Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Dearest God,

Reconstruction. Wherever I look there is reconstruction taking place, renovation or renewal of roadways that are designed to make lives simpler, safer, more efficient and happier. Sometimes I get annoyed or irritated when I have to take one detour and then another, not sure where I will end up or if I will arrive where I want to be.

But then I'm looking around me and I realize I'm running into reconstruction in the church. Lives are being reconstructed right before me. People who are malleable, willing to be remoulded, reshaped, refashioned in a new way. Although at times it is painful, sometimes just a joy-filled process, I see that things are changing.

I'm sixty one. I look at newspapers that have collected while I was gone. When I do a quick scan, I see how the world is changing. A transgender man is pregnant. Technology is changing the way we do things. Our values and philosophy of life are going through a metamorphosis. I don't know that I like it. However, it is the way it is.

The reconstructive process of the human soul is a spiritual activity. Every time I give myself up into your hands, I am being reconstructed. I allow your hands to reshape me, just like a Potter reshapes a lump of clay. Sometimes I enjoy the changing shape. Other times I am afraid, while other times are just opportunities to reflect upon my need for change.

Reconstruction is all around me. I can either take this as a sign of the times, see it as an activity driven by your hand or I can see it as a scary process ready and waiting to pounce on me at any moment when I'm not looking. Trusting you are guiding this process gives me hope.

Sometimes
I feel that push
that gentle nudging
that changing process
taking place
within me.
Sometimes I like it,
other times
not so much.
I am learning
to trust
your hands
reshaping my mind
or renewing
my soul
or calling
into question
my spirit's activity.
O Lord,
make me malleable,
willing to go
and grow
with the spirit's flow.
I want
to know
it is your hand
that holds me,
not someone else's.
Peace
rises in my soul
as I think
you are part
of my own creative process.

Love to you, Andrea