Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Dear God,

Today I return to gratitude.  Why?  Because gratitude gives me perspective.  When I have a mindset of thankfulness, I scan life around me to view my blessings.  A simple sunrise, a grandchild's smile, a husband's peck on the cheek, one person helping another, an unexpected surprise, a whiff of spring air, anything can be a perceived blessing.

Secondly, gratitude gives me joy.  A spirit of thanksgiving keeps a smile on my own face.  I feel happy, joy bubbling up inside.  I have pep in my step and hopefulness in my soul.  My attitude is good and my ability to handle disappointment even better.

Thirdly, gratitude gives me opportunity to turn my sorrows, injustices, and disappointments into gladness.  I begin to look for what is good in difficult situations.  When I act on faith in you, I realize I am not alone.  I acknowledge my pain and listen for your encouragement or just wait for your love to be made manifest in my spirit.  When I open myself to you, your light shines in my darkness.  No longer can it hold me captive.  The light shines giving me hope.

Finally, gratitude gives me a better way to live.  When I live each day in gratitude, I am ready for the day knowing there is much to be thankful for. All I have to do is look around, anticipate it, and then grab hold when it comes into view.

Generous and Loving God,
thank you
for the gift
of life,
for all
its possibilities.
Thank you
for your love
which is constant
and steadfast.
Thank you
for your
living presence
which is
reason enough
for gratitude
to take
permanent root.

Love, Andrea

Monday, February 27, 2012

Dear God,

More and more I realize how faith can connect people together.  Like tiny dots on a page, faith can stretch its fingers from one person to another, linking them in a most beautiful way.  Although it's a great mystery in many ways, what I do know is you are the power behind the connection.

For years I have led women's retreats.  I have watched your power move from Friday night to Sunday morning as women made discoveries, received insight and truth, embraced your grace, and found a godly love that manifest itself in faith.  I have observed the development of a sisterhood where women, strangers at some level, formed a family, affirming one another, supporting one another, and urging growth, courage, and strength. I have witnessed faith at work when these same women became leaders in their churches and communities.  I have seen women overcome fear, grabbing hold of life in a brand new way.  I have seen Christ appear again and again as women ministered to one another when the realities of life were so painful, their suffering so deep, and their losses incalculable.  Your love was palpable in incredible ways.

I am confident that faith can indeed move mountains because I have seen mountains torn down, stone by stone.  I have seen raging rivers give way as a brave woman of faith took the first step and kept on going as she crossed to the other side where hope awaited her.  I have seen the chains of oppression drop as women reached out to freedom and breathed clean air for the first time in a generation.  Faith.

Generous God,
no one cares
for us
like you.
Every day
your love
reaches out
to us,
reminding us
how faith
can lead us
to healing,
beauty, acceptance,
forgiveness, mercy,
and yes,
even to laughter
and joy.
A life
with you
is faith
made real.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Dearest God,

Many years ago you told me that silence is not just the absence of sound but rather an invisible world where your visible spirit is much alive.  You told me not to be afraid because I was.  How do you travel to this place and not fall off the edge of the world? I asked.  You laughed and told me the spiritual world has always existed, full of truth, color, hope, possibility, challenge, and love.  You urged me to step into this world with the whole of me and you said I would not be disappointed.  I didn't completely understand; yet, I gave myself to silence in a way different than just turning off the sound.  You were right; I found something so beautiful, warm, inviting, hospitable, and loving that I learned to trust it right away.

Silence has been an answer to my cluttered mind and soul.  It has welcomed me in peace and showered me with pictures of hope.  It has provided an open door to wonder and sometimes even merriment.  It has always given me an opportunity to move from where I was to a new place where hope was the mover.  It revealed to me a gentle power that enabled me to see myself in the light of mercy.  It also showed me the sides of truth that before I was not able to see.  It provided courage, a raw, bold strength to change myself which often transformed my situation.  Silence has drawn me closer to you and to the potential of faith in all of life.

God So Full of Mystery,
your love
woos me
to your side.
Why would
I not want
to step forward?
Teach me
to keep
myself open
to the movement
of your spirit.
Help me
to dispose
of all
the static
I create
when I
am resistant.
Gentle Spirit,
thank you
for our
pilgrimages together.
They are
by far
the most
beautiful times
of my life.

Yours, Andrea

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Dear God,

I have come to realize that faith is based on a thin layer of trust. I trust what I believe, what I see, and what I perceive.  Through a variety of personal experiences, teachings of trusted people, and beliefs about the bible and the characters of the bible, I live in faith.

