Sunday, March 25, 2007

Dear God,

The day dawned, shouting, "It's Spring! It's Spring!" The warm breeze coupled with sunny skies brought to mind beautiful days ahead.

But it was what was happening inside the car that drove my spirit higher and higher. My sermon would be an enfleshment of John 12:1-8. I love the story of Mary anointing Jesus out of pure devotion. As always my 15 minute drive to the church is a run-through of my morning message. Preaching without notes I need to allow the "good news" to move from my head to my heart, then to my lips. Spilling out into the car I hear the good news that made its way to my soul. Quite an interesting route!

During the week I had called to inquire about the music for Sunday. Rob told me the choir would not be singing. "Got any ideas for special music?" He asked me. And I told him about one of my favorites, Broken and Spilled Out. When I learned that he had found the music and that Lorraine would be singing it, I was thrilled. I closed my eyes as she sang and I voiced every verse in my head.

I was drawn back to 1990 when I heard the song for the first time. Steve had died at age 41. A popular school counselor and tennis coach, it was Steve's favorite song. When the soloist sang, it was all I could do to hold it together when I offered the memorial meditation to many teenagers, family and friends. I never forgot the song.

I want to be "broken and spilled out and poured at your feet" I thought as Lorraine sang. I want my life to count for something important. I want to spontaneously give gifts to God out of pure devotion. It's my heart's greatest desire.

Some Sundays are more meaningful to me than others. This was one of them, the scripture, song and baptism all called me to greater love for Christ. My heart and soul met him this morning in worship.

In the last century
some said,
"God is dead."
On my dead days
I wondered.
But a rebirth
brought the truth
to my own weary soul.
God is not dead,
never has been.
God is alive
to those open to experience it.
If a heart is closed off,
and a soul refuses to hear
the truly good news,
then God will sleep
as one of his own
wanders away.
The price of freedom.
To be fully awake to God
is to be open
to every cherished moment
that unfolds in the universe.
I will only experience
the ones close to me;
but the greater part of my life
is when I hear
God knocking at my door.
And the sight of his face
is glory itself.
Let me be broken and spilled out
for you.

Love always, Andrea