Monday, August 6, 2012

Dear God,

Bending the will, I am ever learning to bend my will.  This one issue is my life's greatest challenge.  Bending my will to yours or even to another when it is the right and good thing to do is sometimes very difficult.  And why?

Sometimes, O Lord, bending my will feels like a threatening act.  When I think I know something, when I think a certain way is preferred, or when I want something in my own mind, I have difficulties letting go, surrendering my own will.  At times when I am required to bend my will, I perceive I will become vulnerable, exposed in some way.  I feel afraid, unarmed, thoughtful of being at risk or harmed.  I imagine all kinds of things happening if I bend.

That is when you come to me.  You tarry a while showing me the benefits of a life lived in the light by faith.  Yes, you reveal the fact that I am exposed, the light does that, but trusting you to guide me to a new step, a new stage, a new challenge, a new direction, a new thought, a new hope means allowing that to happen because you have your hand upon me.  I do not have to give in to fear when the Master's hand holds me.  It is in such moments that heaven's door opens and I see eternity's glorious light.  When I recognize what your love and grace is willing to do for me, I fall to my knees, tears well in my eyes, and my whole being feels ashamed at my lack of trust.  But you don't leave me there in a pile of shame, rather your light warms me, you help me stand, and together we move forward.

Living God,
thank you
for the truth
that sets
me free.
Please forgive me
when I fail
to listen
or to follow.
Put steel
in my spine,
resolve in
my mind,
and faith
in my soul
so I
am ready
the moment
you call me
to bend.

Love, Andrea