Friday, May 11, 2007

Dear God,

A crashing computer. A gummy, slow, problematic computer. A cell phone with a weak signal. An invalid telephone calling card. Lost connections. This was my life as I tried to connect with my office and nearly a dozen people as I made my way to Clifty Falls for a couple days of R and R. Needless to say the R and R hasn't really started yet. The office computer and mine do not seem to want to connect and share information. I have to call to share the bulletin contents. But the phone connections don't want to work either.

Lost connections. Phone, computer, what else? I sit here at a wooden table in the Clifty Falls Inn just inches from a life size Smokey the Bear where supposedly the wireless connection is to provide the route by which I can communicate. It's not happening. The message is loud and clear: Let go! Disconnect!

As I look out the large picture window, fog rises up from the river. A new day is dawning. I can't see clearly but I know the sun will burn it off, leaving a clear view of the water, hills, tugboats, cars, and church steeples. Do I need a little burn off!

I finally wrote you my letter in a Word document, thinking I could transfer it later to my blog. I didn't get frustrated and upset. In fact the whole thing is becoming comical. When I decided to let it all go, disconnect and enjoy my time away, something clicked immediately and I was able to send my bulletin via cyberspace. Whoa! It doesn't usually happen that quickly. Okay, okay, I got the message!!!

Your will is clear.
I know your intent.
Letting go,
releasing
should be so easy.
But no,
it's not.
I am
such a slow learner.
Forgive me,
Lord,
I want to follow,
not lead.
I want to listen,
not talk.
I want to stay
at your feet
instead of insisting
you stay at mine.
Keep me close
and attentive,
I pray.

Love, Andrea