us
to your grace,
I pray.
Guide us
to you.
Reveal yourself
to all
your children,
those who
are willing,
those who
are not,
and those
who do not
know how.
Regardless of
who we are,
teach us
the same message
of hope,
peace and love.
Let faith
be born
and reborn
in all
of us,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Dearest God,

I believe every day is a day to strengthen faith. As I consider your many gifts given daily, I know they are not just given for my joy or entertainment; they are meant to fortify my spiritual storehouse. As these accumulate and multiply, I know I cannot hoard them. I must give them away. As my insides grow in love, peace and hope, I am certain there will always be enough for me but only as I share them with others. The act of sharing contributes to the filling of my storehouse and to others' as well.

I love the fact that humankind is connected to one another. Not one of us can live alone, producing and providing for ourself. If we get sick, we need a doctor, maybe even a hospital. If we need clean water, we need the water company. If we need our resources to be secure, we need a bank or a financial planner. If we need guidance and help, we need persons who carry special skills and a messsage of grace-filled love. If we need support, we need emotionally and spiritually healthy, wholesome friends who will give appropriately and meaningfully. You have made us to welcome one another with your love.

Today as I felt the flu coming back, I had one who used his gifts to care for me. My husband tended to my needs, filling me with compassion, love, comfort and peace. He reminded me that love is only love when shared with another. As I received his love, my storehouse swelled with your provision.

You are
the god
above lesser gods.
No one
can give
what you give.
No one
can love
like you love.
But those
who willingly
take your lead
to give
to others
will be
greatly blessed.
His blessing
became mine
and mine
became his.
Isn't that
the way
it's supposed
to work?

Gratefully, Andrea

Monday, January 17, 2011

Dearest God,

What is to become of the human soul? Under the right circumstances is every individual capable of evil ? I don't quite understand how a person can succumb to the decision to take the life or lives of those around them whether they be family, foe, or stranger. I can't comprehend how one person with weapons can actually stand looking into the eyes of another and then pull the trigger or plunge a knife or do any other act of violence upon another person. It is humanly impossible for me to understand.

I can, however, grasp hurt, disappointment, anger, resentment, bitterness and hatred. I have experienced these and seen it in others. But what happens in the human heart and mind that causes a person to leap from these sometimes justifiable emotions to attempt to destroy the object of their feelings?

As I reflect upon the loss of lives, the destruction wrought by an angry person or persons, my heart breaks. When I hear about such tragedies in the news, I sometimes weep both for the victim and the perpetrator and, of course, those who love them. I break into prayer asking you to help them.

How can we end the power of evil? How can we stop the destruction? How can we change the way we think and operate? When will love have the final say?

Teach us,
O Lord,
to find ways
to eradicate evil.
Help our
hurting hearts,
minds and souls.
Heal us,
restore us,
renew us,
we pray
so that
we will
be able
to change
the world
one person
at a time.
Let your love
wash over us,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Dearest God,

A day in your house is more glorious than a day anywhere else. What is the church but your home, where saints trod and angel feet leave their print. Our hearts are fitted for praise as we prepare to enter.

Our eyes and ears ready themselves for your wonders. A miracle. A hope renewed. A life restored. Peace in the midst of chaos. We carry our burdens and woes to your house but we also bear the joys of the week, the helps, the answered prayers, and the celebrations. The choir is especially blessed because we are created to sing your praise.

As we take our leave following the worship, we pack away your word, your peace, our faith and joy. Every step is a step of love that circles back to heaven.

Your gracious gifts
await us
every Lord's day.
We gather
each week
to say thanks,
not to ask
for more.
Blessings gently light
upon us
and we
bow before you.
Good God,
thank you.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Dearest God,

It has been three long years since I last wrote a retreat, three years since I visited the annals of heaven. During that period I allowed my soul to lay fallow as I took in the spiritual nourishment of grace, healing, hope, love, faith, restoration and renewal. Literally heaven opened its doors to me. It's felt like being served daily at eternity's banquet table, receiving the bread and wine of heaven. I heard the angels sing and sensed the presence of saints all around me. I lived in the middle of the most lavish love I have ever known. Not because I earned it or was worthy of it, you simply drew me in.

