Friday, April 29, 2011

Dearest God,

"Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire!" the Bishop of London said in his marriage sermon to William and Kate. "Become what God meant each one to become, their deepest and truest selves."

Who could sit and watch the royal wedding and not hear your call to become what we are not yet, our full selves designed not by Sarah Burton but by God's own self? Who was not challenged to change and be transformed like the scripture read by Kate's brother? "I appeal to you brothers and sisters by the mercies of God to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may discern the will of God what is good and acceptable and perfect."

No scripture could mean more. None could be more helpful in living a meaningful life and fulfilling one's own marital and personal destiny than this text from Romans 12. Be transformed, St. Paul states, be transformed. Why? To enable one's self to discern the will of God.

What is life all about if not discerning your will to create a beautiful world and a people in it? Why be compassionate if one does not want to create a more perfect and loving world? Why be merciful if not wanting to participate in the full will of God to comfort, heal, help, and create a loving environment where people can grow into their deepest and truest selves?

I heard that call yesterday and I remembered once again my need to become my own deepest and truest self not because I want more for myself but rather because I want to fulfill your will for the world. And how can I do that without the capacity to discern your perfect will?

That scripture was heard by 2 billion people. Did it fall gently upon open hearts? Will we aspire more today than yesterday to be transformed so we can discern and become...yours?

O Lord,
use every avenue
to remind us
of who
you want us
to be
and why.
Open our minds
to your word
than transforms.
Teach us
to love you
and one another
so that
we will co-create
with you
in making
a marvelous world
filled with
so much beauty
that we
will hardly
be able
to look
upon it
for all
its dazzling glory,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Dear God,

How can trust become deeper than fear? How do we place our hand in yours and surrender the fear that paralyzes us? How?

Tonight we spent time with an older couple whose son, daughter-in-law, and grandson are addicted to drugs. They are so afraid for their loved ones. How can they take hold, let go, trust, and do what they can?

The longer I live the more I realize we cannot change one another. Change comes from deep within. We may help, support, love, affirm, challenge, and open doors but we cannot transform another human being. Why do we think we can?

In our need to control each other's futures, we agonize over the decisions of others to suffer, to give themselves to their lower instincts, to take side paths instead of the straight path, and to forfeit the greater plan for their lives. But then we understand full way the poor choices that lead us to dead ends and frightening places because we too have traveled that road leading to nowhere.

As we learn to surrender the fearful parts of our lives, how do we trade them for something divine? How do we realistically trust so deeply that peace can take the place of fear?

Speak to us
of your peace,
Almighty God;
show us
the way
to you.
Reveal your grace
making a path
for trust,
we pray.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Dear God,

I sat in the Benedictine monastery chapel this morning. Open and thirsty for your word, as we read responsively from Psalm 114, I had the sense and saw your word literally soak into my soul. It moved into my skin, even deep into my marrow. I guess the doors to my soul were wide open.

Sometimes I can't quite fathom your works in the human soul. I cannot wrap my mind around your generous deeds. I can't take in all that you do.

Your word sticks, etching its grace upon the head and heart. Rocks into a pool of water? Flints into springs? Your word has power giving hope, courage, and strength to the fainthearted. Why to such poor vessels?

As I consider your lavish gift, I give thanks and praise.

Thank you,
Great God,
for all
your gifts.
You lift
me up
higher and higher.
Draw me in,
Lord,
draw me
into yourself
so that
I can whisper
my joy,
my gratitude,
and my worship,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Dearest God,

How do we trust and live fully in hope even when we are dying? My second cousin, O Lord, is terminally ill with cancer. The single mother of two teenagers, her disease has robbed her of her ability to walk, see and hear. As each day ends, she draws closer to death at the age of 45. How can she be hopeful in the midst of death?

While I accept the reality that our days are numbered from the beginning, it is still difficult to watch a young person face an early death. It is painful to watch children lose a parent when they are so young. How do they remainful hopeful and trusting?

I know our trust is in you, not in our situation or dilemma. I know our hope is not about living forever on earth; yet, in our fear perhaps of death, we still hang on believing that our life is being stolen away. How do we move from mistrust to trust and hopelessness to hope?

Source of All Good,
energize us
with faith
that sustains us.
Teach us
the lessons
of life
reminding us
that hope
and trust
are not
like the
morning dew
that dissipates
with the
morning sun
but rather
are like
the promise
of tomorrow,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Monday, April 25, 2011

Dearest God,

I had wanted to have Caroline and Johna to dinner before we left for Maine but I just did not see an open time to do it. But you brought the gift to us when they came to church for Easter and my husband invited them to join our family for Easter dinner.

As I worked in the kitchen I could hear Harold, Caroline, and Johna talking. I remembered back, a little girl who used to come into my church office and write messages on my black board. She called me Strange Lady and I called her Strange Girl. For ten years we wrote silly messages to one another. I watched her grow up.

Johna has a wonderful smile. She is an incredibly talented violinist wanting to play professionally in an orchestra. Working to get her master's degree in music, she has a wonderful gift to offer.

The whole family, father, mother, and daughter are gifted musicians. Sharing their talents with the church has always inspired me. I recall many Sundays when we hugged good morning, shared some crazy story out of our busy lives, and then worked together to lift up your name through song and word.