I wake up in the morning feeling gratitude, the same gratitude I went to bed with because I live in faith.  I get up believing that I live in a world where you are a loving, living, powerful, and friendly presence.  I pray because faith tells me you care, you listen, and you answer prayer.  I am not silly enough to believe that I simply tell you what to do and you do it but rather prayer puts me in an attitude of faith, helps me care for others, and gives me a way to act in the world.  I am made a better person because I pray.  I become a more faithful person because I come to you as an act of love and obedience.  The word obedience doesn't bother me because I would expect to be devoted to One whose love created and creates more love in the world.

My faith increases as my awareness of you in the world deepens.  When I walk with open eyes, I see the wonders of love all around me.  Yes, I see evil and darkness and the like; however, my faith whispers to me that light always has the final word, no matter the condition.  When I listen with open ears, I hear the sounds of faith, the gush of love when one person helps another.  Faith develops daily as I trust in you to ultimately lead me in my daily living.  Faith grows richer when I discover how you have been in the daily turns and twists in my life and in the lives of others. When I live as a faith-filled human being, I am acting on the trust I find in you.

Forever grow
my faith
in you,
Glorious God;
let the gift
of your
Son's love
daily reach me
so I
may reach others.
Teach me
to be
more faithful
to your purpose
in human living,
I pray.
Teach me
to trust you
more and more.

Love, Andrea

Friday, February 24, 2012

Dear God,

The gifts of your spirit still WOW!  They provide us with joy overflowing, connections that are eternal, and love that grows before our eyes. 

Tonight our eleven-year-old granddaughter Gabrielle came to visit.  She had wanted to spend time with her grandpa and me so we invited her for a sleepover.  After greeting her at the door wearing my giant orange sunglasses and pink princess party hat, we began our evening of laughter, teasing, singing, eating our favorite spaghetti and cheese, (a four generation favorite), and watching our favorite old movie, Trouble with Angels.  All during the evening I watched her thinking what a beautiful gift she is, especially that she still wants to spend time with us.

What I realized is the way you bring joy into our lives.  You have made my family naturally witty.  We all know how to act silly and laugh like crazy.  We enjoy each other's company and we celebrate how each generation loves embracing the craziness from the generation above them.  Whether wearing silly hats, dancing crazy, playing invisible musical instruments to country songs, poking fun at one another, cheating at board games, or creating stories with funny characters like Sally with the Limp, Dr. Bo, Rusty Faucet, the queen who serves tea and cookies constantly or Sally's first husband who ate too many twinkies and exploded leaving a mess on the walls, we have so much fun together. 

As I think about our granddaughter, I realize how blessed we are with joy, a special relationship and plenty of love.

Great God,
thank you
for your
many gifts.
Thank you
for our granddaughter
and the joy
we feel
when we
are around her.
We are grateful.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Dearest God,

When a friend asked the question, "How are you going to spend your Lent this year?", I answered, "I am going to spread seeds of joy".  As I reflected upon my commitment, I looked around to find all kinds of opportunities awaiting me.  By day's end, I realized that the seeds I had shared during the day did not empty my well of joy but rather added to it.

I am amazed by the mystery of faith.  Surely it makes sense that giving something away means that the pot is being emptied but in the case of faith, love, hope, or joy, the pot is still being filled even though some is being shared with others.  What an astonishing truth!

As I give away joy to others, I am reminded that my joy has come from you.  My ability to receive it and acknowledge it as a gift has revealed to me how faith really works.  You give joy to me and I receive it and I give joy to someone else and they receive it but then that same joy circles round and comes right back to you and to me.  Faith is like that too, isn't it!

Great God,
thank you
for the mysteries
of faith.
Thank you
for insight
and revelation.
Thank you
for your
many gifts
and the way
they keep on growing.
Thank you
for love
that underlies
every gift.

Always, Andrea

Ash Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Dearest God,

Tonight as we sang Just As I Am in the worship service, I traveled back in time to 1969 when I knelt on the cold, hard, black tile floor in the living room of my first home as George Beverly Shea and the Crusade Singers sang the same song.  I was so moved by Rev. Billy Graham's message that I bent down, touched the old television set and gave my life to Christ for the first time.  At that moment I realized I wanted nothing more than an abiding relationship with the Creator of the universe.  I wept, singing, sad that I had waited so long (22 years) and so happy that I had many more years in front of me.  I could not have imagined then what my life would be like today some 43 years later.

