Tuesday, February 2, 2010

My dear God,

I want to ride the length of a single prayer. I want to see where it begins and ends, if it ever really does. I want to witness the power of the prayer. I want to see who is brushed by the prayer, how close it comes to others, what it does.

My illuminating vision four and a half months ago began with a wide and deep expanse of darkness. I saw teeny points of light coming from every direction, all headed toward the same space. Intuitively and shockingly, I knew they were hundreds, thousands of prayers being prayed for me, not the people praying but the prayers themselves. One person may have prayed hundreds of times.

I watched as they came together and collided, creating a giant explosion of light which not only illuminated the darkness but scattered outward in every direction. The prayers worked to alter the direction of my life; they changed me, transformed my insides as well as my outsides.

But the more important question is not about me at all but about the scattering light rays. How far did they go? Whose lives were struck by the light? How were their lives inspired, touched or changed? Where did the prayers go next? Are they still radiating somewhere in the cosmos, in one life or two, or many? In reaching out do they create the possibility that others will be inspired to pray? How far does a single prayer reach?

What I knew instinctively was that all those prayers had played a part in my transformation. Each person who prayed was directly involved in the exchange of certain ideas, thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors in me. Opening doors and windows to my soul, healing and wholeness entered like never before, urging me onward and upward. As I wandered in new, unfamiliar territory, I felt a strange, mysterious connection with each prayed prayer.

I have been surprisingly haunted by the experience. I have never before experienced prayer that way, nor have I felt the deep connection with all those who prayed. People entering my own intimate soul space have left me wondering just how far a single prayer will go.

As I have reflected upon all that has happened since that day in October, I have sought to better understand the mysterious nature of prayer. To be sure, my life has changed as I have worked hard to change myself in counselling and by all the prayers I have prayed for myself, for clarity, understanding, wisdom and knowledge. But it was then and continues to be clear to me that others played a significant part in my metamorphosis.

I can't help wondering if their own lives have been altered, adjusted or changed in any way. I am pleasantly puzzled by the possibilities of prayer power to connect, transform and convert the human mind, heart and soul.

As I delved into this exploration, I queried about where, when and how the prayer began. Did it really start with the current day person who prayed for me or does it go back generations? Maybe my grandmother's prayers for me when I was but a seed in my mother's womb was the beginning of the prayer or maybe in her mother or father. Perhaps it goes back even further to early disciples who prayed for future generations of people. Is it possible its origin was in the first garden when sinning souls reckoned their need to connect with you and all others following them?

I don't believe for a moment that a single prayer ends as soon as it is spoken or when it accomplishes what it was intended to do. Somehow I believe it radiates energy back into the world, sending positive ions, unconditional love into the creation. If a prayer emerges from the heart as an act of love, then I believe it is quite possible that a single prayer once prayed lives forever touching people in other generations.

I want to ride the length of a single prayer, O God, because prayers ride on the wave of your love. Your agape love is the power by which a prayer moves. How else can it reach its destination? Or for that matter is a single prayer intended only for the one person prayed for or does it circle round touching other lives?

I'm living
inside gratitude,
Most Wondrous God,
because you
are revealing
the secrets
of the universe
to me.
I can't begin
to understand
your divine ways;
I only know
your love
heals,
hopes,
and happens
day in
and day out.
And I am
only one,
a single one;
I am awestruck
by the quantity
and quality
of your
agape love
for every
human child.
Let my prayers
for others
rise and fall
upon all
your children,
I pray.
Make me
a partner
for good
in the world;
continue shaping me
for your purpose,
I pray.

Love, Andrea