Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Dear God,

Patience, learning to wait, going with the flow, waiting some more. Two hours, it was, two hours just to change an airline ticket. Two hours online, on the phone, online some more. I had other plans for those two hours. But time was getting short and I had to make the change.

Frustration gets into my bones sometimes. But you already know that. I have my plan, am ready to orchestrate it when the proverbial wrench comes flying through the air and lands right on my head. Perhaps the wrench has taken the place of the 2 x 4.

I am grateful. There I said it. I am grateful for the experiences that teach me patience. I can't say I felt that way yesterday. But today reflection tells me that I could keep moving about 100 MPH and never stop. You hinder my travel, stop me at little milk runs, you talk to me. I slow down, look around, gaze upon your creation and pray. I'm on your time, forget mine.

Why do I habitually want to follow my own crazy route? I know the way is not scenic, healthy, joyous or meaningful. Yet when I have the chance, my train slips onto another track. And there I am, riding the rails going faster and faster. And that's where I meet you. You're in the middle of the track holding up one of those light lanterns, swinging it back and forth. The message is: Warning: Light is on the track. Stop. Reflect. My train comes to a stop. I see you standing there with grace. My shoulders shrug. My head falls. I sigh.

Such moments are valuable lessons. More so because I now stop. I used to run right over you when I saw a caution light. I know what I'm dealing with now. So I stop, look and listen. I know the Voice, the Light, the Conductor.

Heavenly Father,
my life is in your hands.
I am hardwired
with you.
I do not operate my life
alone.
You are with me.
You are my conscience.
You are my synapse.
You are my control center.
You never
grow impatient with me.
Your love meets me
at the door to my soul.
And I stand humbled,
ever so grateful,
to You.

Love always, Andrea