Friday, September 29, 2006

Dearest God,

A black night sky. A million twinkling stars dotting the firmament. "The heavens proclaim the majesty of God!"

We left for St. Meinrad before the sun rose. A Benedictine seminary near the Kentucky border was our destination. After stopping for breakfast we arrived late in the morning. A silent walk lead us to the Rock Garden. As each one of us ambled through the winding path, we heard the bells tolling, calling us to prayer. We turned and made our way to the chapel, a grand edifice with golden spires rising up into the clouds.

Seated in the spacious sanctuary with chairs on either side, altars at both ends, we entered the silence as the brothers stepped into the chancel. "O God, come to my assistance." The brothers sang together.

At once I was back home at Christ in the Desert Monastery where I spent several days just a year ago. I remembered the heavy brown robes and white cinctures wrapped around their waists as they bowed before the altar, paying homage seven times a day to the God of their faith. They too were Benedictines. I had not put the two things together. But now, I was praying the psalms as we had done last year. And as we prayed, "Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit...", we too bowed to the altar making God aware of our own devotion. The midday prayer service was just as it was during my renewal, except that we had sung the psalms in the desert. What beautiful moments spent remembering...

I recalled as well my seminary experience, the shaping and reshaping of my own faith and belief system, letting go of the faith of my grandmother to take hold of my own unique credo. The questions, the wonderings, the tears of surrender to childish beliefs and the awesome moment when it all came together.

I was in my next to last semester. I had held off taking this one class because it was the hardest class with the toughest professor. I remember taking one of his classes my first semester. I spent untold hours writing my first paper. He gave me a C and then wrote across the top "do you think such sloppy thinking glorifies God?" I was ready to quit. How could they let stupid people like me in seminary I thought to myself. But God had called me for seven long years before I said yes and I determined to stay and learn. I knew what the St. Meinrad men were thinking and feeling as they sang the psalms as a testimony to their faith. And as we left for the yurts where the four of us would be staying I was filled with joy at connecting once again to the Benedictine spirituality.

When we arrived in the rolling hills of southern Indiana, the place where we would stay I took a nap as the others hiked to the lake. And what a delicious meal we ate in honor of my birthday, a gourmet meal made with organic foods, herbs and spices. The chocolate fondue with all sorts of dipping goodies caused me to focus on what was happening inside. I hadn't even noticed the sun setting in the west.

And so when we were filled with a delightful cuisine we went out onto the deck overlooking the hills. The night was indeed black and the stars were in the millions nodding to us. And inwardly I sang the song of Sandi Patti, "O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth. O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth. O Lord, we praise your name. O Lord, we magnify your name. Prince of Peace, Mighty God, O Lord God Almighty." How can one breathe in the majesty of God without singing?

The night skies have always intrigued and mystified me. I remember looking into the skies when I was just a few years old, staying with my grandparents on their farm outside a very small town in Indiana. I remember the stars. In fact I think that was my first encounter with God. How could diamonds shine in the sky all by themselves? I thought to myself. My favorite cousin had told me God was there. I believed her and I never stopped believing.

Black nights
and shining lights
awaken my sleeping soul.
The beauty and majesty
of the heavens
hearken my spirit
to well up with praise and adoration.
I shall not forget you.
And even if my vision grows dim with age,
I shall forever remember
the skies that everlastingly
proclaim the greatness of God.

Love always, Andrea