Although we have been apart for quite some time, these three people are among those I carry with me every day. I have discovered that there are those people who quietly move into our hearts and remain with us every day of our lives. The Smiths are three of those.

Thank you
for friendships
that go deep
into our souls.
Thank you
for Larry,
Caroline, and Johna.
Thank you
for the richness
of their faith,
their talents,
their gifts,
and their love.
Thank you
for drawing
us together
for eternity.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, April 24, 2011

My dearest God,

Easter morning is my favorite morning of the year. I almost always step outdoors into the spring-life weather to listen to the first song of Easter, the song of the birds. With rapt attention I stand silently so I can hear the joy of resurrection sung by the birds who would have been the first to the grave of Jesus. Only one year did they not sing at my home. I listened and listened but I did not hear one single sound from the birds. I was so disappointed but then when I arrived at Bethel United Methodist Church to prepare for our sunrise service, there was a choir of birds singing the Easter song.

Last night one of the choir members shared her disappointment that this morning we would not be singing one of her favorite Easter songs. When she mentioned it, I too was disappointed but not for long. She gave me an idea. I knew immediately what I was going to do.

This morning I awakened at 4:00 a.m. Because I had so much cooking and preparing for our Easter dinner to do, I tried to go back to sleep for a few minutes but I could not so I prayed for churches and pastors all around the globe before getting up. I walked into the kitchen, took my medicine, went to the bathroom and then descended down the steps into the basement. I grabbed one of my grandmother's old hymnals and then climbed the stairs, walked through the hall into the kitchen and finally outdoors. Because there was a drizzle of rain coming down I stood under the overhang and listened. Just a few birds sang while I closed my eyes to enjoy the moment. Then I opened my hymnal and joined the singing, "Low in the grave He lay, Jesus, my Savior! Waiting the coming day-- Jesus My Lord! Up from the grave He arose, With a mighty triumph o'er His foes; He arose a Victor from the dark domain, And He lives forever with His saints to reign. He arose! He arose! Hallelujah! Christ arose!"

O God,
Everlasting Father,
Wonderful Counselor,
to you
all glory
and honor belongs.
Let us sing
your praise
all the days
of our lives.
Receive our joy
and devotion
as we
lift it
to you.
Truly, you are
the light
in the world.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Dear God,

We had to sing for an Easter service tonight. While I find it meaningful to walk Holy Week with you in an intentional way recognizing the pain of Easter Saturday night, I had to make an adjustment in my spirit to interrupt my Saturday evening thought. I am glad I did.

With all the pomp and circumstance of an Easter celebration, our choir joined the procession down the center aisle to the cross and over to the choir loft. It was somewhere between the altar and my choir seat that I had an unusual sense of the presence of Dr. Martz, a deceased friend. In seconds I was aware of Geri, his wife, also deceased. Within the next few minutes several special friends, all former members of Calvary who had died like Florence and Al, Reid, Winifred, Bob, Hazel, Grace, to name a few, were profoundly present in the sanctuary. At first, I was a bit unsettled and then I smiled. On Easter why wouldn't the die rise up at least in the spiritual sense?

As the pastor preached about resurrection, I was mindful of the countless times you had resurrected me from grave-like circumstances, lifting me up from death. And then I thought of others in my churches who too had been raised from death to life, those who had been disheartened by tragedy, loss, injustice, suffering and despair. Resurrection, you whispered, happens all the time.

As we sang our anthem, And Can It Be, I thought to myself, Yes, indeed God's amazing love makes new life possible...every day.

All glory
to you,
our Risen Lord;
for you have
removed us
from the trappings
of eternal death
by giving us
eternal life.
You have
revealed
to us
the almighty power
that transforms us
from dark hopelessness
to the light
of your hope.
Lead and
guide us
into your
everlasting friendship,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Friday, April 22, 2011

Dear God,

On Good Friday I ponder the events so long ago. I wonder if the faithful lost faith even though your son did just as he said he would. Were they confused, downhearted, lost, grieving? Or did they imagine Jesus was an illusion, the promise of something that never materialized?

As I stood to sing Amazing Grace in the choir loft just a few feet below the cross, I wondered again. With all the creative imagination I can muster, I could not envision the long walk to the cross. What man in his right mind would ever believe he could save the world by hanging on a cross?

And yet, since that time in my own life I have experienced a powerful grace and love that have exploded into faith for me. Every time I gaze upon a cross, any kind of cross, I feel the blessings of love you have given me. Through healings, challenges, wise leading, companionship, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, hard questions and daily conversations, I have witnessed a kind of love that is rarely seen on earth. More than a thousand times I have been scooped up into your arms simply because I was hurting. Who else loves that much?

What gifts
you give
because you love.
I'm not worth
the cost
of your life
but you
gave it anyway.
How could
I not
love you
right back?

Forever yours, Andrea

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Dear God,

Throughout my lifetime you have provided lessons that have changed my life. I know I have not always been an easy recipient of your grace and transformation. I'm sorry. However, today during a sudden, unexpected spike in my blood pressure, I followed your leading and what a vision was waiting for me.

As I lay on the floor listening to Spirit Dreams, you came to me. "Breathe in puffy white clouds, breathe out stormy clouds. Breathe in fresh air, breathe out heavy, muggy air. Breathe in God, breathe out everything else."

