Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Dear God,

Do we trust in God or not? And if so, what does this trust look like? Is it trust if I totally abandon my own thoughts, sit down, and wait for God to act? Is trust made when I simply give up my desires and determine that whatever happens is God's will? Is trust accepted as trust if I am able to manipulate my situation just enough to make me happy, then I can proclaim that my "trust" in God is what "saved" the day? What is trust and what is not?

How much do I trust God? A little? A lot? With everything or some things? Do I believe that my trust in God will change or alter a condition or situation? Then is it my trust or is it God that transforms?

In this pre-Advent season I have several situations I need to address. Some will be hard. Some may not turn out as I hope. Some may do better than I think.

Is trust my leap of faith to deal with each issue? Will my demeanor, my love for God, make a difference? Will I take God's hand, listen, really listen to the Spirit, then act as God gives light?

Basic questions. Essential questions to faith. What role does trust play in my life? And how do I convey that trust to God, to others? How do I live it daily as part of my being? As the central force in my life?

I think of Lydia, Paul, Noah, Sarah, David, Jephthah's daughter, biblical characters who asked these same questions. Each who built a bridge of trust with God. Each who stepped forward in faith with God to make a radical decision, to move beyond trust in one's own self to a trust in Someone greater. We now study their lives, make judgements, think about how it applies to our lives.

Can, will God bring more to each issue than I can see at the moment? Assuredly. Good ideas come from God. Impossible ideas become possible when God sheds light. A tiny shift can bring a ray of light like no other.

Is there anything beyond God's control? I hope not. Or does God have a say in all things? I hope so.

Sometimes living in hope is a prerequisite for abiding in trust.

Questions.
Today I'm facing questions.
Good ones, really.
Many things are swirling
in my head.
Nothing really bad,
not bad at all.
Just things.
People, coming together
in the sight of God,
listening,
learning from one another.
If it is true
that each of us
has a portion of the Truth,
then coming together
will reveal the whole Truth.
I need others
for what they bring to the table.
They need what I have.
We need each other
for the Truth to be revealed.
Perhaps this is where trust
begins,
at the table
together.

Love always, Andrea