Saturday, February 26, 2022

Dear God,

Only you know the level of bitterness in my heart.  You asked me to make a list, to make it real and visible to me.   You asked me to name the people, the cause of the bitterness, the length of bitterness by days and the price I thought they should pay.  As I began to write, my heart became sad and I realized what it was you wanted to happen to me.  

Today you whispered, "You cannot have war in your heart and peace in your soul."  I realized what you were doing and tears formed in my eyes and dripped down my cheeks.  I recognized the deep depths of your love and your desire for peace in me.  

Is there

no depth

you will 

not go

to love

your children

to healing

and wholeness?

Only you

will go

with us

into the

depths of 

our souls,

O God.

There you

dwell with us

in our hurts

and our sorrows.

You allow

our tears

to flow,

beginning the release

and reconciliation

of our soul.

Love always and forever, Andrea

Friday, February 25, 2022

Dear God,

This afternoon as you and I sat together at the well of living water, a picture came into my mind.  A miracle really.  I was listening to the song It is Well with My Soul.  The picture was and still is a very frightening one.  

I was in remote New Mexico on a personal retreat when I fell ill with stroke-level high blood pressure.  My head was exploding and my vision was blurry. With the only vehicle I had to drive 30 miles to pick up other friends on retreat.  I knew I needed to be at a hospital getting treatment but with no way to communicate with my pilgrim friends, I drove up to the retreat center.  Along the way I pleaded for mercy and help.  When I arrived at the center, one look at me caused them all to jump into the car and begin praying silently.  During that ride, you sang to me and the words I will always remember are these:  "Though Satan should buffet, thou trials should come, let this blest assurance control, that Christ has regarded my helpless estate, and hath shed his own blood for my soul."  

Never were there sweeter, more healing words than those.  And you, you, my Savior, you sang them even unto me.  You did not let me go.  You did not call me home.  You saved me and I will never forget you, never.  Like you never forgot me.

Blessed are you,

Kind and Loving God,

who saves

like you?

No one.

My heart

is yours,

forever and ever.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, February 24, 2022

Dearest God,

I was just listening to a beautiful instrumental rendition of Amazing Grace.  As I sang the lyrics in my head, I was struck by the words, "I once was lost but now am found." I thought how can we possibly know the great value of being found if we have never been lost?  

That sent me on a journey back.  Oh, yes, I know lostness.  At times when I wandered, when my heart was broken and I could not see my way, when I wanted to walk away from this life, you came to me.  You wrapped your warm arms around me.  You fed me from your table.  You gave me drink from your well.  You lifted my heart.  You pointed me to heaven.  You gave me yourself.  In the finding of you, I found me.  Oh, yes, I know what it means to be lost but more than that I know what it is like to be found, truly found.

Thank you,

Wondrous God,

for the

amazing gift

of your

generous love.

Thank you

for not

forgetting me

when I 

was lost.

Thank you

for finding me

and keeping me.

Love always, Andrea

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Dear God,

How will the world ever know peace if we do not treat one another as sisters and brothers?  If we look at others as if they are enemies, we will always attempt to conquer and justify.  We will break down our sense of unity and oneness.  What then will we have?

It seems evil is winning, corrupting, destroying and tearing apart.  Why?  Why, Lord?  Every human is yours, created by you in your image.  You called each one into being.  You even named us all...beloved.  How then can beloved strike out with the intent to hurt another?

There are victories

we cannot win

when our intent

is to wound,

hurt and destroy.

We are broken,

flawed in need

of your

recreating power.

Create in us

our desire

to love

rather than hate.

Please, O God, please.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Dear God,

It is so early darkness still claims the day.  I cannot see anything outside my kitchen window.  But I know in a few hours I will see clearly.

There are so many lessons of faith through the darkness and the light.  In the darkness I see and experience God's hope that the light will rise again.  In the light I see the beauty of your creation inside and outside my own home.  I see all you provide.

No matter whether darkness of light, you are with us reminding us of your living presence.  We need not fear or feel alone.  You are with us.

Holy God,

you made us.

You gave us

your light.

But you 

also gave us

the darkness.

In both

we find you.