I believe there are those times in life when we are vulnerable to your spirit, when it just makes sense to surrender a life without you for a life with you.  Those moments are etched upon the human soul and can be brought up at any time, allowing the majesty of the moment to reenter our space so it is possible once again to celebrate and give thanks. 

I am sure there were times, O Lord, when you must have wondered if I would truly hold steady to my commitment to you.  I am confident that sometimes you wanted to turn me around and steer me in another direction when I was clearly going the wrong way.  I am positive that you never waivered in your commitment to me while I acted as if I had forgotten my commitment to you.  As I stand 43 years blessed, my heart is glad and my soul is full of joy.

Wondrous God,
thank you
for never
giving up
on me.
Thank you
for holding me tight
and never
letting me go.
Your grace
has truly
been sufficient
for my
every need.
Lead me,
Loving Savior,
down every path
that takes me
to you.

Love always, Andrea

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dear God,

What causes one person to harm another?  What is the driving force that motivates a person to destroy another?

Recently I read several stories of parents killing their children. I do not understand.  What kind of evil, hatred, bitterness, or sorrow causes someone to intentionally impose pain and suffering on a child?  What is it?

I look into the eyes of children and all I see is beauty.  How is it that others see something else?  Why do they want to break their spirit, take away their innocence, and rob them of life?

In the right circumstances are we all capable of hurting others?  Is there some flaw, some DNA error, that gives us a predisposition to strike out against another? 

Like clay
in the
potter's hand,
refashion us
to lovingly care
for one another.
Restore, reconcile,
and renew us
to be compassionate,
understanding, and merciful.
Teach us,
your way,
O Lord.
Bless the children
of our world,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Monday, February 20, 2012

Dear God,

When I awakened this morning, I heard your voice bringing forward a negative habit of mine.  One sentence reminded me of a prayer I prayed asking you to help me become positive.  I realized I had slipped into old ways and I was disappointed in myself.  However, I was reminded that you do care about the way we live our lives.  If we live below your standards, we are not our best self.  You come to us with the truth teaching us that we can rise from where we are to where you know we can be.

If prayer is anything, it is a request to change.  When I come to the realization that I am still carrying my sin (whatever it is at the moment), I know you are calling me to be transformed.  Although I am ashamed or sad because I have fallen, I am always glad your voice is the voice I hear, the voice of love and acceptance but also the voice of conscience and challenge.

I am grateful that you do not leave me alone.  You are constant in your attempt to remould my life.  Your love always holds me and your grace forgives me but I am expected to trust you, to surrender my will to yours, and to walk the path of faith...every day.

Speak and
I will listen,
Compassionate God.
Show me
the way
of joy
for a life
with you
will always
lead me
to goodness
and mercy.
Take me
in your hands
and make me
what you will.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Dearest God,

This morning I smiled as we sang the final song at church.  Lord of the Dance is not one of my favorite songs but it did elicit images that delighted my soul.

About sixty years ago I wanted to dance but I thought I was too fat.  I carried that thought for 45 years.  But one day after my breast was removed with cancer, I found myself imagining dancing with you in the universe, among the bright shining stars.  I saw you and I dancing, leaping from one shining star to another.  Those pictures gave me courage especially when you whispered that I could do it, I could dance.  And so after preaching one morning, I unzipped my robe revealing my dance clothing, the choir started singing and I danced to faith's song.  Aahh, what refreshment filled my soul; I was dancing heaven's song.

The last song of the worship service coupled with that extraordinary vision brought me a message:  It is never too late to join the dance.  We can enter at the beginning (always the best time to start) or at the end or anywhere in between.  You invite us to join you in the dance of life.  You give us your spirit.  You breathe your breath upon us enabling us to live and move and dance.  You change our inertia to an energy that gives us the ability to do most anything meaningful with you.

Breathe upon me,
upon us,
Living God;
inspire us
to dance,
to step
into the partnership,
to enjoy
the most
wonderful relationship
available to us.
Move us
to dance
into life
with you.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Dearest God,

Last night I went to bed with faith.  This morning I woke up with it.  I walked with it all day long. I  let faith interrupt my thoughts when I thought about sliding. 

This afternoon I watched the testimony to faith of musical wonder Whitney Houston who had a dog-eared bible and a pleading prayer.  I recognized again the power of faith to lift up, to lead forward, and to help when threats are all around.  I realized that we can stumble and fall again and again.  We can turn and walk away.  We can forget and choose to believe it is not enough.  But faith will lay claim on us one more time when we cry out to you.