During the next hour I found myself in the colorful mountains of New Mexico. The air was cool and crisp. I was alone but not alone. I saw myself on top of the red mountain close to the monastery. I listened to the Native American flute playing. I recognized it. It was your song. The song was you.

I began to dance with your song. Breathing in the sounds of peace, hope and love, I felt myself at one with you, with nature, with joy. As I slowly moved to the music, I saw Sister Kateri, a Benedictine nun whom I had met a few years before, joining the dance of faith.

What happened next brought tears. About three years ago I had bought Native American dance clothing for Sister Kateri who took it to Rome to teach women the Indian dance. At the end of the conference she gave the clothing to an African woman who returned to her homeland to dance for women suffering with Aids. In my vision I saw the African woman dancing with Sister Kateri and me. I heard in the music the call to rise in faith and the women with Aids rose from their beds and joined in the dance. They were dancing for the sick as we all were, for ourselves and others around the globe.

As we danced, one woman leaned down by the stream, cupped her hand, and drew out a cup of living water. We fed one another the life-giving water as we continued the dance, the music causing us all to be in one rhythm together, your rhythm, O God. I could still hear the call to rise up in faith. All at once I noticed more and more people joining in the dance with one spirit. So many were dancing the dance of faith, listening to the music of heaven, drinking the sacred waters. Tears pooled in my eyes and slid down the sides of my face.

As we continued the exquisite beautiful dance of your spirit, a light began to shine even more than before. From the center outward the light fell upon us all as more and more joined in the dance from seemingly all over the planet. I could hear the words again, "Rise up in faith, rise up in faith." I was breathing in the light, the music, the dance, the healing, and the love when I heard my husband whisper my name.

Nearly an hour had passed since my blood pressure had spiked. In my distress I had turned to you like you have taught me to do. Giving myself over to your spirit, I had not only decreased my blood pressure and painful headache but I had met you and all others who were open to your leading. What do I say to you?

Holy God,
your grace
is wondrous,
glorious and beautiful.
You come
to us
when we
need you,
bringing gifts
of beauty,
goodness, mercy,
and awe.
How do
we respond
to such
lavish gifts
of your spirit?
How do
we convey
our thanksgiving,
our gratitude?
How do
we show you
our love
and devotion?
How?

Love always, Andrea

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Dearest God,

When I asked you to help me keep clear of resentment because I knew resentment is the foothold of bitterness, you came to me cleansing my soul, ridding the corners of every dark and hidden enemy that sought to take me down. Your kindness not only washed me clean, you opened the doors to your gracious spirit allowing it to breathe new air into me.

A few weeks ago I confessed to my colleague that there were three people/families with whom I needed to meet at the intersection of your love and my faith in order to part company with resentment. I took steps, one baby step at a time. You opened doors; I simply walked through. I felt your gentle clearing. Only one remained.

Today in covenant group I shared a victory of your spirit. I gave praise to you for your miracle work, lavish love, and genuine grace. As I celebrated, my spiritual friend asked me about the message of the triumph as it pertained to the remaining person. As we talked letting your great spirit lead us, I realized it was time to take the next step.

You have spoken to me often about trust. You have reminded me, challenged, disciplined, and discipled me about the purpose of divine trust in human life. You have revealed to me that trust is the basis for all good in this life. You told me that I could remained hidden away, afraid to step out into the sunshine or I could take one step into the light that would prompt me to move into a life filled with hope, joy, faith and peace. You gave me choices to live fully or to wither, rot, and die. Many times I chose the latter but then you came to me again whispering hope to my hopelessness and with your help I moved on.

Today I realize there is really only one choice to make in life and that is the choice of trust, trust in you first and trust in myself. As we daily work together on that relationship my trust in others grows because you want it to be so. On this day I celebrate the many trusting relationships you have provided and I give thanks.

Thank you,
O Lord,
for your
extravagant love
and grace.
How many times
have you come
to me
bringing your
good news?
How many times?
My heart
is full
of gratitude.

Forever yours, Andrea

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Dear God,

There was a time I could only see what I could see. With a kind of protective glasses on, living in a small box, I was just able to make certain judgements and decisions. When I was blind, I learned, I lived that way.

Trusting you inspired me to take off my glasses and to move away from my restricted, limited "home." You showed me that life in a box is never a happy place, a landscape for opportunity. Living life in cramped, dingy quarters with a single teeny window will never lead a person to live the full life you intended.

Tonight I made a mistake. I hurt someone because temporarily I moved back into my tiny hut. I could only see a partial picture and that picture forbid me to see anything else. I acted upon my view and I hurt someone.

But then I did something more. I listened to a voice, a wise voice, one who was able to see beyond my simple picture and he guided me to see beyond my borders. My judgement changed and I took decisive action. I went to the person's home and began the healing process.

I have learned to trust more deeply. My days in the small places are over. Why? Because you are God and your view is always 100% clear. You are always to be trusted. You lead us to places where the view is exquisite, beautiful, and full of healing and wholeness.