Love, Andrea

 

Monday, February 21, 2022

Dear God,

We never know when you will speak to us or what or who you will use to be the speaker.  This morning it was the altar on the spiritual path.  I planted moss and flowers leading to it.  I made a cross with stones right up to it.  This morning as I walked the spiritual path, I saw that it had been uprooted.  The wind had blown the old tree over.  Apparently, it has been dead for some time.  

So, what does that have to say about my own spiritual journey?  There is no doubt I am in a time of transition.  You have made it perfectly clear that there are some noxious elements in my life that need uprooting.  I already knew that but today's scene reinforced your message.

Your love

is deep

and wide,

O God.

You know

all about us.

You created us.

You know

when there

is something

that needs change.

You reveal

our truth

to us.

Although this

is difficult,

I feel

your compassionate hand

on my soul.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, February 20, 2022

Dearest God,

Worship changes the lines of my being.  I can be angry or sad or happy no matter; worship changes me.  It redirects my longings, my hopes and anxieties, fears and doubts.  It gives me fresh spirit air to breathe, energy for my daily journey and new perspectives.  It livens, renews and inspires me.  I feel invited, accepted and welcomed home.

Worship has the power to transform the whole of my being because my faith is the sole source of my love by and for the creator of my soul.  I feel drawn to the communal activity of acknowledging you as my significant "Other."  It gives me joy to offer up my love, devotion and praise.  Worship gives me cause to give thanks, express my gratitude and lift up prayers for the world.  It also affords me opportunity to release my worries, my sins and my poor attitude at times.  It blesses me by taking my empty soul and filling it with you.

Lord of My Life,

thank you

for worship,

that community gathering

of faith.

Thank you

for the power

of worship,

the love

of worship

and the challenge

of worship.

Thank you

for allowing me

to be part

of your life.

Love always, Andrea

Saturday, February 19, 2022

Dear God,

The wrong person answered the phone.  It turns out it was the right one.

I wanted to clean up a sticky matter.  I thought I would handle it in a particular way with one person but when another answered, I had to shift and do something else.  It was the perfect handling, not because of me but clearly because of you.  

You know what we need long before we do and you know the right answer before us.  When we take your lead and follow you, our questions are formed and our answers are made clear.  That is exactly what happened this morning.  Although I felt awkward and strained when I heard the voice, I simply fell into your arms and you did all the rest.

Thank you,

Compassionate Father,

for all

your gifts.

Thank you

for everything

you do

for us.

What would

we do

without you?

Thank you

for taking

the lead

when we think

we are

the leaders.

There is none

greater or

more loving

than you.

Love always, Andrea

Friday, February 18, 2022

Dear God,

If only we would bend like the tree branches in the wind!  Whenever a breezy day occurs, I watch the trees as they dance in the wind, moving freely with the spirit breeze.

Too often we are immovable.  We refuse to move when your spirit wind blows.  We get irritated that someone or something wants to move us.  But what if that is your wind, the wind of your spirit?  What then?  Do we want to resist and refuse?  What might happen if we became more flexible, more willing to let you move us when we need moving?  Something mighty wonderful could take place.

Loving God,

thank you

for the breath

of your spirit.

Thank you

for your compassion

that loves us 

more than

any other.

Thank you

for helping us

exchange our no

for a

solid yes.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, February 17, 2022

Dear God,

I feel a shifting going on.  For an ever-increasing time I have found myself growing more and more angry about injustices in my family, in the nation and in the world.  Daily I keep myself undone by keeping the injustices alive in my mind.  I retell the story to myself, thus scraping the wounds to make the pain continue.  Why in the world?

But a shifting is quietly, slowly taking place.  Yesterday I wished one of the perpetrator's a happy birthday and to another I wrote a nice note.  I felt good about both.  I realized afterwards that this shift was taking place.

One thing I have come to realize is that you do not want us to stay in bitter, painful places.  You want us to give you our hurts, sorrows and bitterness so you can heal them.  You want us to overcome the past, to let it go and do what we can to change ourselves.  One of the reasons our nation is so angry is because we keep ourselves that way by telling and retelling the story over and over again.  How will we ever heal with thoughts, beliefs and practices a sorry display of self-pity, judgement and one-upmanship?  Why not receive the grace, help, comfort, hope and peace you offer?

