Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Dearest God,

During the morning liturgy I looked out among the worshipers and found them gray like myself.  I wondered about the future in ten years and then realized even in five years so many could be gone.  That took me to a conversation in the walkway following the service where I gave voice to my concern.  "Perhaps our work is done."  The sister said.  "But God is always creating anew."  As we parted, I turned, walked down the hall,  then finally stopped and looked out at the courtyard allowing time and space for my tears to finally fall.

As I stood quietly you spoke to me.  "Living and dying, dying and living come together."  You said.  "Unless a grain of wheat falls and dies..."  All day long I thought about your words.  I realized that hope remains alive through it all no matter what happens.  New birth takes different shapes and forms, sometimes it does not even speak the old language but whatever it is, it is fresh and new because your hand fashions it.

Lord, I confess I often hold too tightly to those who live in the winter of their life or their activity or their love or their ministry or their way of doing something or the way things have always been.  When I sense an alteration taking place, I squeeze harder.  What you showed me today is that we must hold loosely to one another always leaving room for you to move us, to shift our position, to release us, or to take us home.

Why must I
want my
own way,
dear God?
Why must I
hold too tightly
to that which
I love?
Show me
once again
the way
of trust
so your light
can shine brighter
on the future.
Deepen my well
so my love
for you
will have opportunity
to deepen
as well.

Love, Andrea