Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Dearest God,

I sing a song of gladness as I reflect upon the gifts of vacation. A week of work in the house, a week with my daughter and family, a week with retreatants (give or take a day or two), two days reading, and a week exclusively with my husband. I'd say I am blessed.

Refreshment. "He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul." I speak the same words as the psalmist. I have been by those still waters myself. I have drunk in the living water I sought with the retreatants. Restoration.

I have seen your face, heard your voice, walked beside you these last few weeks. What is a vacation without you? Nothing, but a box of memories that soon fades. But days with you, seeking your presence is more valuable to me than anything else.

I recount specific moments of joy...baptism of Lucy in the ocean, sprinkling Ann's ashes, sharing my home with my daughter and her family, dancing on the beach, Joseph and the Multi-colored Dream Coat, gazing at the ocean, moments alone with my husband, toasting to new paint colors with neighbors who voted on the color of our house, meals at the ocean, especially breakfast and a candlelight dinner, worship at St. Ann's, the wind blowing through my hair, my solo walk in the rain, reading, sharing the Eucharist with the flock at St. Ann's, a meditative walk through St. Anthony's Monastery, reuniting again with Sts. Francis, Therese, and Bernadette, watching the unfolding of a spirit sorely repressed for years, plucking black raspberries from my own raspberry patch, dancing at the ocean with Gabrielle wearing purple, finding blue seaglass, living my mantra "faith not fear", transforming our bedroom and hallway, just to name a few. My truest joy comes from you, Great Wonder, for you make my every day ordinary experience into a moment of extraordinary goodness.

My life is full when I step into your footprints, when I realize I am lead by you rather than pleading with you to follow me where I want to go. My life is full when I drink in living water that falls from heaven upon a dry, thirsty soul. My life is full when I earnestly trust in you. My life is full when we dance together, my always following you in the generous dance of life. My life is full.

In fullness
I offer my praise.
In emptiness
I reach out for trust.
I am never left wanting.
You, Holy God,
fill me with you
and I am joyous
beyond comprehension.
My prayers of thanksgiving
rise up like incense
to you...

Love, Andrea