Lead me
to you
every time,
Wise God;
return me
to your wisdom.
Give to me
the gift
of discernment
where I
place myself
at your feet,
trusting you
to reveal everything
I need
to know.
Help me
to say yes
to you
every day,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Monday, April 18, 2011

Dear God,

When will we sing the song of peace, dance the dance of hope? When will we as residents of the planet join the cause of harmony and charity toward our neighbor? When will we realize that the suffering of one is too many and then step forward to alleviate their pain by a change of attitude, belief, and behavior?

As I watch the nightly news and specials about evil and corruption in our nation and around our world, I am filled with sadness. When I listen to what is happening in Mexico with the drug cartels and I hear about the destruction of human life in the most heinous kind of way, I ask myself how we can become so capable of mutilating the human spirit, desirous of feeding our own thirst with the souls of others. What is up with that? Are we on the path to total destruction because if we are we won't need nuclear reactors to melt down, we will just melt down our own humanity into something grisly and bizarre in order to exterminate what is good, humane, beautiful, and sacred. When will the suffering end? When will we move to the light that shines forever?

Claim us
once again
as your own,
dear God;
rid us
of evil desires
and corrupt ways.
Remake us
in your image;
sing us
the sweet song
of grace.
Make us capable
of only love
that lifts up,
embraces, holds,
affirms, heals,
restores, reconciles
and renews.
Forgive us,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Dearest God,

There are some things the eyes can see that bespeak your loving grace. I sat in the church choir loft yesterday recovering from being sick for a few days. I wasn't feeling my best but where I sat gave me the opportunity to witness a beautiful act.

It was during the children's anthem. The kids took their places at the front, some climbing the steps to the top. One mother ushered her elementary aged child to take his place. He held a palm in his hand since it was Palm Sunday and he and his mother waved it through the song like all the other children except this child was not like all the rest. Born with terrible deformities and handicaps he does not speak. Even after many surgeries he still faces great difficulties. What I saw was a mother's tender love for her child as she placed her left hand on his back where she gently patted the rhythm to the song. When he would get a little off balance she would very lightly steady him and keep waving the palm. Never once did I see impatience, disgust, or resentment, I saw only pure love in action. I believe her left hand was your hand holding up, encouraging, affirming, and loving. It was more more awe-inspiring than the song.

Come, Gracious God,
display your goodness
for all
the world
to see.
Remind us
to look deeper,
to be patient,
to be still,
and watch
for signs
of your
great love
in your creation,
I pray.
Cause us
to be thankful.

Love always, Andrea

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Dear God,

There are so many ways that you communicate with us and to us. As I sit at my computer in my writing room preparing to write you each morning, I listen first. I quiet myself, open my ears and eyes, and then I wait for you. My waiting time is always filled with surprises.

Generally the first sound I hear especially in the springtime is the call of the birds, first one and then another. I love to hear the chatter as they speak and respond to one another. Sometimes I hear the roar of an airplane flying overhead or a train rolling by a couple blocks away. But quickly I hear the sound of your voice as it comes to my mind with a thought, a question, a doubt, a wondering, a statement of faith, or a concern. Only then do I begin to write.

Interestingly enough last week I watched a brown squirrel and black crow play together in our yard. One would try to slip up to the other and when it turned, it would fly or run away. In seconds the other one would turn to chase its friend. Back and forth I observed them going after each other, making sounds that both seemed to understand.

I think that's what you want with each of us. I believe you engage us in conversation, wanting to allow for some kind of interplay where we relate to one another, feel connected, and exchange thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I believe these high moments are powerful reminders that you are in touch with each person in one way or another. You breathe out the truth that we are not alone, that no matter our situation however exquisite or horrific it is that you are with us.

Thank you,
O Lord,
for daily touches,
for conversations
that teach us
about the realities
of life
and the promise
of hope
you give
to us.
Continue, I pray,
to speak
and help us
to listen
for your word.

Love, Andrea

Friday, April 15, 2011

Dearest God,

O Lord, all the natural disasters seem worse than ever before. I know I have brought it up before but what does it all mean? Are these just random cases of the earth gone crazy or something more? Every earthquake, tornado, flood, cyclone, hurricane, and tsunami seem to be the worst they have ever been. It's almost like the globe is regurgitating the evil so prevalent around the world.

What do we tell our children and grandchildren? What do we say to them about evil and corruption, the lack of humanity from one person to another, and the abuse and misuse of the most vulnerable in society? What do we say to them?

How do we turn it all around? How do we bring peace to the planet? How do we return love, kindness, compassion, mercy, and authentic care to all your children? How do we replace meanness, faithlessness, disregard, fear-producing acts, and stone-cold attitudes, beliefs and actions before we destroy our shared home and each other? How do we stop it? How do we develop genuine, loving hearts that truly care about our neighbor and our self? Only with your grace can we achieve any kind of transformation.

Change us,
O God,
renew the face
of the world.
Show us
the way
to peace,
harmony, and
charity to all.
Time is
running out;
too many people
are being hurt.
Pour out
your love
so that
we may
use that love
to heal
one another
and ourselves,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Dear God,

Recently I started thinking about the daily rhythms of life. Like ocean waves that take their cue from earth's gravitational pull, I am wondering about the spiritual pull on an ordinary day.

I have set at the ocean watching the waves come in and go back out. I have observed the tides, high and low, as they occur throughout the day. There is a comfort, a peace as I allow myself to be caught up in meditation.