I used to think I had to be perfect, that life had to be perfect.  I thought I had to lead a perfect life, be a perfect wife and mother.  I thought I had to be a perfect house cleaner, a perfect person in every way.  But those thoughts, I finally had to acknowledge, were not faith's words.  It took years to let go of that inner voice who tried to defeat me but how sweet it was when faith picked me up and spoke, "Oh honey, God's waitin' for you.  Give him your hand.  Take a walk and discover the best life you're ever goin' to have."

Every day I get to acknowledge you as Lord of the universe.  I get to listen to eternity sing her glorious song.  I get to let your spirit infuse me with life, real life, the juices of heaven.  And I get to walk wherever I want with the Creator who designed the cosmos and then let me roam in it with God's hand.  I get to carry faith and let it carry me for all time and I want to.  I really want to!

Wondrous God,
will my heart
overflow with gratitude
every day?
Will I
find faith
the greatest gift
every morning
when I awaken?
Will I
stand strong
when my world
is shaking
and it wants
to toss me about
and throw me down?
Will I
trust you
to guide me
to joy
so I can
spill it over
to others?
Will I?

Love, Andrea

Friday, February 17, 2012

Dearest God,

The six hour ride home gave me a beautiful opportunity to count my blessings.  I thought about my time away with friends and the meaningful time we shared together.  I thought of my husband pining away for me (well, maybe not pining but certainly looking forward to my return after several days), my children, grandchildren, and friends.  I looked upon the horizon as the sun was setting and I thought of how many of those beauties I have I had the chance to enjoy.  I thought of faith and its tempting power to overcome the ills and ails of human living.  I thought of love and how many times its arms have wrapped around me.  I thought of a young woman who recently asked me to be her spiritual mentor and the amazing steps she is already taking toward healing and wholeness.  I thought of laughter and how it has danced in my heart the last few months, especially the last few days.  I thought...all the way home.

I realize that faith is not just a belief system with attitudes, practices, and rituals.  It is a living breathing reality of hope, relationship, acceptance, love, and joy.  It exists 24/7 and serves as a transforming agent not only in personal lives but also in families, churches, and communities.  Faith is about one hand taking the other and walking through life to paint an exquisite picture of peace.

O God,
how I love
our times together!
Thank you
for the
spiritual adventure
of faith.
I am grateful
for the time
to look
at all
my blessings,
to revel
in gratitude,
and to
give thanks.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Dearest God,

Your words are sweet.  Your love is overwhelming.  Your kindness is forever.

Today I realized once again how good you are, how you provide holy sustenance every single day.  You come breathing your holy spirit upon me and I am energized, filled with joy from on high, and strengthened to live my life in your light.

As I visit with my friends from so long ago, I smile giving thanks.  Can you see it?  Can you see my smile smiling back at you?  I am confounded by the infinite number of ways you come bringing joy.  This beautiful time with my friends has served to fill me with gratitude both for their love and friendship and for the way your love drives me to joy.

God So full of Love and Mystery,
receive my love
and devotion today.
My gratitude too.
You are God;
there is none
like you.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Dear God,

I found that love can exist between friends for decades without seeing one another.  Today love welcomed me in to my friends' home.  The smiles on their faces caused my own smile to form.  How wonderful it was to find our way home to one another once again.

I realize that love is truly a gift.  I don't know how you create love or how you make it grow.  I only know it has a living quality much like yeast when added to a mixture.  It begins with a friendship and over time it increases.

At the end of the day I turned out the light and prayed, giving thanks for a beautiful day, for sharing funny stories and meaningful remembrances, and for love that never went away.

Generous God,
how grateful
I am
for your love
that has
so much power.
You ignite love
in us
and then
cause it
to multiply
even before
our eyes.
You stir
in us
inspiring us
to not only
love you
but one another.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Dear God,

Most days I cannot fathom the way love can grow.  Just when I think love has increased to its highest capacity, it expands beyond those lines.

Today I felt my own love enlarge.  As I looked at my husband, I realized how his has stretched as well.  Our love together has evolved in amazing ways.  I believe our ability to grow our love has come from the pot of golden love made in heaven alone.  Love swells as we trust in you to make more love available.

As I consider the quantity and quality of your love, I am overwhelmed and grateful.

Loving God,
thank you
for making
love available
to us all.
How grateful
I am
to be loved
and for
the ability
to love others.

Always, Andrea

Monday, February 13, 2012

Dear God,

How open, trusting, and flexible do we need to be in order to participate in your plan for our lives? When things begin to change after many, many years, how do we recognize your desire to reshape us and refashion the work we do for you in the world?

