Friday, February 8, 2008

Dear God,

An instant party, I put together an instant birthday party for my daughter. Thank you for grocery stores who carry cakes, ice cream, flowers and birthday cards and restaurants for food.

We had had to cancel her party two days before because it was rainy and cold and she didn't want to take Rylan out. But today was her real birthday and her husband was working so I made up a party while I drove to her house. I had already talked to her daughter and we engaged in cahoots together.

As I drove into the driveway, I could see through the open curtains that the party had already begun. When I walked in, the music was blaring with our favorite song, Staying Alive. I dropped my purse, threw off my coat and started dancing. Jill was dancing with baby Rylan. Two year old Lucy was jumping up and down and Gabrielle had her arms flailing as they were singing our song. "Dance backwards!" I shouted and we started doing special moves backwards. Singing and dancing, I remembered back to two events.

The first was the time that Staying Alive became our song. It was July 4, 2007. Jill was pregnant. We had driven to St. Ann's Church to watch the fireworks in Kennebunkport, Maine. It was cold and rainy and windy. We had made it through a picnic dinner but we were wrapped up in extra clothes. The wind picking up over the ocean made us so cold that we walked to the car. Because it was raining, they couldn't get the fireworks under way so we sat in the car, all six of us. We sat and sat. The kids got restless. So they urged me to tell a story.

In the next half hour I concocted a story that wouldn't end. Sally with the limp, Dr. Bo and the sheep, the twin princesses, a European cruise where Sally was cured and Dr. Bo's hand became withered, the princesses' mother who turned crazy and served tea and cookies all the time, Dr. Bo's healed toe jam...it went on and on. We laughed so hard we made the car wiggle. Little Lucy kept shouting, "Dr. Bo, Sally with the limp, Dr. Bo, Sally with the limp." Dr. Bo's and Sally and all their friends' favorite song was Staying Alive because they had danced to it on the cruise so we all sang it in the car. Ever since we will erupt into song or turn it on and sing and dance remembering Dr. Bo and Sally. Even two year old Lucy. What a grand time to recreate regularly.

Secondly, February 7, 1975, the day of my daughter's birth. How well I remember going to the doctor's office for a regular visit and he told me I was in labor and would give birth soon so we went to the hospital next door. I remember holding her the first time. My third and last child. I held her close and prayed her first prayer aloud.

I had made a really big mistake telling Jill when she was a teenager that she had been conceived to celebrate a marriage coming back together, then torn apart just months into the pregnancy. From that Jill had absorbed the responsibility of failure for the marriage and divorce. It took years to overcome my failure to my daughter and years for her as well.

But here we were on Jill's birthday in her home, she, her three children and me dancing and singing away like a crazy three generation family. And you smiled.

Healing,
the divine way.
You crept
into our spirits
and brought healing
to our souls.
We sang
and danced
to the tune
of your spirit.
We'll always
sing and dance
to your sound.

Love, Andrea