Friday, November 19, 2010

Dearest God,

One of my favorite movies is Awakenings. I love the way the doctor works to awaken people from the deep sleep of Alzheimer's, dementia and memory loss. I love it when the main character begins to move from his catatonic state. The slow, quiet process of coming back to life is both miraculous and a real thing of beauty.

My father had Alzheimer's for ten years and we agonized as we watched him slowly slip away from us. It was so difficult especially since Daddy was fun-loving, witty, and sharp as a tack in remembering dates, figures, and places. Every time I went to visit him, I cried. I wanted him to wake up, to call out my name and to share an experience we always enjoyed together like eating freshly picked garden tomatoes over the sink with a salt shaker in our other hand, spelling hard words, or talking about all kinds of things, laughing as we shared. But instead of coming back to life, he died.

Today I felt an awakening in my soul. Something came to life inside me. I can't completely say what it was but I felt it nonetheless. It was as if I had been in a dead sleep and suddenly began to wake up. It felt like an early morning stirring, a coming to consciousness. It felt good; whatever it is, I want it to fully awaken.

There have been those times in my life when I was asleep in some part of my soul. I simply could not wake up. Like being in a deep sleep or in an induced coma during surgery, it seemed impossible to do anything but live in that state. However, through your mercy work, you gently began to shake me and I miraculously started to stir. Those initial moments started me on a new path toward mending broken pieces in my person. New doors opened, new perspectives and avenues appeared and I found myself taking new steps toward a new life. I did not die; in fact my dying condition dramatically changed and I came to life, all by your hand.

Awaken me
to your will
for my life,
O God.
Speak to me
the words
you want me
to hear.
Set before me
the path
you want me
to take.
Shine your light
so I
will follow.
Thank you
for your
glorious awakening power.

Love, Andrea