Those were the questions before us as we brainstormed ideas for the future of the Sisters.  Their hospitality, love, dedication, and faith have welcomed many of us in for decades.  They have helped give shape to new forms of faith, love, self differentiation, affirmation, and renewal to thousands. 

But the winds of change are blowing and we are reluctant to let go of what we have known in the past.  The sisters are growing older.  Many are dying.  There is just a hand full left of those able to make decisions.  Something must be done in order to continue the ministry of retreat before they will have to silently and prayerfully close their doors.

How open, trusting, and flexible must we be in order to be remade in your hands?

Open us
to the
deepest trust
available to us,
Gracious God.
Put us
in your hands;
make us malleable
so that
we are willing
to be remade.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Dear God,

Today I learned there is power in a song to help us build greater foundations of faith.  Early this morning I was inspired to leave the arms of my husband in a wonderful romantic weekend getaway to drive 30 minutes to sing with our church choir a beautiful rendition of the great hymn How Great Thou Art.  I had looked forward to blending my voice with the others to sing your praise.

"Then sings my soul..." we sang, but in my heart, I was proclaiming my own faith in you.  I couldn't help  thinking about your greatness in my life and I wanted to sing out not only my belief in you but also my love for you...how great thou art!"

Let me sing
a song
of praise
to you,
O God;
let me
lift up
your name
for all
the world
to hear.
Take all glory,
Great One,
let the
heavens sing,
Glory, Glory to you,
Wondrous God,
how great thou art!

Love, Andrea

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Dearest God,

I watched from the 15th floor of the Westin Hotel as the sun began to set and the crosses atop spires of St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church became emboldened in the dark sky.  Although taller buildings tried to take center stage, the crosses stood as a magnificent symbol of your presence in the world.

I never have to look far for a wondrous display of faith.  Sometimes it comes through beautiful architecture but it can come through nature, its marvelous sunrises and sunsets, the mountains rising higher and higher into the sky, or a mountain stream following its natural route bubbling up over rocks and craggy areas.  But it can come through music, art, or poetry.

I saw it this evening at a fundraising event for a local women and children's shelter.  I watched and listened to the story of a single mother of four who courageously fled with her children to the local shelter after 18 years as a victim of domestic abuse.  My own faith was strengthened as I heard how she grabbed hold of faith as the driver to provide a better life for her children and herself.  As she trusted you and herself more, she climbed out of a destructive marriage, went to college, and began to live a dream that only you can give.

After the event as we returned to our room my husband and I held one another by the window overlooking the church reminiscing how the cross had changed us, our relationship, and our love for one another.  My heart nearly burst with gratitude, appreciation, and faith.

Merciful God,
your compassion
never ends.
Your grace
never empties.
Your love
never runs dry.
The signs
and symbols
of your
living presence
are a
constant reminder
of faith
at work.

Yours forever, Andrea

Friday, February 10, 2012

Dear God,

This morning I awakened to a question:  Who is welcome to come to your altar?  As quickly as the question came, so did the answer.  Guilty souls dragging their sin behind them, crushed souls carrying their broken hearts in their hands, happy souls singing their alleluias, and even doubting souls with their questions and wonderings.  Everyone is welcome at your altar.

I believe the invitation to your altar is the greatest gift you can offer us.  To know we are welcome as we are, whatever our thoughts or condition, repentant or not, you invite us in, is a wondrous thing, mind boggling really.

As I consider the times I have appeared in your house of many offerings, I remember the miracles I left with, the healings, the hopes, the help, the mercy and compassion.  I have never come to your altar and left empty handed.  I have learned to trust you to draw me, to woo me, to appeal to me.  Every time I discovered new truths and insights, sometimes so beautiful and good. At other times I have observed my own failings.  But always you reached out to me with grace.  Gratitude filled me up to the brim.

And so today as I ponder the wonders of faith that give me access to your altar, I just want to say thank you once again.

God So Full of Love and Grace,
my heart floods
with love
and appreciation.
Let my gratitude
be a sign
of my faith
and trust
in you.
Take it
as a symbol
of my love
and devotion.
Make me
ever ready
to come
when you call.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Dear God,

As I entered the monastery chapel my eyes were drawn to the shadow of the cross on the back wall behind the altar.  Even as I walked to my seat I fixed my focus on the shadow.

For nearly a quarter of a century now I have engaged in worship with monastic communities of faith.  Without exception I have observed men and women, monks and sisters, wearing the shadow of Christ's cross.  I have been wooed by faith to those whose search for Christ is a daily pilgrimage.  I couldn't help but wonder if others saw the shadow of the cross on me.

