Saturday, July 5, 2008

My dearest God,

I heard their words once again, voices I used to love hearing. Our grandparents had each written a letter to my new nephew more than 30 years ago. My brother asked me to read them to the group who had gathered for our reunion. "...the Lord gave him to you and I want you to thank the Lord and raise him to love the Lord..." Grandma's voice, so much does it sound like her, living a life of gratitude, loving you, celebrating, giving thanks. And Grandpa "...be proud of our name. May it carry on from generation to generation. When Gabriel blows the trumpet, we will be on the front row."

I grew up with these voices, voices that urged us all to live in faith. You gave us cousins grandparents whose lives were devoted to Christ. And now we were seated in a big circle sharing our lives with one another after so many years. Grandma would have been so happy. She prayed for all of us every day, knelt down by her bed and said each one of our names aloud. "Marti, Donna, Helen, Andy..." When I heard my own name spoken to God, chills ran down my spine.

We've been a broken, fractured family for a long time, Lord, but you healed us, fixed our hearts and minds, corrected and adjusted us, making us ready for a time together, a reconciling time. And how we have laughed, teased, played games, and remembered, oh how we have remembered. Little things like hiding pies and forgetting where they were, running through the muddy stream and losing a shoe when we saw a snake, stepping on ants and upsetting the little girl next door, tearing my hose when I got a little runner and laughing like crazy, playing Pig (the silliest, shortest game in the world), my dad and uncle cheating at Rook, Helen never having to help clean up after meals and Brenda always being in the bathroom because she didn't like to clean up. Small things that set off laughter in a family who has not laughed together in so many years.

For hours we talked to each other after playing a special game my brother made up called "Name That Hughes." Fifty five family questions designed to share memories from the past. And did we share.

Not possible. This was not possible years, months, maybe even weeks ago. But through your wondrous grace and healing power, you took 57 relatives whose hearts you have softened, whose minds you have cleared, whose spirits you have released and you moulded us together once again. Miraculous and oh so wonderful, powerfully so.

The power
of love
is amazing.
We found
our love,
at least
those of us
who had lost it.
We found it
in you.
We each
had to make our way
to you
to discover it
once again.
Perhaps a love
for ourselves
as we were
finding love
from you,
picking up love
for our family.
I felt
my own heart
welling up
so many times,
more love,
more love,
and more love
for those
I had failed
to love
or was too hurt
or too scared
to love.
Too angry.
There were
no remnants,
no leftovers
of resentment
or bitterness.
They are gone now,
really gone.

So grateful, so very grateful, Andrea