Saturday, January 6, 2007

Dearest God,

Jesus has been missing for a long time! In the 1990's I bought a hand-carved olive wood nativity in Bethlehem. The salesman was a delightful Christian man. I love this beautiful scene, of Mary, Joseph, Jesus, shepherds, wise men and animals in a stable. Each year I display it on the coffee table in my living room, front and center. I always wait until December 25 to put Jesus and the manger at the feet of his mother and father. Never complete until Christmas morning. Something mysterious, mystical happens when I draw my hand back and look at Jesus among the other figures. Birth. Joy.

I have looked high and low for Jesus. This year I took down all ten large plastic boxes filled with Christmas memorabilia. I emptied each one on the basement floor. I had Christmas treasures strung from one end of the basement to the other. Jesus was nowhere to be found. After these last few years I decided he must have inadvertently been thrown out with the wrappings of Christmas. I was disappointed but realized how easily it can happen. I gave up my search.

This morning I started taking down my Christmas decorations. I carefully lifted each ornament from the tree and circled round removing the strings of tiny white lights. The angel came last. She is always beautiful perched atop our tree. I wonder how she feels being placed back into the box of angels.

After having carried the tree out the front door, I looked one last time in the living room. I had forgotten to transfer the nativity scene to the basement. Harold had placed it on top of the piano when the littliest grandchildren arrived. I raised my arms to get a firm grip on the wooden stable. I picked it up, brought it close to me, then tilted it back while I placed all the pieces inside the wooden prize. That's when I saw it! An oval wooden piece was lodged in the upper beam of the creche. I looked closer. I moved the stable backward toward the piano, resting it on the keys. I plucked out the object. It was Jesus in the manger. Sometime, somewhere he must have become fixed and year after year we failed to notice it. I picked it up and placed it in my hand, an object of praise, glory and adoration.

While I write, Jesus is in front of my keyboard. The Yankee Holiday Sage candle next to me is burning, the light flickering with the help of an open vent. Christmas is still happening. God's presence, the air I breathe. What was lost is found. Jesus completes not only my nativity scene but also my life.

Lost and found,
so nearby,
yet blinded,
unable to see.
What are the areas
of my life
that are congested,
lodged,
firmly fixed,
things I cannot see?
What is too stubborn
to move?
Where and what
does God want
to pluck out of my life,
completing me?
Jesus leaves me
questioning,
wondering,
a new year
with objects, obstacles
to be removed.
Enlighten this blind soul,
I pray.

Love always, Andrea