Do I wear a visible sign of faith, dear God?  Are others interrupted for even a moment in their daily activities when I pass because I carry the shadow of the cross of Christ on me?  Oh, please, dear Lord, do not get me wrong; I am not lifting myself up.  I am not pointing to my own person.  Rather my important question is this:  Do I point others to you by carrying the shadow of the cross of Christ?  Do persons around me see even a glimmer of your face?

If the faith journey is one where we walk the walk and talk the talk of faith because we willingly carrying the shadow of the cross upon us, then it seems an authentic relationship with you could be noticed by those around us.  My life has been touched, warmed, challenged, discipled, and graced by many who have carried the shadow of the cross.  They have all helped give shape to who I am in faith.

My grandmother was the first to carry the shadow, at least the first one of whom I was aware when I was a child. Through the years my travels have led me to churches in persecution in the Soviet Union.  I saw them glowing in faith.  In Africa, the Ghanaians radiated with a divine joy.  The prayer warriors at Calvary have worn the shadow, Edith, Florence, Grace, Aldith, Frances and others.  I can just think of them and I see your son.

That shadow of your cross on the wall at the monastery is a powerful symbol of your living presence in the world and I can't begin to thank you for all those who willing carry the shadow as a sign of of faith today.  For without them who knows, perhaps I would be a 65-year-old woman without faith.

You are
the hope
of the world,
God of Mercy,
God of Grace.
Let your light
shine brightly
on all
who carry
the shadow
of the cross
of your son.
Let me be
to others
as those
radiating your light
have been
to me,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Dearest God.,

In my daily search for you, I am led to familiar and strange places.  I am never sure where I will find a visible sign of your living presence; yet all of my senses are on heightened alert because I never want to miss an opportunity to revel in the awareness of your company.  Will my eyes point me to you?  Will my ears pick up a sound?  My touch, will I feel you; my taste, will I taste of heaven?

Today of all things my Christmas tree spoke to me of you.  Yes, I still have it up because I love the Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany seasons.  Why should I take it down in January when I am still enjoying the wonder and mystery of your coming?  Today as I was removing the tree ornaments, I smelled the fragrance of pine and that took me on a quick trip back to something I read once.  It sort of goes like this, "Forgiveness is the sweet scent the flower gives to the foot that has stepped upon it."  At that moment I sensed your presence as the giver of forgiveness, grace, and mercy.  Joy filled my soul as I closed my eyes and took in a strong whiff of pine giving thanks for every sense and every gift.

Living God,
the sound
of your name
touches my soul
deeply.
I am grateful
to be
in relationship
to you.
Thank you
for all
the human senses
that powerfully
keep me
in touch
with the world
around me.
Thank you
for ways
to reach you.
My heart
is full
of love
for you.

Always, Andrea

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Dear God,

I remember 37 years ago today when I gave birth to my third child.  As I enjoyed dinner with my daughter and her family tonight I looked at the birthday girl and I remembered and gave thanks.

I recalled just a couple of weeks ago in a retreat circle lighted only by 100 candles when my daughter shared the value of her faith, how you had inspired her life, and how I had been part of that metamorphosis.  I watched her this evening as we prayed together, each of her children bowing their heads as her 4-year-old Rylan offered the prayer.

I thought of the gift Jill is to her family, to those around her, and to me.  In my mind I reminisced her struggles and her overcoming them largely by faith in you.  I celebrated the power of your grace at work in human life stretching us beyond where we are to where we can be and I breathed a prayer of thanksgiving for my daughter.

You are
the power
of love,
Gracious God.
You strengthen us
by faith
and then
give us
joy incomparable.
Thank you,
thank you.

Love, Andrea

Monday, February 6, 2012

Dear God,

Joy is spreading, O Lord; your joy is spreading!  The retreatants took to heart the kind of eternal living joy I shared during the retreat. 

Never before has a retreat taken hold like this last retreat.  The topic of joy seems to have spoken to the women seeking another experience with you.  They allowed it to capture their imagination, their heart, and their spirit.  In so doing they embraced what you have to offer every single day.

What boggles my mind is your deep desire to fill us with what is good, helpful, wholesome, and holy.  You want to touch us with love and grace that change us, instilling us with the capacity to be loved and loving.  You want to rearrange our DNA to include joy that can penetrate every part of us.  I believe you want us to see our human potential the way you see it.  You want to wipe away those parts of us that are harmful like self loathing, judgementalism, resentment, bitterness, negativity, and a bent toward living a lackluster life.  You want us to be full of your joy!

