Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Dearest God,

I lost a day. I gained a day. I got up at 5:30 a.m. and began working in the basement. Reconciled my bank statement. A big one since I got rid of credit cards and started using cash and a debit card. Then I tackled the files, in alphabetical file, recording information for taxes. Self employed, this takes a lot of time. All day. I didn't return to the upper realm until 8:45 p.m. The job is 99% done, sooner than ever. I do have to wait for end of year documents. But it's nearly complete.

When I wasn't listening to Mannheim Steamroller, I turned on the television to watch the proceedings and memorial service for former president Gerald Ford. Somber. Moving. A person just gets one shot in the end to make a witness. Faith exuded as one song after another was a favorite hymn.

Those who gave eulogies used scripture to describe this man who took over the reigns following the Watergate scandal. A man of honor, integrity, firm, tough, compassionate. This man reconciled us to ourselves following one of the worst periods in our history. Just took him 29 months to do it. No agenda but to return us to ourselves as a nation. We found our honor as a people through President Ford. "Well done, good and faithful servant," He surely must have heard the words of God himself.

I stopped working as the African American woman stood to sing The Lord's Prayer. I felt as if she was representing a whole grieving people coming to God asking for help. "Our father, who art in heaven..." The most basic human cry, like a helpless baby weeping for its mother. I could not hold back my own tears. So beautiful, sung like an angel.

We still need reconciling. We are broken around the world. Factions breaking away, attempting to destroy others. The papers record the deaths. Fear is rampant in areas. How do parents even allow their children to leave home for school? Nothing is certain anymore. "Give us this day our daily..." We can no longer go without this bread of heaven. She sang for us.

"Forgive us our trespasses..." Yes, Lord, forgive us. Take away the soiled stains in our life as a people, as a nation. "...as we forgive those who sin against us..." Forgiveness and reconciliation. Hope and peace come together. Can't have one without the other.

"Lead us not into temptation...deliver us from evil." Temptation tears at the fabric of the human soul both individually and as a nation. We fall to temptation daily, several times daily when we fall and fail. Deliver us, we ask, dear God, deliver us from ourselves. We seek for grandeur at great cost. Temptation seduces us to our lowest level. We can only hope to crawl out, but God hears our cries, redeems us again, sets us upright, makes a way for us when we hear God's own voice sing..."For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever." I saw the glory in the singer's face, heard it in her voice, a plea for us to return to God, reconciled.

Without your help we are doomed, Great God. We flounder like fish out of water. But how pleasant is life when we trust in the Savior, the only one who can help us. We are children; we never move out. We keep crying. Save us.

Our offerings of praise
rise up to meet heaven.
We are lonely children,
filled, returned
to ourselves and to God.
Redeemed,
a voice cries out for us.
We do belong
to the cosmos,
to our God.
We are not alone.
We are beloved.
Children of God.

Love, Andrea