Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Dearest God,

I visited the hospital today, two members, one with heart failure, the other recovering from surgery. I enjoy these times, listening, encouraging, sharing. I get to know families much better when I stand at their bedside attentive to their feelings and fears, their concerns. I come to know spouses, sons and daughters. The visits went well.

As I left the last room and walked down the corridor toward the elevators, I noticed a sign on my right, "Spiritual Reflection Room." Wow, I didn't know they had such things. I thought it might be a chapel so I decided to step inside to look around, say a prayer. But when I tried the door, it was locked. It appears that a code is needed to gain entrance. And so I walked on.

While in the elevator on the way down and my journey to the car, I reflected upon the message that locked door gave me. No entrance, unless you know the key code! How many people have walked on by because they didn't know the magic numbers? How many wished they could have entered for a time of spiritual reflection? Needed it? After all, the room is located by the heart failure wing of the hospital.

Sometimes we figure we have to know some magical method to access God. Prayer, a particular way, worship, a specific mode, baptism, this way and not the other, bible study, say the right thing. And even in the church often we lead people to believe they have to operate in a distinct way in order to avail themselves of God's presence. If that is the case, then we may as well stop dead in our tracks because we will never find the right route. Or we will weary ourselves to the point we will give up trying.

On my renewal leave I became aware early on that there is no right way to come to God. We simply fall at his knees in a heap and say what's on our heart. We offer our plea, shout out our fears and worries until we've cried our last tear. When we end our words with God and grow silent, then God has something to say in response. Many times the answer is simple: "Stay near me. I'll comfort you." Other times an insight or illumination will come. An idea. Hope. Peace. God doesn't care how we come. And God doesn't make it hard for us to find God. God is as close as a breath. However, often our practice is a long one where we try to discover God's whereabouts, then chase him down, begging, pleading, whining. We waste a lot of good quiet time with God when we simply function with God at our side.

I wish the lock would be taken off the door at St. V's. What are they afraid of? That someone would steal a bible? I wish we would share with one another how easy it is to be with God. Perhaps our problem comes as we expect God to manifest an answer immediately. And if we don't "hear" the answer, we conclude that God doesn't care, is not interested or too busy with someone else. Hogwash! It makes no sense that this kindly, generous God would create the amazing cosmos then go off to visit some other planet, leaving no forwarding information.

God cares more about us than we care about ourselves. The most selfish person could not think as highly of themselves as God does. Even when we fail to live up to our potentional or we sin in the most despicable way, even when we stop loving others around us, God still warms to us in our puddles. God wipes away the dirt from our faces, offers us a cup of living water and a place to lie down in green pastures where spirit wind blows in the breeze, where the sun shines warming our bodies and the angels sing their love songs. To whom can we offer more love and devotion?

There are no locked doors with God, no special key code, or specific visitation hours. God awaits us always and will forever. I breathe in a sigh at the thought of this grace. A life with God helps us to quench every thirst, to right every wrong, to find our way with footsteps to follow. I am never alone even if I want to be. Because the powerful silence of the Spirit is ever with me. I can walk into God anytime I want, just one step away.

This world is full,
filled with your grace.
And I breathe it in,
day after day after day.
Even the night
is filled with your gracious love.
I do not have to hunt for you,
track you down.
I am already with you.
I just may not be aware.
Make me always conscious
of your remarkable presence
that I may pay homage,
offer my thanksgivings
and blessings,
my love.

I live to love you, Andrea