Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Dearest God,

A return to faith. I spoke with a gentleman recently who grew up in a Christian home and church, yet as a teenager decided he did not "buy" the tenets of faith so he became an atheist. Suited him just fine.

But a couple of weeks ago when confronted by problems he realized what he had given up. He determined in his own mind that faith in God was better than the Darwinian theory. Held up better. Was crucial to life.

I think about faith a lot, what it means, its value to an individual and to the common society. I think of what a living faith can be for a family and a neighborhood, how it gets lived out.

And then I think about this: Is faith a "get out of jail free" card like in the game of Monopoly? Is it a way to temporarily get out of trouble? Is it something to call on when things get sticky and gummed up? Is that all it is?

I'm troubled when I live a faith-full life sometimes and other times not. When I turn from you because I want my own way. When I do return to what I know to be true, I am always sad, anguished that I was willing to set aside my faith to be on my own, letting go of the most precious commodity in my life. But I always find you willing to listen to my excuses, my weaknesses, my thoughts, hurts, challenges. You always have a word of hope for me.

Daily I pray for my loved ones. But there are many times I fail to pray for myself. I forget or I pray for others and just don't get around to praying for myself. I know that prayer can help my own faith, keeping it in place, strengthening me. I need a daily dose of prayer to keep my faith intact.

A counselling appointment for a couple last night reminded me about the awesomeness of faith and what a life of faith means and what a life without it is like. A reminder.

Loving God,
you are at the
heart of faith.
I am not.
Continue to speak to me
I pray
about matters
so close
to my heart.
Remove the obstacles
that stand in the way
of faith.
Or help me find ways
to rise above
or below the obstacles
in order
to remain true
to what I believe.
Teach me, Lord,
teach me.

Love, Andrea