As I stand to the side watching the retreatants, I realize once again how you have inspired women who are hungry for you and I am glad, so very glad!

Gracious God,
full of joy
and loving grace,
thank you
for your
miraculous spirit
that moves
among us humans.
Thank you
for the capacity
to be touched,
motivated, and inspired
by your movement
in our lives.
Thank you
for every gift
and blessing
you bring
to us.
And thank you
most of all,
for your power
that tilts us
toward you.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Dearest God,

"I will hold the Christlight for you in the night-time of your fear..." we sang together at church.  Words from the Servant Song spoke powerfully and at the same time gently to me.  How many have held your light for me in my own dark space?  My grandmother, my Sunday School teacher, my high school typing teacher, Faith at Work participants, my neighbor, churches, the Carmelites, my covenant group, even Beryl, Nancy, and Susan as they play the organ, piano, and violin.  How blessed I have been to see the light from a distance come up close.  I could make a long list of people, friends, family, and even strangers who have held the light bringing you nearer to me.

But then I can also think of places who in their quiet settings radiate the light of Christ like Grandma's house, the River Jordan, Carmelite Monastery, the Abbey of Gethsemane, Christ in the Desert, Assisi, St. Joseph Retreat Center, the Wadi Kelt, St. Peter's Church in Rome, Ankaase Methodist Faith Healing Hospital, Taize, the Russian Orthodox Church, Church on the Cape, Benedict Inn and so many more.

The light shines brightly in the brilliant sculpture of the Pieta in St. Peter's and the wondrous painting of the Sistine Chapel.  But also at the grave sites of Isaac Watts, Michelangelo, Galileo, and Susannah, John, and Charles Wesley.

I see your light in the Holy Communion, the baptismal waters, and spiritual direction rooms...I could go on and on because in the worship experience this morning I suddenly realized how bright the light shines always for those whose eyes are always searching...searching for you.

Great Light of the World,
thank you
for shining
your light
not only
on me,
but the
whole world.
Thank you
for all those
who carry
your light
to others.
Thank you
for eyes
to see you.
Help each
of us
to brighten
our world
with your light,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Dear God,

I have learned that it is better to meet you first rather than second, third, fourth, or even later.  When I get up in the morning, go to the bathroom, take my medicine, and then come to you when writing my letter, I move easily into your presence considering the many ways you have entered my life on any given day.  On the other hand when I choose to read the paper, think about work that needs to be done, fold clothes, empty the dishwasher or do other chores, my mind gets scattered.  I am quickly distracted. It is then more difficult to allow my mind to freely wander discovering the many blessings you have afforded me and then write my daily letter to you.  I confess that today I did several things first.

At times I am not very disciplined.  It is not that I forget but rather that I choose something else.  I fail to make you first.  I choose to make you wait for my attention and my affection.  Oh my goodness, I don't even like hearing myself say those words.  I make you wait...why do I do this?

I have a habit that is hard to break.  I operate from a belief that I need to do my work before I can play or do what I really want to do.  I learned this and adopted this practice as a young child and I never changed it.  At that point I was a dutiful child but now as a 65 year old adult I am often driven by this same belief.  I don't give myself much room for play.

My favorite thing to do is spend time with you.  I love to sit with you, dance, play with ideas, laugh, count my blessings, or take spiritual walks where I learn more about the world. love, faith, hope and more.  I love getting excited about what you offer like music that transports me into the heavenlies or visions that enable me to grow or an idea for a retreat or a new insight that deepens my faith. Yet, too frequently I choose to spend my time elsewhere.  I often fail.  I failed today.  I'm sorry.

Lead me
to new truths,
Compassionate God;
show me
the way.
When I
am tempted
to give away
my time
with you,
ring a bell,
send a message,
hit me
with a
lightning bolt,
(please be gentle)
or challenge me
in a way
that brings
me home.
Thank you
for understanding.

Love, Andrea

Friday, February 3, 2012

Dear God,

Rolling in laughter with grandchildren has to be one of my all-time favorite things!  A few years ago on a mild, rainy July 4 night I began weaving a silly story for my grandchildren who were getting bored sitting in the car waiting for the dark clouds to pass so we could watch the July 4th fireworks.  Sally with the Limp, Dr. Bo, the queen and her two bored princesses and Sally's sweet mom were born.  Since that time the characters have increased and shared more funny experiences.  My grandchildren still beg to hear more.