I can't begin to fully understand grace or eternity or love or even for that matter faith as it enters my being. I can't completely comprehend the awesome beauty of such wonders or why you come to me, touch and transform me.

As I reflect back over the last 36 months I discover the amazing number of signs and symbols you left in the wake of my sleep and subsequent awakening. I see the reminders of your presence, of your love, compassion, comfort, and mercy. I look in every direction and I am able to sense your powerful hand at work in human history. I see the invisible working through the visible. I hear the voice of heaven singing your praise, raining down upon the human population giving hope, power, courage, strength and joy. I can't explain it or describe it. I just know you visited me and remained at my side.

As I write my retreat joy runs through my pages. Heaven pops up and eternity sings.

Guide my writing,
Dearest and Wonderful God,
let your truths
be known,
your joys be felt,
your challenges accepted,
and your love embraced.

Love always, Andrea

Friday, January 14, 2011

Dearest God,

As I drove in the darkness, I turned on the CD of Jackie Evancho. I listened to the pure sound of Pie Jesu and found myself reflecting upon the wonders of astonishing grace. Just then I looked to the other side of the highway and I noticed how the car headlights shined in the darkness. With the music of angels and light piercing the darkness, it was so easy to dwell in eternity's realm, to allow myself to breathe in your goodness and love.

I do believe there is another dimension to life that lifts us even from the wonders of human experience. I think of it as heaven's home. A place, a space, a spirit of wonderment, beauty, peace and joy, this dwelling place offers something much more. Music and light are just two automatic doors, entrances into eternal joy.

During such moments of grace, I am so aware of your presence, a quiet, glorious, lavish love poured onto earth from heaven's vast wells. I feel such peace and desire to pray giving thanks knowing that it is all gift, all blessing, all you.

Thank you,
Gracious Gift of Heaven,
for earthly moments
filled with
eternity's joy.
Thank you
for awareness
and gratitude
that lifts
from my soul
and circles
with hope.
Thank you
for sacred connections
where the
human and divine
dance and
sing together.

Forever yours, Andrea

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dearest God,

Three children, Christina, Mattie and Erin have been my teachers this week. All children they made their mark early in life before forces beyond our abilities took them from us. Christina is the nine year old girl who was murdered in Tucson. Mattie was 13 when he died with a rare form of muscular dystrophy. Erin was 13 when she succumbed to neuroblastoma. But death did not end their witness to something greater.

Christina lived on the edge, wanted to break down barriers and change the world. Mattie started writing books of poetry about peacemaking, love and faith when he was three years old which all appeared on the best seller list before he was even a teenager. Erin worked hard to help other children with cancer leading the way in her community. Children, teachers we need to listen to.

My teachers bring light into dark places. Their joy in living while dying speaks volumes to hope. They challenge us to think about life through the eyes of children full of hope and promise but taken away so early. They nudge us to consider who we are, how we are living and what we are doing to make a difference in the world.

In the face of so great a witness, can I continue to harbor my resentment toward a friend? Can I selfishly accumulate blessings without returning them to the world? Can I ever again look at children as children who still need to learn so much or will I open myself to learning the lessons they have to teach?

Teach me
the lessons
of faith,
of humility
and obedience,
O God.
Break down
my arrogance,
my narrowmindedness,
and all
my bent places,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dearest God,

As the cold winds blow, it serves to remind me of the warmth of your spirit. When life situations toss us about, turning us cold inside, void of hope, patience and faith, your spirit is powerful enough to penetrate the deepest cold, warming the heart, mind and soul.

At times I have allowed life to build stone fortresses around my heart, shutting out the light of your spirit. I have grown cold, distant, untrusting and lonely. I have prayed wondering if the light would ever shine again. And yet, when I least expect it, where I least expect to see the light of your face, suddenly from out of nowhere, I feel the hairs on my arms begin to stand as the warmth of your familiar spirit invades my tiny space. My heart begins to thaw and then I look out seeing the radiant glow of eternity.

