Thursday, June 11, 2009

Dear God,

When will the tears dry up? When will my heart stop hurting? When will my soul undergo the adjustment of loss?

I live in the waiting time. For so long, so very long I wanted, anticipated, expected something more. My love was waining as I wanted so very much for my pot to be refilled. I could fill it with the wonders of creation. Nature is such a filler. But I wanted more from the one I loved.

What I have learned is that sometimes we simply don't receive what we yearn for. Life is not filled with simple, easy buttons that we push with instantaneous gratification. Doesn't happen. And I don't think I would want it to. However, it seems that small, simple things should quite naturally flow from a loved one. Doesn't always happen either.

What I know in this waiting time is that trusting you should be enough. Waiting for life to continue in a new way with trust should be the goal of each new day. Trusting in your time should be sufficient.

Forgive me,
Lord,
when I
cry out
for more.
Forgive me
when I whine,
pouring out
my pain
to you.
Forgive my
unrealistic expectations.
Teach me
to be clay
in your hands.

Love, Andrea