Gracious God,

I am

such a sinner.

While sin

is still sin,

grace can

help us

overcome whatever

troubles us.

Forgiveness is

always better.

Please help me

make a

complete shift,

I pray.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Dear God,

Early this morning I watched out the back-room window as squirrels ran and played on old oak tree branches.  I was intrigued by the way they leaped high up from one branch to another.  I thought of your call to us when we need to leave one branch for another.

Staying where we always feels more secure than leaving the familiar for uncertain places.  We grip those branches so tightly for fear of falling into what we perceive to be the "dark."  We simply don't want to let go.  Yet, when will we ever find "more" if we don't let go for the future?

Compassionate God,

teach us

the ways

of surrender.

Give us courage

and strength

to let go

so you

can catch us.

Teach us

to leap

knowing you

are the

safety net

below us.

Help us remember

you know

our next step

and are

already there

waiting for us.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

Dear God,

It is easy to get caught up in someone else's sin, murderers, child abusers and thieves, declaring their horrible failings but how can we judge others without looking at our own lives?  As St. Paul said to the Roman church, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."  Jesus said, "Do not judge or you too will be judged."  If I truly want to follow in the footsteps of your son, then I have to rethink my own judgmental practices.

I must confess I am hard on people at times.  I judge harshly especially those who hurt lots of people.  In doing so I set myself up as judge and jury.  I want people to pay for their sins.  But again, what about me?  Who do I hurt?  How do my actions wound others?  Why do I think I am better than the worst of the worst?  

It seems I am being called to dig deep into this need to judge.

Oh Lord,

I am sinful too.

Please help me

find my way

to you.

Cleanse me

from within

that I

may become love

as you

are love.

Yours, Andrea

Monday, February 14, 2022

Dear God,

I believe you are inviting me to take a plunge into the deep.  What that means is surrender, surrender, surrender, letting go of my will for yours.  It is always a bit scary; at the same time, it is always better.  Why do I wait so long?

How can I adequately express my gratitude to you for all you do for me?  Your living presence is with me daily.  I feel it and know it.  To have a deep spiritual awareness is an invaluable gift.  So often I don't get things right but I almost always know what you expect of me.  I am so thankful, so very, very thankful!

All praise

to you,

God Almighty.

Thank you

for all

you do

for me.

Thank you

for allowing me

into your life.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, February 13, 2022

Dear God,

The view outside my kitchen window is magnificent.  It almost takes my breath away.  I have waited all winter to see the snow fall.  Now that it is, I am mesmerized, challenged and warmed.  I love it.

It isn't just the snow falling, the birds prancing in the barren trees or the beauty of the snowy landscape, it is that it ushers me closer to you.  I sense your divine presence in what I see and feel.  I know you are in the midst of it all.  It so delights my soul for it invites my faith to deepen and widen, rising higher and higher.  You, you are inviting me deeper into your life and I, well, I am drawn inside.

Thank you,

Loving Creator,

Blessed God.

Thank you

for this

holy moment

and for your

drawing power.

Receive my

love and gratitude,

I pray.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, February 12, 2022

Dear God,

The words keep coming...bitterness, forgiveness, grace.  No matter how much I swerve or duck, these words keep hitting me in the face.  I know what they mean.  I don't have to try to figure it out.  The answer is clear before me.  Although at times I want to rant and rave, I know you know best for me.  You know what I need, what will heal me and what will change my life.  I still stomp my feet and cry out the injustice done.  Not you, in the midst of all my sad exchanges, you keep whispering forgiveness.

It is hard to create a new reality, to let judgement be yours, to follow your will and way.  While I want you and your way more than my own, it is still extremely difficult to surrender into it, to truly let go, to live on, to trust and to step into a new world you are creating just ahead for me.

Help me, Father,

to relent,

to stop

this crazy cycle

of old wounds.

Keep in

my face

whispering your words

of faith.

Guide me onward,

I pray.

Love, Andrea

Friday, February 11, 2022

Dear God,

The dirty snow is melting.  Sprigs of brown grass are appearing around the yard.  I remember when it was vibrant green; it soon will be again.

