Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Dear God,

I wanted to say goodbye and thank you, to express my appreciation and love, and to take a last walk through our beloved St. Joseph Retreat Center.  I started my walk in the conference room, the site of many healings, insights, hopes, joys, and celebrations.  I let my tears flow in thanksgiving as I looked out at the statue of Mary.  I remembered women in joyous celebration discovering the eternal connection with you.

Next I walked out of the room and down the hall, reading the brightly designed posters of St. Joseph Day and then I opened the door and moved inside the inspiring chapel, the light shining through the blue, red, and yellow stained glass windows.  I walked by the Stations of the Cross where retreatants wandered wondering about faith, the cross, and Christ.  I remembered the labyrinth where women moved quietly, reverently into the center where you awaited them in grace.  My tears continued as I turned to leave, allowing the door to silently close behind me.

And then I climbed the stairs to the third floor, to the bedrooms of the faithful who came to the center looking for faith, hope, understanding, friendship, mercy, and peace. I walked the square, peering inside each room remembering those whose hearts were opened to you.  I looked at the doorknobs where I had placed cloth bags that during retreats I would fill with spiritual treasures.  I remembered and silently wept with deep gratitude.

Finally I started the trek back down the stairs where I had journeyed up and down for 20 years as I lead retreats and retreated alone with you and with my covenant group.  Oh, how much love emanated from each step that held me.  At the bottom of the steps I turned and walked through the doors entering the ground floor of the center.  I took my final walk reading the carefully crafted, beautifully-written history of the sisters of St. Joseph.  I lifted my hand, gently pressing my finger across the words, "May those who come behind us find us faithful and may we sing to the next generation."

I realized that faith had met me here so many times.  Peace had made its way into my heart.  Joy had greeted me as I let myself trust for my own healing and the healing of others.  How wondrous and generous.  Just then a sister came over to me introducing herself for the first time.  There you gave me the perfect opportunity to say thank you and to express my thanksgiving for the years of mystical surprise and grace.  Tears welled in our eyes as I shared how profoundly the monastic community had influenced and transformed my life and the lives of so many others.  As we hugged one another, we celebrated your sacred doings, giving thanks for something so vast and wonderful.

Gracious and Generous God,
to you
all glory
is given.
You have blessed
so many,
many times.
When our
hearts hurt,
you brought healing.
When our minds
were cluttered
and distracted,
you gave clarity.
When our souls
were empty,
you filled us
with life-giving food.
When we lost
our way,
you revealed
the road
back home.
What can
I possibly say
express my praise
and thanksgiving?

Love, Andrea