Saturday, March 24, 2007

Dearest God,

I jumped in the shower 20 minutes before the concert was scheduled to begin. I had painted all day. I had broken nails and spots of paint all over my pink nail polish. But I was not about to miss this musical presentation.

With wet hair and spots, we entered the church and took our place on the second row. I wanted to be "inside" the music, to see the eyes of the soloist, to be close to the magnificient carved organ. When the musicians walked on stage, I was back home. It's a funny thing, seeing someone and finding God standing with them.

They climbed the steps up to the organ, a very fine instrument and I remembered the whole process we went through to acquire it. I recalled how it took six weeks just to put it together. I remembered the dedication service. And I recollected Cleve, whose vision it was to have a $200,000 pipe organ replace the old electronic one.

But it was when Caroline began to sing that my reservoir of tears began to spill over. "Master, Thou callest, I gladly obey; Only direct me, and I'll find Thy way." I could not contain the tears that wanted to flow out of me. This song, Here Am I, text by Fanny Crosby, epitomizes everything I believe, everything I want to become, everything I want to say to God. Caroline was singing my life's song, the song she sang at my farewell party. I reached God and whispered my praise.

Later the musicians followed us to our home to spend the night before driving back to Bloomington. Caroline and I remained up after the guys retired for the night. Stretched out on our forest green La-Z-Boy lounges, we talked and laughed, leaving no moments for a breath in between.

Caroline has a golden voice; Larry (I love to call him Lawrence) has a rare touch and these two have the ability to help me soar into the heavens. Their faith and talent can move anyone to tears. I meet God when I enter their presence. We have woven our lives into one another, two pastors and two musicians. We honor and respect each other's gifts and recognize they come from God. We laugh easily with one another. But we also meet at the intersection of faith when we come together. What incredible gifts we are to one another, simply because God is with us.

Following the concert I found myself in the arms of the beloved. Marcia, Debbie, Bill, Frances, Beulah, Hal, Edith, Judy, Janet, and Cherie. My past. Memories flooded my soul. How we shared our lives together for 10 years. The stories I will carry to my grave. Truly, I was home.

I have learned about life through the stories of others. They trusted me, opened their heart to me. Broken moments. Grace moments. Loving moments. I breathed in the presence of these God had gathered for this beautiful moment.

Friday night was a filling night, a replenishing of the Spirit. I drew in God's presence and fell in love with Christ all over again. My precious friends had ushered me into the heavenly realm. In the arms of God I sang along with Caroline, "Living or dying, I still would be Thine, Yet I am mortal While Thou art divine. Pardon, whenever I turn from the right; Pity, and bring me again to the light. Master, Thou callest, And this I reply, 'Ready and willing, Lord, here am I, here am I."

Your grace follows me
time and time again.
I find myself in your arms.
You are the Joy
that enters the room,
invades my soul,
sings to me
the tune of gracious love.
How can I
not burst forth in song myself?
A day with you,
is like a day with no other.
I discover my true identity.
I laugh and cry all at one time.
I know when I am with you,
and my whole heart
is filled with joy.
"Ready and willing,
Lord, here am I."

Eternally yours, Andrea