All the time I hear people complaining about winter, the snow, slush and ice, cold temperatures and soggy ground.  Like a curse at this time of year.  Do we ever stop to consider the benefits of winter?  Do we ever pause to reflect upon the ways winter brings its own kind of beauty?  Do we ever allow ourselves to go fallow like the land remembering how important rest, quiet and tending to the spirit are?  They are so vital to our soul's well-being, growth and beauty!  

I can't help but love this spectacular season.  I love the silence.  I love the cold.  I love the wonder and beauty.  I love the time to act like the trees and deepen my roots.  I love the winter because it can uplift, guide, comfort, warm, bless, inspire, help and renew us.

Thank you,

Blessed God,

for the gift

of winter.

Thank you

for causing us

to pause,

when we

allow ourselves.

Teach us

the message

of spirit winter.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, February 10, 2022

Dear God,

Your spirit is always working, always working.  Today when I called Chuck who recently lost his wife after 51 years of marriage, I deeply experienced your spirit connecting us 1,000 miles away.  As he spoke of love letters written through the years and an abiding faith to step willingly into heaven, I knew you were present on the call.

Although I had not seen Chuck for nearly 22 years, there was a familiarity, a hope and a friendship that tied us together as we mourned and celebrated Linda's life.  A half hour later I wept for the generous gift you had given me.

So much do I realize faith is a living, visible substance of life.  It is not just a set of beliefs, rituals and practices; it is truly alive just as the breath we breath.  Faith is woven inside our DNA.  It is in every part of us.  We can live it or not.  Although some circumstances that call for faith are extremely difficult, yet, it has the power of a relationship, a comfort, a lifeline, a hope and yes, even peace.

Loving God,

thank you

for Chuck 

and Linda.

Bless their family.

Thank you

for bringing comfort

to both Chuck

and me today.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, February 9, 2022

Dear God,

It is the cry of my heart..."Take us to deep, deep places where all we can see is you."  Lord, I confess my own inner battle between judgement and grace, hatred and love and death and life.  More than anything I want to rise up above the battle, the fray, I want to see heaven and find you leading and directing me higher and higher.  O Lord, I want to go to deep, deep places and there find you.

I find so much wrong with this world where people are being fed lies and they are believing them, where people believe Covid is nothing so unvaccinated, they are on ventilators lying in hospitals where they may or may not live and where politicians will do or say anything to get a vote, how can I not be angry where I see so much corruption?  At the same time, I hear your whisper that all are beloved.  How do I live in the midst of this world with hope, trust, love, grace and forgiveness?

The song Deep, Deep Places was found by a covenant friend who recommended it to me so I sing along, "Take us to deep, deep places where all we can see is you..."

Holy, Living God,

deep places

that is what

I want.

I want you.

I want you

to lift me up

so I

can see you.

But also,

Loving God,

I too want

to be loving

like you.

In spite

of all,

I want

to love

all your children.

Help me, please.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

Dear God,

With all the burdens we bear, all the difficulties we face and all the uncertainties in the world today, there is one truth that remains constant, one that offers hope and certainty and one that can give us opportunity for support, love and even peace.  It is this:  You are with us.  Just as the sun goes down and the darkness comes, the sun will rise again tomorrow.  The light will come; the darkness will not overtake us!

It is often very hard to live as if the darkness will give way to the light.  It is easier to just proclaim the darkness and then live in it complaining all the time in anxiety, fear and anger.  But that would be living a lie.  The light will come; it always does.  We may have to dig deep to find it!  We may have to look up more often than down!  We may have to take our feet out of concrete and take a step ahead.  For the light to come, we have to play our part in life.  And we can start today!

Holy, Loving God,

we are yours.

You are ours.

We belong together.

Help us

live this way.

Love, Andrea

Monday, February 7, 2022

Dear God,

No one but you can heal our DNA, our deep hurts and wounds sometimes too awful to talk about!  Today as I talked with my daughter on her 47th birthday, I listened as she said funny things and we both laughed together.  There was a time that just did not happen.

