Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Dearest God,

I found myself in three worlds yesterday, worlds that pointed the way to a living presence. You took me there.

First, to a recording studio. I was reminded that you carefully choose who to use for your purposes. A most unlikely place where your words would be spoken, your promises sung, your love expressed. Yet, the face of the owner brought me to the realization that you chose Peter, an impulsive fisherman to be the most important disciple. You chose Saul, an obnoxious, rowdy persecutor to be your witness to grace. You chose Tim, an artist, because he is able to paint the picture, then bring the picture to life.

Second, to an upstairs apartment. A home where light and darkness battle for a soul of faith. I watched the calm peacefulness come to the lines in her face. The love for you in her heart wins every time.

Third, in the parking lot during a tornado. I left the apartment in a misting rain but by the time I got close to my car, the wind slammed me against the car as lightning struck. I got in the car and drove away around the curve when suddenly 80 mile an hour winds buffeted the car, vertical rain striking from two directions at once. The lights went out in the parking lot and I realized I was in danger. I couldn't see. I knew I had to drive away, to find shelter because the winds were blowing so hard that I could not have gotten out of the car. I could not have opened my door, nor walked to shelter. I had to find a safe place to drive into.

I called my husband and screamed into the phone, "Is there a tornado warning?" I kept asking him because I couldn't hear his answer, the wind was so loud. When I realized I was in peril, I called my friend to tell her to take shelter from tornadic weather. Then I drove in the blinding rain which was coming at me from every direction. I had never seen anything like it. I was frightened, wondering if I could make it home. As soon as I drove into my garage five minutes later, everything calmed down. Within minutes the wind was dropping snow.

On one hand, the three worlds seemed to clash, the chaos with the peace. On the other hand, you were just as certain in the car as in the recording studio and apartment. You were present in each world.

I find myself always in different places, geographically, psychologically, emotionally. Sometimes it is just in my mind as I listen to the plight of your people. Yet, the thread that always runs through is the thread of your presence. I bring it with me. If I forget, I find it in others.

Make me always
a pilgrim seeker,
searching for your presence.
May my eyes
always be looking for you,
my heart anticipating
your voice,
my spirit
open, expectant.
You are the God
of calm and chaos,
the God of rain and storm,
the God of hope and peace.

Love, Andrea