Tuesday, December 25, 2007

My dearest God,

I held my daughter in my arms. I held my daughter...in my arms today. I waited 13 years. Reconciliation. Sweet peace. And joy.

What work you have done. What incomparable work you have done to bring broken pieces together again, sealing them with a glue from on high.

I rose from my bed this magnificent Christmas morning and brewed myself a cup of cranberry tea. I plugged in all the Christmas lights, the outdoor lights, the tree, the mantle, the creche. I lighted all the candles and wrapped myself up in my frosty blanket on the couch. My Christmas morning tradition...I gave myself to spiritual wondering.

I listened for your voice telling me of the wondrous blessings I had received this year. And I was overwhelmed with your goodness. Still stunned by the incredible transformation of my hands on Christmas Eve, I lay my head back on the couch, allowing my tears of joy to form and spill. So many, so very many blessings.

Realizing we had a breakfast at 8:00 a.m. I left the couch and snuggled into bed with my husband. Since we only had a few minutes we just talked about Christmas Eve. I wished him a Merry Christmas and then we got up to take the five minute drive to my daughter's home. I went in my Christmas jammies.

It was later in the morning when I was putting the finishing touches on the Christmas dinner when a song began to play in the living room. Immediately I dropped everything. I went to the creche, ran my hands over the face of the baby Jesus in the manger as the singer continued, "Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done. On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day..."

Tears spilled down my face as I was overcome with gratitude. This day is joyous because you gave us a Savior. Your grace made it possible. Your mercy, compassion for your people gave us Jesus. And his love, your love, welled up within me. I was truly overcome with quiet joy. Every word of the song was the Christmas message of great love and I stood with you, giving thanks. Later when the tape repeated The Lord's Prayer, I danced in the chancel, yes it was the sanctuary of my home where I danced to you.

Such quiet moments, quiet in the sense of the silence speaking profoundly, filled me with your every gift. I knew you were present in my home, had been. You were present on Christmas, filling my home with your gracious love.

It was only an hour later when my daughters and their families arrived for our Christmas celebration. A first in 13 years. Yes, 13 years. And you knew every day, counted each one. You knew how long it had been. You had comforted this mother's heart every day for 13 years. You prepared my heart, pierced it to allow my suffering to leave me. At last.

Glorious and Wondrous God,
how can I express
my thanksgiving?
How can I exhibit
what I truly feel?
How can I give you
the gift of my heart?
How?
My heart, soul and spirit,
my body and mind
are so full to overflowing
with you.
My joy is your joy.
My hope is yours.
My peace
comes directly
from you.
Everything I am,
every part of my being
is yours.
Your glory
has shined
in my home.
Your will done.

Loving you always, Andrea