Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Dear God,

The day after Christmas. Remnants of gift wrappings. Drooping, dead Christmas tree (sucked up all the water, dry as a bone). Trash bags filled with toy boxes. Half eaten Christmas pie. The sparkle of Christmas is gone. Yet, I found myself humming Christmas tunes, hymns really, several times during the day. "Away in a Manger, no crib for a bed, the little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes, I love the Lord Jesus..." "Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright, round yon virgin mother and child, holy infant so tender and mild, sleep in heavenly peace..." The spirit of the Holy is within me. Christmas is not yet over in my soul.

I'm looking toward a new year, a year God has fashioned, shaped. I don't know the future but the future has been planned, but not every detail. There is that thing of free will. God is, however, creating the setting. I don't know how it will go. It can hang like a gray cloud in a distant sky or I can walk into the sunshine knowing God is God of fair and stormy weather. We will walk through the "weather" of 2007 together.

Living with the unknown, the unpredictable can be frightening. My need for control can kick in, redoubling my efforts at manipulating my environment (as if that's really possible). I can fight to plan my life, leaving little or no room for God to penetrate, interrupt or I can hang loose knowing that God shall indeed guide me.

I want to be a delight to God in the new year. I want it to be The Year of Trust, a time when I greatly trusted in God's providential care for my own life, my ministry. I want to follow Christ and I want to accompany him on his travels throughout the unfolding year. I want to see what God wants me to see; I want my heart opened to God's rule. I want to follow the footsteps of Jesus. And then I want to lead my church to greater heights of love, trust, and service. When I look back, do an inventory of the year 2007, I want God to smile, knowing I was obedient to his will.

There is always a lot at stake in a new year. People are watching us; they know what kind of person we are. They have preconceived notions of how we operate, who we serve (ourselves, God or someone or something else.) We can make a witness of faith or live self-consumed lives, making ourselves god of our own universe. We only get one shot at life and I want my one shot to count for something.

I need to listen for God's voice during the next year. Listening and following can keep me out of trouble except at the point of risking when I am asked to risk. Risky decisions made by God and kept by God's children are important; they lead somewhere, God's somewhere. I want to lead my church into greater service. I want Bethel to be known as a mission church, a church that cares about its neighbor, truly cares. Caring, loving is always good business because it makes God known in the world. Nothing else much matters. There's a lot of ways to care.

As I am ending this old year, I place my hands in yours.

I cannot walk alone
into a new future
without you.
I choose to travel
the spiritual path
with you.
A year ago
during the time
of my renewal,
I did that best.
I was deliberate,
intentional.
I walked with you.
And what I found
changed my life forever.
Ever-changing God,
I'm with you,
for a lifetime.
Lead me.

Always, Andrea