My youngest daughter was my protector.  At five years of age, she took on the role.  I was so caught up in my own hurts, I didn't recognize the awesome task she took upon herself.  That burden lay heavy on her shoulders way past time I needed protection.  Resentment and bitterness gathered around that weight-bearing burden until our relationship broke down.  It took years of self-reflection, therapy, prayer, openness and a willingness to change that she eventually found healing, hope, love, forgiveness and peace. Today I witnessed your divine work.  Your spirit breeze embraced us both as we  internally gave thanks for the amazing, astounding, loving gifts.

You are God;

there is none

like you.

Healer God,

thank you

for loving us

so much.

Thank you

for time

to make things right.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, February 6, 2022

Dear God,

Perhaps it was simply a technological problem, but I don't think so.  When I tuned in to the worship service at Second Presbyterian Church, I had a lot on my mind.  I was still angry at my husband's family.  So, I was anxious for a meaningful worship service where I could listen for your special word for me and all who would gather.

I turned the computer on earlier than usual because I do not always have great reception or speed here.  I was busy fixing dinner when I heard the choir singing, Be Thou My Vision. For some reason the choir rehearsal was being recorded.  I thought it odd because I had never seen that before.  Because of when I tuned in, the first words I heard were, "Heart of my own heart, whatever befall, still be my vision, O Ruler of All."  Hmm, I thought as I sang along.  I really didn't want to hear the choir director giving instructions so I turned it off to continue with dinner preparations.  A little while later I turned it on again and strangely enough, they were still rehearsing the same song and the words were repeated once more.  "Heart of my own heart, whatever befall, still be my vision, O Ruler of All."  I questioned aloud, "What are the chances of tuning in to the same final verse twice?"  I was beginning to think there was more at play than I thought.

Finally, when the service began, I sat down ready to worship with all who had gathered in the pews.  I listened intently when the preacher began his message.  He was about five minutes into it when I heard him preach the words, "Some say Jesus is Lord but then do not live that truth."  All of a sudden, the service just stopped.   I could see the preacher on the screen but nothing else happened.  I tried for 20 minutes to remedy the situation but to no avail.  That is when I heard you say, "You have already received what you were looking for."  

You were right!  You were absolutely right! The message was loud and clear.  You had spoken profoundly, and I realized all three "strange" moments had given me what I needed.  You are the heart of my own heart.  Things happen to disappoint, distress and perplex but you can't run away because you don't like it.  If I am going to claim Jesus as my Lord, then I have to walk the walk and talk the talk.  Faith is still all about love.

Merciful God,

the ways

you speak

continue to

mystify me.

You use

anything and everything

to speak

to us.

Thank you

again

for speaking

to me.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, February 5, 2022

Dear God,

Preparing for Christmas in February reminded me again that your birth is happening every day.  An open heart, mind or soul can open the door to rebirth in all three.

A few weeks ago, I promised a friend I would make a Christmas dinner and have presents for her when I arrived back in Maine.  Today I started that process...turkey breast, spaghetti and cheese, mashed potatoes, home-canned green beans and beets, yeast rolls and lemon meringue pie.  In my soul I felt the joy of Christmas even without Christmas music, lights and festivities.  

Although I don't need to call a special celebration "Christmas," I can live as if every day is Christmas because in some way or another it is.  "Birth" day can be any day.  Because your spirit is at work renewing, reconstructing and replenishing, we can give praise because rebirth is occurring once again.  

Holy and Powerful God,

thank you

for moments

such as

this one

to pause, 

reflect and

give thanks.

Thank you

for this

birth day.

Thank you

for every day

with you.

Love, Andrea

Friday, February 4, 2022

Dear God,

Right now, as I sit in the kitchen writing you. all I hear is the whir of the refrigerator and sporadically the caw of huge, black crows outside.  But more importantly in the stillness, I hear you.

I am overwhelmed with awe and grace as we spend these quiet, holy moments together.  Often, I ask myself why.  Why do you give me such amazing gifts, O God?  Why me?  I am nothing special; yet you are here in this quiet space of my kitchen with me.

Throughout the years I have learned to trust you.  My life is not perfect or altogether happy.  At the same time these are my most joyous times.  While my life and relationships are not what I would like them to be, I have to admit I am full of you.  Why?  Because you have filled me up with you, your presence, your love and your kindness.  What beauty I create is all because of you.  What troubles I create is all on me.  But you are here and now present.  I am full of gratitude!