But what about life's waves? How do they work? How does your spirit inspire a flow? As the ocean waves were destined to do their part, what does your spirit do to move us into a rhythm of spirit?

As I contemplate Psalm 23 I can see a movement, a litany, a word and then a response. "The Lord is my shepherd", the psalmist writes and the human response that follows is, "I shall not want." Is this the movement you have set in motion? Is all of life a presentation, a word, a revelation and then a human response? Is the event or happening a statement that we are expected to respond to?

For example, when you provide a morning sunrise, do you give us a spiritual awareness that inspires us to faith? Does human forgiveness to a human injustice create a moment of spirit? Or a gift to a stranger's need? Is life a litany of divine action and human reply, your act in the world and our conscious, intentional comeback? Isn't this the process of relationship?

O Lord,
inspire us
to faith
every day.
Make us conscious
of your
daily work
so that
we too
may join
the dance
of your spirit,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Dear God,

Do you remember years ago when I had difficulty letting go? I remember it was late Autumn. The trees were releasing their leaves and I didn't want them to. I wanted them to hang on, to stop. I recall watching the last leaf drop. I cried.

Right now my cousin is watching her 45 year old daughter, single mother of two teenagers, die. Her cancer returned and is sucking the life out of her. Helen told me that you are more ready to take her daughter than she is ready to let her go. Is it true?

Please, O God,
help those
who are dying
and those
who are
watching them die.
Give us
the means
and the courage
to surrender,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dear God,

How do we truly give ourselves to the flow of life? How do we trust in both the hills and the valleys? How do we ascend and descend when life changes come? How do we trust the seasons of life?

Sometimes I fail to tell you how much I trust and praise you while I am on the mountain. I forget to say thank you for the many gifts and blessings you provide every day. Often I am on my face in a puddle in the valley before I utter the words of trust asking for help or guidance of some sort.

There are moments when I am sure my thinking is clear, my judgement correct. I make decisions based on what I know, what makes sense. Yet, when I come upon an obstacle in the middle of my road, I want to move it knowing that it is in my way. At times the object may be a small pebble I can kick to the side of the road. At other times it is what seems an impassable mountain. In those moments I am not sure what to do. I may try several ways to move it, climb it, walk around it, or even to blast it but many times it appears that the obstacle has a message for me. The point of it is to speak and for me to listen.

It is true there are times when I think I know best. I may look at different angles and think I have figured it all out but then I realize I don't. My way is not always the way or maybe it is; I just have to pause, listen, surrender to your will, and then take the step provided for me.

O God,
teach me
once again
how to trust,
how to listen,
and how
to live
in your will.
Lead me, Lord,
to living water.
Place a ladle
in my hand
so that
I will drink
from your well.
When I
am refreshed,
open my mind,
and inspire me
to do
your will,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Monday, April 11, 2011

My dearest God,

I was in a bad storm last Saturday. I was headed for a funeral in southern Indiana when the skies turned really black. The winds picked up. When the rain began to fall, it cascaded in sheets. Within seconds the hail fell pelting the car. I was in unfamiliar territory. I was on winding, twisting roads in the middle of nowhere. I was afraid.

At first I found shelter under a stand of trees but when the hail became bigger and the winds more fierce, I knew I had to move to safer ground. I got back out on the road driving slowly trying to find a place of safety. Finally I pulled into the gravel parking lot of a small business. There I sat trying to wait out the nasty storm.

The storm did pass and just an hour later the skies changed from gray to blue. The sun began to shine, the temperature started rising, and the white puffy clouds returned. All was well.

As I reflect now upon the scary event, I realize there have been many times in life when storms brewed and I was frightened. Sometimes those storms included conflicts that lasted more than an hour or two. Dark clouds lingered for a long time. It took what seemed forever for the disturbance to pass.

Yet what I have learned in every situation is that there are times when I have no control whatsoever. In those moments I have to ride out the storm, rely on you, crying out to you for help, guidance, and comfort. When I suddenly discover I am not alone, you activate my faith and I find hope, strength, and courage. You guide me to take steps that generally include trust, confession, negotiation, and resolution. You show me several ways that the conflict can be handled. You point out my own error but give me ways to change, to transform. You remind me that forgiveness always plays a part in resolving any difficulty. You show me the way providing security for those moments I feel afraid. You ask me to trust you and follow your lead. As I listen and humbly obey, the storm begins to break up and the sun begins to peek through. No matter the difficulty you unveil the way to not only make it through the storm but to rise up and move on.

Help me
to always
trust you,
Great Loving God;
teach me
valuable life lessons
that require
my trust.
More than anything
I want
to trust you
for all things.
I want
to be faithful
in my
life journey.
Make me
a life pilgrim
filled with
your spirit,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Dearest God,

How do you know our heart's desire? How do you create the environment for an answer to prayer?

I have longed for a return to the family farm. I wanted to walk the rooms where love lived, welcoming family, friend, and stranger all the same. I wanted to breathe in the memories, perhaps catching a glimpse of the past.

Today we traveled the hour drive to the hospital to spend time with my ailing uncle, one of my favorites. We talked about his childhood home so when we left I asked my husband if he would mind if we drove past our revered family farmhouse.

