Saturday, February 24, 2007

Dearest God,

Lucia was born in August, 2005. My renewal was to begin with her birth in September. She changed our plans. I was in Maine when she was born. As soon as I arrived back home I went to see our 21st grandchild. What a cutie!

Yesterday she came to visit with her big sister who is six years old. Lucy (that's what we call her or Lu or Lulu) is now 18 months old. She is dramatically different from her sister. Gabrielle, the six year old, enjoys playing alone. She can entertain herself, always could. She is quiet, reserved. She also likes to be with friends and family. She can be silly and loud when playing with her grandma.

Lucy, on the other hand, would rather play with chains and oil cans, climb into the trash can (eating the contents along the way), unfold all the folded clothing, and dismantle everything in her path. She is always on the move, calling out, "Babielle, Babielle!" She has a scream capacity that parallels any hyena.

Lucy had not seen her Aunt Jenni since Christmas. When Lucy's mom tried to transfer Lucy into her aunt's arms, a facial gesture to kill came upon Lucy's face. One eyebrow slanted, she cocked her head, scrunching her face. Needless to say, she remained gripped to her mother's frame.

Lucy was afraid. She held onto her mommy because she knew she was safe, secure in her arms. She wanted to stay close to her mom, looking over at her aunt while sizing her up. Only after a time was she ready to part from her mother.

Sometimes I have to do the same thing. I cling to God while I study people around me. I measure my safety and skills over and against unfamiliar persons or situations. I may feel insecure (for whatever reason) and tend to go slowly, to feel my way through. Only when I am sure I am safe, close to God, do I venture out into unknown territory.

Every day I have to relive a case in trust. I am not like anyone else. They are not like me. (Some would say, "Thank God.") Some days I find myself in places I have not visited before, either physically, emotionally, or psychologically. I don't know my way around. I can become afraid like Lucy. And I follow her lead by clinging to the one I trust the most. I am incredibly blessed because I know the One to whom I go for safety, security, courage and faith.

Sometimes I feel frightened.
Maybe it's my health,
or my ministry,
a relationship
or a challenge.
I may not quite know
what to do or say.
But I know
that when I draw close
to my Safety,
I will grow my trust
in others.
God holds us in safekeeping
until we are ready to toddle away,
testing our wings and our faith.
Lucy reminded me
of my Protector.
And Your presence.

Love to you, Andrea