All around me there are signs of your presence. Each one tells me its story and I am reminded of your well of living water. Once I was dead, I think, and now I live. One cupful of your loving grace helps all the dead to rise again by faith.

As I sit here in our new writing room with several windows providing a magnificent view, I realize that faith is built on the foundation of signs and wonders that present themselves daily. So much around us is a symbol of the almighty, each one leading directly to you. Today the cold wind sparked a quiet joy within me as I acknowledged faith burning within.

Let your
spirit wind blow
as a reminder
of your presence,
a challenge
to faith
to rise up,
to grow,
and to burn
as an expression
of our love
for you.
Grant us permission
to share
the fire
of your spirit
with others.
Make our world
a better place,
we pray,
dear God.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My dearest God,

I dearly love the cold rush of air as I open my front door. I love the snow flakes that fall on my eyelids and lips as I bend my neck back to look up viewing the full snow-laden skies. I love the winter that speaks profoundly to me.

This morning as I look out, I can see just the outline of houses, trees, bushes and pond. I love this scene the most. How I would like to still the time, run outside and start clicking photos, one after the other. In this quiet picture of solitude, I drink from your living well. I feed on your nourishment. I take in your beauty and goodness. I allow it all to declutter my mind, to empty my soul of any emotional pain, and to drain away any errant thoughts.

I am full this morning with you.

Glorious God,
who else
provides such
beautiful wonderment?
Who else
can paint
such a landscape
of love?
Who else
can sing
your story
of hope?

Love, Andrea

Monday, January 10, 2011

Dearest God,

I love the beginning of a new day, a new week, a new year. With a freshness of unsoiled space and time, I love to enter the new with hope, faith, gratitude and joy. I love to start anew, to meet you with a clean heart and to know your holy spirit presence is all pervading. That's why I love to rise early, to welcome the new day in darkness where I can't even see what is before me and to utter a prayer of thanksgiving.

This outlook, this feeling, this gift challenges me to consider who I am, what I think, how I live and behave, and what I give to the world. I know that it is simply not possible to hoard all the incredible possibilities and blessings that present themselves. I am certain they are meant to be shared with others. And who would want to barricade one's self inside a home counting their many blessings and then placing them in a safe only to be counted a little while later, then shutting them up again for safekeeping?

Today is a new start with you.

Guide me,
O Thou Great Jehovah,
lead me
to the destinations
you have selected
for me.
Remind me
who is guide
and leader.
Refresh my memory
that I am
your follower.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Dear God,

Finally I was able to participate in worship after being sick for two weeks. My, how I missed being in your house.

Our choir sang a song that I just learned this morning. A line from the lyrics especially touched my soul, "embrace another year of grace." During the worship I kept thinking about grace and how deep and loving it is, how many times it was offered to me especially in the last year and the ways it blessed so many.

You love out of a bottomless well, O God. Overflowing, you pour your grace on every living soul whether we want it, realize it or accept it. It is always available, accessible 24/7 even though we do nothing to deserve such a priceless gift. Yet, by faith you give eternity's best. As I listened to the scripture being read and the message preached, I was aware of the awesomeness of faith, the beauty of love lavished upon us, and the goodness of God to enrich human lives, all of which is overwhelming to the human mind.

As I sat in the choir loft overlooking the congregation, pastors and musicians, I felt that I was sitting in the middle of grace stretching out in every direction. This is what heaven is like, I told myself. At the conclusion of the service, we sang one of my all-time favorite songs, It is Well with My Soul. Every time I sing that song, I stand with composer Horatio Spafford on the bow of the ship looking out at the place where all his children perished in a storm. I know that kind of strength to overcome life's great difficulties. I know hope that rises out of faith. So when I sing the song, I sing it as a testimony to your work in my own life. And when I do I feel such overwhelming joy.

