Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Dearest God,

I found I was like a dry, thirsty sponge ready to soak up the life-giving nutrients of your living spirit word. It had been six months since I had been to the Monastery Liturgy and the moment I drove into the circle and walked up to ring the bell, I felt my soul longing to be close to you.

It was when we began to sing the psalm that I realized how much I had missed the monastic chapel worship. I closed my eyes and felt my whole body breathe in the gift of your living presence. "O God, you are my God, I seek you, my soul thirsts for you." We spoke the words of Psalm 63 and how glad my spirit was to drink from your well of fresh water.

Although my life is happy and content, I must confess that my monastic heart is never fully satisfied with daily living and precious family relationships. My soul is restless without an active spiritual life in community where those gathered are wholly yours. As I step inside the chapel and look around the room filled with women whose only marriage is one with you, I know I am in the right place to worship, to love, to drink in, to learn, and to draw in the rhythm of spirit life.

How can I be a retreat leader without this kind of refreshment? How can I live the Christian life without daily making a pilgrimage to the deepest well? How can I serve the living Christ, your son, without a deep, abiding, and living faith? I cannot.

As I bowed to the altar where we honor the gift of a savior and turned to leave, I realized I was full again.

Most Gracious God,
there is
no well
like yours.
There is
no spirit fire
like yours.
There is
no agape love
like yours.
You alone
are God,
full of grace
and love.
My soul
is full,
full of you.

Love, Andrea