Thank you,

O God,

for quiet moments

of faith

and hope

and love.

You mystify me.

You fill me.

Love always, Andrea

Thursday, February 3, 2022

Dear God,

Tonight, I simply watched the snow fall.  I turned on the front porch light and gazed at the flakes as they swirled in the wind.  I tried to find a snowflake to follow its path, but I couldn't.  

What I did notice was the uniqueness of the flakes.  Some were fat and fluffy.  Others were tiny specks.  They were all different sizes.  I loved the beauty before me.

I discovered once again how you can take a simple event and make it into a marvelous, mystical moment.  When I become aware of your action, I can't help but whisper praises and prayers of thanksgiving.  Just to know you are in the snow and the wind and the darkness brings great delight to my soul!

Thank you,

Wondrous God,

for all

the gifts

around us.

Thank you

for the beauty

of snowflakes

at my

front door.

Thank you

for all

your blessings.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, February 2, 2022

Dear God,

What greater gift is there than an awareness of your presence?  As a child I used to think you were an old man, lived in the heavens and was way far away from me.  Untouchable, inaccessible, distant, I couldn't imagine finding you near me.  I prayed anyway but was not sure anything would happen.

I don't feel that way anymore.  Your loving presence is in my breath, in front of me and behind, beside, above and below.  You are out there but you are also in here.  I do not have to cry out for you to come.  I know you are here; you are always here.  When pearls of wisdom come or great challenging questions, I know you are in conversation with me here and now.  I don't have to beg or plead with you.  

Why do you bless me with this awareness?  Some of my friends look at me like I am different, not crazy but they seem not to be quite sure of me.  They don't discount me but sometimes I feel set apart, not as a special person, just a step away.  I don't think others question what I am offering at times, but they don't always seem to understand what I am saying. Maybe I am different.

What I know is my life is wrapped up in you.  My day is filled with you.  My heart beats with yours.  And I love it!

Holy God,

thank you

for wondrous days

where we

walk and

talk together.

Thank you

for allowing me

this special privilege.

Although you know

all the

ins and outs

of my life,

still,

you allow me in.

I am blessed,

so very blessed.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Dear God,

I couldn't help but be grateful when I pulled into our driveway after 1,000 plus miles of driving.  I was weary, worn out and ready for a quick bite to eat and then to bed.  Yet, as I climbed the steps carrying my overnight bag, I whispered my prayers of thanksgiving.

The drive from Indiana to Maine is not just any kind of a drive.  It is a holy one for me.  I sense your living presence with me in and outside the car.  When I see the snow-capped mountains, the frozen ponds and rural farmland, I feel your creative spirit at work.  When the sun rises and sets, I know you are present still commanding nature to do its best.  When I am silent as I drive, I hear your voice, feel your nearness and sense your blessings.

What could I do but express my gratitude as I closed my eyes in sleep.

Thank you,

Loving Father,

for such

a beautiful drive.

Thank you

for being

with me,

helping me

and guiding me

safely along

the way.

Thank you

for the

countless blessings

and inspirations!

Love, Andrea

Monday, January 31, 2022

Dear God,

Today I drove 598 miles.  No matter in which state I traveled, no matter the direction, no matter whether gray, misty or sunny skies, I found you in the center of all your creation.  I couldn't help singing How Great Thou Art.  

Part of the reason I travel from Indiana to Maine in January is to gaze upon the wonder of your creation.  It is as if creation is singing your praise while showing your glory to all who travel.  Although I am the only one whose hand is on the wheel, I can't help looking upon all you have created.  It is all a wonder to me.  At one point I wanted to pull the car to the side of the mountain highway, cry out to all who joined me on the road and pause to give thanks together.

Hills and valleys, mountains, road and highways, cities, town, rural communities, lakes, farmlands, and tiny burgs all seem to say the same thing about you.  They each and all give praise!

Thank you,

Holy God,

for the beauty

of your creation.

Thank you

for the

safe drive

and all

who drive safely

on the highways

and byways

of our country.

Thank you

for this

wondrous winter season.

Thank you,

Majestic God,

for nature

and all

she offers daily.

Love always, Andrea