There is
no love
greater than yours.
There is
no grace
like yours.
There is
no faith
like faith
that you fashion
inside us.
Gracious and Living God,
let my heart
always beat
in rhythm
with yours,
I pray.
Make me
an instrument
of your grace,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Dear God,

I am amazed at how the human soul is able to rise from its ashes and walk again. With perceived assaults from many directions, the soul runs for cover, seeking shelter from the brewing storms. There it is easy to hunker down, to pull the top in closer and to feed on self protection. The trouble is the hole grows smaller, darker and more cramped. While it may feel cozy, warm and safe, in time the soul will wither, trusting itself only and limiting its ability to rise and sing and dance in freedom.

This truth came to me in the last several months as you gave me a vision and helped me step by step climb out into the light, stretch, expand my lungs and legs, breathe again and begin the process of revival and restoration in my limbs. As I trusted you more and more, I began to feel a rattlin' in my bones even down to the marrow. All the while you sang to me heaven's song of compassion, hope, courage, strength, peace and joy.

Two years ago I had to cancel a retreat I was about to lead. I was too sick of body, mind, heart, and spirit, exhausted, worn from all the responsibilities and demands and lack of love and human support. I was despairing, broken and sorrowing but desperately I tried to function, to do what I was called to do on every level of my life. My soul retreated to safety where I holed up for a considerable amount of time. I got comfortable in my close quarters. Although you stayed with me, you constantly whispered my need to rise again, to breathe the air of your spirit, to stand strong in faith, to triumph over my pain, to take your hand and to live again.

With your love and by your grace, you lifted me out of my ashes and showed me the everlasting beauty of trust and faith. Together you and I forged ahead and the journey has been breathtaking, spectacular, glorious and filled to overflowing joy.

I can take
no credit
for the
wondrous adventure
you and I
have taken
except for
my willingness
to say yes
to you.
You have been
the power
that revived
my soul,
restored my faith,
and renewed
my life.
As I
daily sing
and dance
with you,
I sing
the song
of heaven
giving thanks
again and again
and again.

Love always, Andrea

Friday, January 7, 2011

Dearest God,

2010 was a rich year of learning. You took me, a child of faith, down a winding road of change and transformation. Along the way as I trusted you more and more, you revealed the keys to a healthy, happy, wholesome life. You showed me how to surrender unwanted, unncessary ways of being for something more. You altered my way of looking at situations and inspired me to lighten up, to look at the beauty before me, to shatter the old, dead habits that plagued me for so long, to live in hope, to find joy in the tiniest happening and to love deeply. The beautiful thing is you were doing the same thing to my spouse. How blessed we are!

O God,
take from
all of us
our death grip
on self preservation
and teach us
to trust
you more.
Open our eyes
to your future
for us.
Inspire us
to look
for the impossible
made possible
by you.
Let gratitude
dance from
our lips,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Dear God,

Why do I get this small longing in my heart to write you each morning when I rise from my bed? What draws me to connect with you, to let out my deepest thoughts and yearnings, my questions, doubts and fears? Why is it important for me to listen and to speak?

For me these hallowed moments are sacred. My desire to write is really a willingness to sit at your feet, to tune my ear to your voice, to prepare my soul for what comes into my mind and to allow the words to flow on the page. I never know ahead of time what we will say to one another. Sometimes I am stunned by the subjects, the topics about which we converse. I am frequently surprised by the direction we take together. At other times our conversation has unearthed a little known truth about myself, family, friendships, or faith. It seems we often return to the roots of my faith where you have me explore and examine my intentions, motives, hopes and dreams. Our time together feeds my soul the nourishment I need to meaningfully live my daily life. And there are those prized minutes when I read my letter to you only to realize it is really your letter to me.

Most Holy and Wondrous God,
I cherish
our time together.
I thank you
for reminding me
that you
are God
and I
am simply
a child
of faith.
Continue to
stretch and expand
my mind,
my heart
and soul.
Show me
your way.
Guide me always,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Dearest God,

How long is eternity? Can love last that long?

When my grandmother began to suffer from "hardening of the arteries", she couldn't remember things. She drew into her own world and sometimes wandered out of her farmhome and down the road. Eventually she could not connect to us, nor we with her. I missed her so much. When I would visit her in the nursing home, I could see her body but not her spirit. I wanted to hear her sweet voice say "I love you."