As we drove slowly by I saw a man working close to the gravel road. I asked Harold to stop. I got out of the car and identified myself. Tom took me into the house and showed me an old sign and then he handed it to me.

Over the next two hours I got my wish. I carefully stepped down the ancient, rickety steps to the old musty cellar where Grandpa used to make birdhouses. I moved to the other side where Grandma used to store all her preserved foods. By the old rock concrete shower I saw the ghost one of my cousins had drawn where we once made a haunted house.

Back upstairs I stood in the dining room recalling the dozens of African violets near the window, the buffet and huge dining room table and chairs, the antique table and Zenith radio from the 30's or 40's. I could see the homemade food lined up on the buffet and table and I could hear my family carrying on wondering when we were going to eat.

The owners took me into the front room where my father and uncles were all born in the log house. I told them stories and they asked me questions. Then we moved to the only bathroom and then to the kitchen where we had to step down a small step. I swear I could smell the roast cooking in the pressure cooker. I showed her where the hand pump used to be before they brought in indoor plumbing. I could see my aunts, mother, and grandmother canning tomatoes and I remembered sitting at the table where Grandpa read us the Upper Room devotion and prayed before breakfast.

I opened the door and stood where the old broken down stoop used to be where I sat with my grandmother breaking green beans. I looked out in the woods and caught a glimpse of when we grandkids used to explore, pretending we were George Washington and Daniel Boone. I remembered wading in the creek.

Back on the front porch I recalled the countless times Grandma opened the door to all of us, the aromas of favorite foods wafting outdoors. I pointed to the hill where we used to slide down in the winter and the place Grandma planted the truck patch that fed family, friends and needy families in town. All in all I was flooded with the sweetness of bygone times with people I loved most in all the world. As we started to leave, I told the lady that the foundation of their home was built on so much love.

As we drove down the hill and back up and made the couple of twists in the road, I gazed at the land made so happy by my grandmother's presence. I wasn't dressed properly to walk down the valley and over the slight hill to the creek to stand in the water or to lean down to smell the wildflowers growing but what I did do was breathe out my prayers of thanksgiving for the many gifts and blessings provided throughout the years to so many.

Generous God,
how can
I ever
thank you?
How can
I ever
bless you
for all
your blessings
to me?
You touch me,
inspire me,
grace me,
forgive and
love me.
You provide
so much.
I haven't
the ability
to show you
all my gratitude.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you.

Love always, Andy

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Dear God,

Today I watched my friend and her family grieve the loss of her uncle, a dedicated man with your spirit. As I observed the family walk by the casket, I saw their tears and sadness. I told the uncle's wife that I could tell that they had all loved well.

How I wish every resident of this planet could be touched by that kind of love. How I wish each person could feel that love. How I wish that love could change lives that are sad, lost, and lonely. Our world could be different, so very different.

What causes love to flow out of one and not out of another? What makes a person loving and caring? What inspires a person to reach out and embrace others? How does it happen?

In life it seems children are educated on many subjects. But what about love? Does anyone teach them about love, what it is, what happens when you are loved and how a world can be transformed by it? Where does that kind of training come from?

As our world becomes more corrupt and vicious, it is harder to become softer and softer in it. Trust is always a question and trust is the backbone of love. I am concerned about the trajectory of evil and how its fingers stretch to break so many. What do we do, Lord, what do we do?

Make your
love plain
in the world,
O God.
Fill each
of us
with your
divine love
so that
our hearts
will be full
of compassion
and mercy.
Let not
one person
be void
of love.
Teach us
how to love
like Jesus.
Assemble our DNA
with precious love
from heaven,
I pray.
Please, dear God,
break down
the elements
that create
hatred and bitterness.
Refashion us
with the ability
and desire
to love
our neighbor
as ourself
reminding us
that we need
to love ourself
as you
love us.

Always, Andrea

Friday, April 8, 2011

Dear God,

How large can love grow? Sometimes I am so filled with love that I can't imagine it growing anymore.

When I was pregnant with my second child, I couldn't imagine having enough love for her because I loved my first daughter so much. Yet, when she was placed in my arms for the first time, I was full of love for her. It happened again when I gave birth to my third daughter. And then grandchildren...I could not conceive of loving them so much. Yet, I did, I do. I discovered there was love to go around but how?

I came to love your church long ago because the church was your own love child. I loved it because I loved you. Still do.

Will my well of love fill and overflow forever?

I have love
because you
loved me.
You gave me
the ability
to love others,
including myself.
Let your love
flow through me
to those
you call me
to love.
Teach me
how to
love more
so I
can give more,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Dear God,

How long does love last? When we lose a loved one, does our love, their love continue even into eternity?

My friend lost her uncle. My cousin's daughter's brain cancer has returned. My elderly favorite uncle has pneumonia. Twenty five thousand are dead in Japan. Does love last forever?

Although my emotions can waffle, go high or low, even feel interrupted at times, I know I can return to you knowing your love for me is intact. Why do I think that? It makes sense.

It is clear to me that divine love is not a hit or miss. It is not inconsistent; otherwise, it could be here today and gone tomorrow or this afternoon. Your love is real, authentic, and always available and accessible or it is not. It only makes sense to me.

Because I believe human love is a dimension of divine love, I wonder if human love holds forever? Or does it have a shelf life of say 100 years, more or less?

