Friday, November 10, 2006

My dearest God,

An answer to a prayer brought me to Sabbath Days of gratitude. I tied up loose ends, called persons in the hospital at nightfall, then drove down SR 31 N to the Sisters of St. Joseph Retreat Center. Home, I thought, I am home.

I finished a Christmas novel I had been reading, then fell asleep. I got up 10 hours later. Much needed rest.

When I read the treasured letter I received, I knew I would need to spend intentional time living in gratitude. When you pray hundreds, thousands of times for an answer, you have to take time for gratitude. Since I have failed to take my covenanted monthly Sabbath Days, I determined to take my days off as Sabbath Days, 48 hours of solitude, listening to the voice of gratitude.

Some thoughts have come to me.

My bed is located beneath a crucifix. I slept at the feet of Jesus.

Sister Andrea, 102 years old, a Catholic sister who tended to my birth at Mercy Hospital and the person I was named after, died on October 22. I visited her grave here. I am an extension of her life.

The stations of the cross display those who reached out to Jesus during the process of arrest and crucifixion. I asked the resurrected Christ, "If you thought you would never live again, would you still have died?"

As I walked through the halls on the third floor, silence prevailed. Memories of retreats, God's hand moving powerfully, lives transformed, my own included, this is a holy site. The silence was broken as I heard a man's voice say on a television, "this is a holy site." (Matt Lauer in Jerusalem) Holy sites are where you are.

The mystery of faith can change the most bitter heart.

The light will choose where to shine. In the dining room residents were seated around tables. I was the one to whom the light came as the sun rose above the horizon and shone through the tree limbs.

Faith meets faith. Spirit meets spirit. One knows the other, if only for a moment.

Home is where the heart dwells when it meets God.

Broken hearts are mended when God intervenes with peace.

God sends persons into our life to leave messages.

Gratitude is simply living in the Presence, smiling.

Silence has a distinct beauty. Its words are profound.

Spiritual awareness is living in the deep.

A thorn in the side is not a real thorn. It is the constant reminder of the limitations of the human life.

A ride past a house I lived in as a child reveals my mother who died almost seven years ago.

Gratitude is the soul wandering, listening, looking for the revelation of God, thankful awareness.

An open soul dips down into living water regularly, knows a cup is always waiting.

The threads of time collapse as memory becomes lived reality.

The soul captures every memory. The Spirit releases the memory into reality, feeding the soul, releasing gratitude into the world. The cycle of Presence.

It is true. There is a time and season for all things...a time to talk, a time to be silent...a time to be still, a time to speak...a time to experience, a time to reflect...a time to offer, a time to contemplate...

I cannot walk away from you.
When I step away to this side,
you are there, awaiting me.
When I turn, you are there.
You are always with me.
But I am not always aware.
Steepen my walk,
my journey in life.
Make every path
a direction
that leads to You.
Let my steps
be intentional,
walking, dancing in your footprints,
left behind for following.
Gratitude, circling round.

Always yours, Andrea