This last Monday night I stayed overnight with my grandchildren so I could be with them while my grandson had minor surgery early the next morning.  I told Gabrielle, 11, that a great tragedy had occurred when Sally's husband had eaten too many twinkies and had exploded leaving eaten twinkies all over the dining room walls.  After a proper grieving period Sally went on a cruise and there met and married Prince Luffapump Faucet.  The prince adopted Sally's boys naming them Red Faucet and Sted Faucet.  My granddaughter and I imagined later children being named Lee Key Faucet, Drip Ping Faucet, and Rusty Faucet.  Well, we rolled in laughter until nearly midnight on a school night.  When she got up just a few hours later to get ready for school she was still laughing.

I tell you all this, dear God, because the ability to imagine, create, and laugh comes from you.  I am sure of it.  Allowing our minds to wander, to imagine and create funny stories has to be a healthy exercise.  While we are very mindful of never making fun of real people or wounding anyone with nasty comments, our characters are simply crazy characters who do very funny things.  Leading my grandchildren to laugh instead of worry about their brother was nothing less than a gift from you.

Ever-Caring God,
thank you
for the opportunity
to release
worry and anxiety.
Thank you
for joy
that comes
from taking
one of
your many gifts
and allowing it
to fill us
with your peace.
You really are
a compassionate
and loving God.

Always, Andrea

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Dear God,

Our writing room is a renovated screened-in porch and as such I look out over my contemplative garden complete with a bird feeder hanging from a branch on our 12' serviceberry tree.  Right now I am watching a magnificent red male cardinal feeding.  What a beautiful scene!

The bird did nothing to provide the seed; yet it is there for him.  Without physical food sources, the bird would starve and die.  So is it true with spiritual food.  If there was no spiritual food for me, I would wither and die.  Yet, daily you replenish my stock and I am never found wanting.

The natural world supplies so many object lessons.  I see a bird feeding and I recall to mind how it is you feed me.  I look at the stars, the moon, and the skies and I think of how much beauty you bring to this world and then I am afforded the opportunity to acknowledge all the beauty you offer me.  The smallest things can hearken me to pause and remember just how much you give me and then my heart fills with gratitude.

O Lord,
rich in gifts
and loving presence,
thank you
for the lesson
this morning.
And thank you too
for filling
my soul
with grateful thanksgiving.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Dear God,

"God, you are my God, and I long for you."  We spoke together from Psalm 63 at the Benedictine Monastery liturgy.  "You are my God," I whispered again, "and I long for you."  There is no line, no sentence that more ably speaks to my feelings in this world.  I love my husband; I love my children and grandchildren.  I love my friends.  But there is no one I love more than you.

I have learned that my ability to love comes from you.  I can love more when I rely on your well of love.  I can dip into your well at any time and have more love to keep for myself and to share with others.  But not only that, your special kind of love keeps me loving you more.

When I reflect upon the saints that have inspired me like St. Francis of Assisi, St. Therese of Lisieux, and St. Bernadette of Lourdes, I find they longed for you more than any other.  Their love for you and others is like an overflowing fountain that never runs dry.  The way they continue to model love after so many centuries calls me to a new level of love in my own life and I am so grateful.

Keep me
loving, Lord;
keep me
loving you.
Remind me daily
to love you
and others
near and far.

Always, Andrea

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Dear God,

You have shown me how the lack of willingness to be changed can lead to resentment, bitterness, and a lackluster life.  But the desire to be transformed by your hand can bring great rewards. 

The barriers we erect when we fail to trust you to change us can grow larger day by day.  As such more and more obstacles can appear thus making the way to you and others much more difficult.  As we stumble and fall, scraping away the goodness in our own lives, we fail to experience the loving grace you have for us.  So much time, energy, faith, and love are lost because we are too stubborn to take your outstretched hand.

As you know all too well, I have lived in both places.  My own bitter heart kept me from a full life for a long time.  There may have been reasons to feel the way I did but those reasons did not make for a better life.  It was only when I trusted you utterly that the obstacles and barriers began to crumble and collapse making the way toward healing and wholeness.  As I trusted you the reasons for my pain and sorrow began to change as I did and so did those around me.

Today as I reflected upon the relationships I now have with family members both in my own family and in my husband's family, I realize once again how your loving power can change anything for good.

Thank you,
Gracious and Loving God,
for all
your many gifts
and blessings.
Every day
I am reminded
that a
life with you
can lead
to a
grand fulfilling life
but a life
without you
leads nowhere wonderful.
Daily help me
trust you
so that
I may
not miss
one day
without you.

Love, Andrea