As I consider my own love for my family, friends, and others, I wonder if my love is capable of holding on even into eternity. Will I love my grandchildren from heaven? Will I carry it with me as I leave this planet? Can I say to those I love that I will love them forever? Is it true?

While I ponder the mysteries of life, I rest easy in your arms knowing your love is truly sustainable, day in and day out.

Thank you,
O God,
for the knowledge
of you.
While I know
so little,
I am grateful
to be
your friend
knowing your love
is the bond
that binds us.

Always, Andrea

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Dear God,

In light of all that is going on around the world, are we becoming a more cranky people? Are we blaming and judging more and taking responsibility less? Are we always searching for someone to be the cause of our problems rather than contributing to something better for ourselves and others? Are we more anxious and unsettled by global conflict, natural disasters, unnatural disasters, the kind we create ourselves, economic instability and dwindling resources?

In worrisome times what do you want us to do? Pray more, relax more, get involved, give to our communities, offer grace and love one another? Will that do it? Will we change the course of world-wide suffering?

In biblical times you told your people not to worry. I realize worrying does nothing to help because it leads only to more anxiety but what do we do? Lean back and eat, drink, and be merry? How do we alleviate pain?

Show us
the way
to hope,
refuge, grace
and loving care,
O Lord.
Teach us
the way
of compassion
and mercy.
Forgive us
when we
become numb
and disinterested.
Help us
really care
for our neighbor
no matter
who they are.
Make us more
like you,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Dear God,

In the last few days you have shown me that an open heart, an open mind, and an open soul can create fertile soil for learning, hoping, and experiencing life. Openness allows for infinite possibilities.

On the other hand, closed hearts, minds, and souls shut the door to whatever. Closing the door means I don't trust. I don't believe in a renewing power to make life good. I am not willing to change. I stop the flow of what life is meant to be. Closed simply means closed. I am stuck with myself the way I am, trapped by circumstance and choice.

Throughout my lifetime I have lived in both camps. I have closed myself off from life. When I place myself in a tiny box, it is dark, hopeless, sad, and tight. I feel like I am suffocating, getting smaller, and I begin regurgitating my problems again and again. I am unhappy and locked into whatever emotions I allow myself to possess inside like blame and judgement, disappointment, anger, sorrow and despair. The walls drip with self pity, hopelessness, and condemnation. Who can possibly heal in that kind of wasteland?

The other camp is so much better. As I open myself to you, I am enabled to once again see the light of day. I can feel the gentle breeze of your spirit. I can breathe easier. Because I am no longer bound, I am free to move about, to try new things, and to surrender, to let go of decaying beliefs, attitudes, and past choices that held me. I can trust you to help me trust me and others. The landscape looks different when I step outside my cave.

As I have explored my open world, I have seen the riches I have gained. Now, joy has a hold on me. I can laugh easily. Peace is a river inside my soul. Faith has a chance to leap tall, scary mountains, to maintain during life storms, and to pass through desolate valleys. I am equipped to explore new lands, to go on spiritual adventures, and to be creative. Life is good even when it is difficult.

Open me daily
to your
wondrous grace,
O God;
teach me
to utterly
trust you.
Motivate me
to discard
the tiny boxes
that I
sometimes choose
to enter
because I
don't trust enough.
Let your light
perpetually shine
upon me
so that
even when
I walk
through the
valley of death,
I will
not fear
the darkness
but turn
to see you.
Keep me open
to you, Lord,
and to all
your will
for me,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Monday, April 4, 2011

Dear God,

There is much to be said for forgiveness. No one has taught me more about the topic than you. As I have found myself time and again at the base of your cross, bleeding, sorrowing, and feeling guilt, shame, hurt and anger, you spoke to me of the finer points of forgiveness.

You have shown me that forgiveness is the perfect choice over unforgiveness. Through the many experiences of holding on to disappointment, pain, despair and animosity, I picked up other nasty emotions like resentment, bitterness and the desire for revenge. At first, there was a gentle gnawing but later they began to eat away at my soul. Often, sometimes several times a day, I would think about the infraction, the betrayal, abandonment and loneliness and I would feel the pain all over again. Once unforgiveness took hold, you showed me, it not only damaged the good part of human living like hope, peace and joy, it began to destroy the natural abilities of surrender, letting the spirit flow through mind, body and soul, and opting to grow in faith, knowledge and wisdom. Simply, unforgiveness robs the soul of trust that leads to healing, wholeness, love, and grace.

Forgiveness cleanses like nothing else. All the yucky stuff dissolves. The sun begins to shine once again. The senses are renewed allowing the mind to think good thoughts, the body to dance and and the soul to sing.

Forgiveness gives second chances, third, fourth, fifth, etc. New life is made possible. The past is gone and the future is made secure. The present is filled with possibility.

Forgiveness gives new perspective. It helps us to regain strength. We are enabled and equipped to fight the good fight, to look at life from different angles, to make assorted choices, and to laugh again. Because we can see what we could not see before, we are not weighted down and burdened by the past but rather your spirit lifts us up on a mountain of grace.

Forgiveness does not erase the happening that lead us to make our decision not to forgive. Injustice is injustice. Sin is sin. We make mistakes. We get hurt. We hurt others. However, the happening does not have the power to hold us down forever. By your grace we can get up and walk again.