During a difficult time in my own life, I stopped in to see her. She was incoherent, very thin and lost. Because she was bent over, I sat on the floor by her bed so I could look up at her and she could easily look down at me. As if all was normal, I poured out my troubles, weeping as I did it. And then a strange and puzzling thing happened. She placed her hand on my shoulder and prayed aloud for me calling me by name. It was only a few sentences and then she returned to the dark world. I couldn't believe it. My grandmother who had led me in faith many years before had prayed once again for me and the connection was made with you. This time I wept tears of joy crying out, "I love you, Grandma, I love you."

It was really only a few short years later that my own father showed symptoms of the dreaded disease. Eventually he too entered that world that claims far too many. Even though he would look at me, he was frightened. In his world I was a stranger. I missed Daddy too.

In the last months of his life he grew sick with pneumonia and was hospitalized. The doctor called us all in thinking death was imminent. I drove like crazy to get there. But when I walked in his room, Daddy called my name and asked how I was. Shocked and full of joy, I kept saying, "Daddy, I love you, I love you, I love you." Minutes later he lifted his head and his hand and tried to get up. He kept saying he saw something like a light, a path. I knew it was a portent of things to come. You were the connection.

As I think about diseases like Alzheimers that plagued three generations of my family, I too want to connect with my family in the eventuality that I too am effected by it. I want to be able to convey my love to my loved ones.

Although I know your love is eternal and is carried from one generation to the next, is human love eternal? Does it exist even if it is not displayed? Can it be alive, living inside our loved ones as memories that last into eternity?

What is
more beautiful
than your love?
I believe
your example
calls for
love to grow
inside us,
for you,
ourself and others.
Can that love
live long
after we
are gone?
How much
do we
have to love
in life
in order
for human love
to live
after we die?

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

My dearest God,

Memory. Memory. In my memory bank there are prized moments forever etched in my mind. These snippets of time warm my soul like a steaming cup of hot chocolate warms the body on a blistering cold day. Memory.

Throughout my lifetime you have framed pictures for me. My grandparents, the family farm, my first grade teacher, my mom, dad and siblings, Christmas, learning to ride my first bicycle, special friends, our 100 year old house in Elwood, my baptism, singing in Job's Daughters, falling in love, giving birth, coming to faith, overcoming obstacles, laughing with friends, loving my husband, praying at various monasteries...memories locked away for instant recall.

Like every morning since early December, I plugged in my Christmas tree lights and sat mesmerized, looking at the glistening reflections of specially blown glass icicles and stained glass snow persons, of tiny white lights, sparkling red beads, and perfect Douglas Fir branches reaching out for Christmas in every direction. In a few days I will reluctantly pack away all the happy glowing faces, take down the tree and drag it to the curb but the memories made this Advent and Christmas season will be available at a moment's notice. Memory, another gift of heaven.

Most Wondrous God,
of all
my most
precious memories,
you are
my greatest
with unutterable joy.
Hope emerging out of despair,
fear overcome,
peace out of chaos,
insights lifted,
faith alive,
walking with saints,
singing sacred songs,
and walking in newness of life.
You,
O Lord,
are my life's
most beautiful memory.
Help me,
I pray,
to tend
to all these
with gladness
and thanksgiving.

Always, Andrea

Monday, January 3, 2011

Dearest God,

"...to love and to cherish until death us do part." My husband and I each made that vow more than 25 years ago. Along the way we took each other for granted assuming, I suppose, that our spouse would continue their commitment while our own loyalty slipped into yesterday's fading memory. We ran into choppy seas and finally our ever-shrinking boat capsized. Although we drifted alone further out to sea, a hand from heaven rescued us.

Today after my doctor's appointment and to get a change of scenery from having been sick for several days, we sat at Barnes and Noble drinking coffee and reading books. I looked across our tiny round table for two and smiled, so grateful for 2010's greatest gift. Later as we sat in the living room, our chairs scooted up beside each other, we held hands as we once again declared our love for one another.

I am convinced that there are some gifts that keep being unwrapped. Our marriage is one of those. New gifts appear regularly. We are giving more to each other and receiving as well. The fact that we both know it comes from you and we each contribute daily makes it all the more beautiful.

