Monday, June 15, 2009

Dearest God,

I could not look up. I could not gaze around the room to see all those who had come to join me in a farewell celebration. I could not.

So many people came. One by one they would come up to me. Embracing one another, we remembered, reflected, recalled our shared life experiences. Jeanne and Ron from Michigan, Rose and Ed from Tennessee, why would they come so far? I thought perhaps they had come for something else and just happened to be in town. But when each couple confirmed that they had come just to celebrate with me, I buried my head in their shoulders and wept.

My family came. My sister and brother, my aunt and cousin, even second and third cousin, niece and nephew, great nieces and nephews, two of my daughters, a son-in-law, grandchildren.

My covenant group who has provided spiritual friendship across 21 years came, all four of them. How many thousand prayers have they prayed for me, my family, my churches across the years?

And friends, so many friends from all my churches. Why would they come so far on a beautiful sunny June day to share in my life? So many of them?

So many beautiful words spoken about my life, my ministry, my influence on people's lives and churches. I am not accustomed to such openness about my own life's purpose as seen through the eyes of others. I listened, watching their faces as they spoke. I could barely take it in.

After all the words had been shared, the funny things presented, I was escorted to speak and, of course, I could not. My tears flowed from the depths of my soul, a mixture of joy and sorrow, of celebration and loss.

"Do you know what a joy it is to love and serve God? I opened my mouth and said. I don't remember much more of what I spoke after thanking everyone for joining me. I was too full of emotion to remember.

The scripture says
that Mary
pondered these things
in her heart.
I am pondering,
still too full
to give voice
to my
heart's experience.

Loving you always, Andrea