Thank you,
thank you,
thank you
for the
many times
you have
forgiven me.
Thank you
for opportunities
to forgive those
who have
hurt me.
Thank you
for joy
that returns
and peace
that calms.

Forever yours, Andrea

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Dear God,

Do you make us part and parcel of one another? Do you place in our DNA the ability to weave others into our lives? Is it possible?

Today my daughter and I returned to East Main Street Christian Church in Elwood for worship and a meal. The last time we were there was 27 years ago when I served as their youth director for 21 months at which time I was invited to serve another church closer to my seminary.

Several people at the dinner told us we had made a difference in their lives and in the life of the church. How could that be, I wondered, in so short a time? A couple of others told us we did not just pass through their church but had become part of the fabric of their lives. Jenni and I knew what they meant because they had touched us so deeply with their love, friendship, care, and grace. They took us in and made us family. My girls and I did the same.

Like a carefully put together photo album, we turned the pages remembering events, happenings, and experiences we shared together. We laughed especially when they brought to our mind the time I went to the church late at night to practice my sermon on the PA system. I was a student and felt the need to rehearse several times to build up my confidence. It was about 2:00 a.m. when I heard someone trying to get into the church. Within minutes the pastor and police came walking down the hall and entered the sanctuary where I stood at the pulpit. "What do you think you're doing?" The pastor asked me. "Just practicing my sermon." I responded. "To the whole community?" He asked. Apparently I had inadvertently flipped on the switch to the outside speaker and I had been preaching to close by residents for over an hour. The proprietor of the local tavern had called the police when one of their patrons who had drunk way too much came running back into the establishment crying, "The rapture's coming, the rapture's coming." Everyone at the dinner remembered the incident and I was once again embarrassed to death. But we laughed and laughed just like we did the first time.

After many hugs and promises to get together before another 27 years passed, we drove away giving thanks for family that surely had woven themselves into our lives at a time we needed family and they needed a silly student who simply loved them.

You are
so generous,
dear God.
You care
about every detail
of our lives.
You give
us opportunity
to tarry
with special people
and then
while we
aren't paying attention
you slip
them permanently
into our beings.
How happy
we are
for your kindness
and agape love.

As always, Andrea

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Dear God,

How can one manage fear? How do we allay our own imagination of demons that want to get us?

Fear is seducing; it attacks our mind in the middle of the night swamping us with unknown noises, doubts, and images of creeping goblins. These alien thoughts do tricks with our whole person robbing us of peaceful sleep.

Even though my daughter had had two sleepless nights already, she wondered if she would sleep last night so I stayed at her home while her husband was away. I remembered what it was like to be afraid in the dark.

What happens to us, Lord? What makes the night long fraught with fear? Why doesn't faith do our battle for us? Why do we think that faith can help us in some ways yet not in others? Why can't we trust you in every situation in life?

Let the obstacles
of fear
teach us
the lessons
of faith,
dear God.
Show us
the way.
Whisper to us
the hope
of heaven,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Friday, April 1, 2011

My dearest God,

Can a miracle for some become a miracle to others? Or are miracles only for the open-minded?

My husband and I continue to live your miracle. You touched us with a vision, a hope, a promise and a new life. We took hold of it and have the joy of living it every day.

Why do some want the miracle, hold it dearly, know its source, and celebrate while others refuse to believe? Why are some cast down by it? What makes a miracle for some and not for others?

Open us
to your
living presence,
I pray.
Teach us
the way
of trust,
complete trust
that paves
the way
for whatever
you will.
Open us
to the greatness
of your grace
and love.
Inspire us
to want
what you want
and then
make us
open to receive.
Let praise erupt
in us
spilling forth
your glorious peace
to others,
O Lord,
so they too
may experience
the glories
of heaven.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Dear God,

Time is moving swiftly by. In a few months I will be 65 years old. It seems each day passes more quickly than the last. Is that really happening or am I just experiencing it differently?

I look at my children and grandchildren and see their growth, even the aging process. I wonder when my children suddenly grew wrinkles. Where has the time gone?

I have always loved the Ecclesiastes passage that states there is a time and season for all things like birth and death, being happy and being sad. Yet, there is part of me that wants to say, "Whoa, slow down, can we spend a little more time on this rather than that?"

If faith is all about trusting you in every situation, then I know I must trust you with time. I know I have to be willing to live each day and then surrender it as I lay my head down on the pillow for sleep. I have to release the day knowing I may or may not have the next day.

I realize I cannot stop the process of time. I cannot prohibit my children from growing older or make my grandchildren stop adding a year on their birthday. I cannot disallow death or daily dying.

So what I pray for is the ability to capture the best of each day as I am living it. I pray for a greater appreciation for the gift of 24 hours. I pray for the desire to live each day as you would have me live it. I pray I will give more and take less. I pray I will be thankful for every blessing, for both the good and the bad because even the bad can present opportunities for blessing. I pray I will love more, forgive more, show more compassion and mercy and live as though today is my last.

Make my soul
like ocean waves
that take
their cue
from you.
Wash me ashore
when it
is time.
Pull me
out to sea
when the time
is right.
Cause me
to live
life's daily rhythm
always in tune
with your
divine will,
I pray.

Love, Andrea