Gracious and Loving God,
we thank you again
for our
restored and renewed marriage.
We are grateful
for love
that continues
to grow
for you,
for each other,
and for ourselves.
Remind us
to help
create love
for a lifetime.
Make it
to overflow
so we
may share it
with others,
we pray.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Dear God,

Pliable, I want to be more pliable in the new year. Each morning as I sit in our new writing room with windows tall and wide, what I see before me is a grand picture of nature. All across our backyard and the backyards of our neighbors, trees stretch upward painted into the sky. What I noticed this morning is how the branches move with the slightest breeze. They sway back and forth, round and round, side to side. How lovely to watch them respond to the divine force of nature.

I want to be that responsive to the most negligible movement of your spirit. Like the tree branches that reach toward the sky and move with the wind, I too want to extend my hands toward heaven and advance, shift, leap, or soar by your direction or simply drift on your spirit breath.

I want to be as beautiful as the bending trees who listen and follow you.

Take whatever
is within me
that is
an obstacle
to my desire
to bend
with your spirit.
In this
new year,
remove all
that stands
in the way
of my obedience
to your will.
Make me yours,
O God,
one who
endlessly leans
toward eternity.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, January 1, 2011

My dearest God,

Winter is my favorite season. I love to look at the dark, barren tree branches across a gray white sky. Somehow, I think, the truth of nature is best revealed in the cold, dark winter than any other season of the year. Perhaps the spiritual life is best disclosed in the cold, dark nights of the soul.

When all is colorful with an array of summer's flowering blooms, one gazes only upon the blossoms in all their radiant beauty. And why not? Yet, to observe the withered brown leavings of autumn bequeaths to me a profound sense of hope as I know the earth is being nurtured like no other time of the year. And so with the poor in spirit.

I am aware that our prayers are not so much for the joys found in loss, pain, and suffering but more for the instant blossoms that normally take weeks, months to unfold. We want to avoid the cold, the dark, and the silence grasping instead for warm, bright sunny days. But that is not what winter gives. Winter is about roots not fruits.

I love the way the new year begins and ends in winter, in the cold short days of dark silence. There is something so magnificent and mysterious in winter. And I find myself embracing my own roots, my own truths and philosophy of life. Winter is about faith for me.

As I
drink in
the gifts
of winter,
guide me,
O God,
to you,
for your will,
your plan
for my life
in this
new year.
Teach me
the lessons
I failed
to learn
in the
old year.
Return me
to your classroom
where the mysteries
of life
are taught.
Disclose to me,
I pray
the weaknesses
of my
own roots,
my fragilities,
my unwillingnesses
so I
may look up
with eyes
of faith
awaiting the promise
of new life.

Love, Andrea

Friday, December 31, 2010

My dearest God,

I entered this year with puzzled uncertainty. The October before a mind-altering vision had come to me straight out of heaven. I felt blessed beyond belief not only because through thousands of loving prayers clarity had finally reached my carefully protected heart but also because I was able to see, hear and even taste what was heretofore impossible. A dramatic shift had shaken my world, my bitterness had been dissolved grain by precious grain, my ability to surrender had returned and my willingness to follow the challenge in the vision was in glorious place. I leapt forward like never before not knowing the outcome or end result. I moved fully in trust with you.

On this last day of 2010 I reflected back and wandered happily by your side viewing the astonishing series of miraculous events that unfolded. Yes, miraculous! You filled my year with miracles in my own life, in my husband, in my marriage, in my faith, in old and new relationships, and in many gifts, too numerous to mention, my husband and I received together.

Although I can honestly say you have blessed every year of my life, this year has been exceptional at every level. In the darkness came light, a glowing luminescence that pierced and filled hidden pockets of darkness forever opening them to the redeeming grace of your son. And the grace, what can I say, grace transformed us.

To be aware of grace on the first day of the year and the last day is to be blessed beyond comprehension. Grace surely graced my life this year.

If I
never live
another year,
I have
been fully blessed
with your love.
My heart
is filled
with gratitude
and devotion.

Love always, Andrea