Friday, August 29, 2008

Dear God,

My reservoir needed filling. I was tired in every way today, not much energy for anything. Yet, I still had ministry to do even though it was my day off.

It seems the spiritual reservoir is something that needs filling regularly. It goes down, gets depleted when I use it up. I can see it rising again and then falling when I use up my spiritual gifts.

One thing I can always count on is you, Loving Father. When I come crying to you, when I call out your name, you rush to my side. You fill my reservoir with love, grace, and living water. When my body, mind and spirit are used up, you come to my aid, refilling me.

I know what depletion means, how it feels, an achy feeling in the heart, an emptiness in the soul. I experience loss and feel a sense of hopelessness. Unless I turn to you, I fall down on the slippery slide of gloom and doom. I can't see the light. I am consumed by my own failing or my own heartbreak. When I try to regain strength on my own, I am too raw, too hurt, too disappointed, too emotionally undone to rise to the level of faith. I need you. I need to turn to you, to the Source of my life energy. And when I am consistent, when I let go, I allow your spirit to flow in, renewing me. Sometimes it takes a while; it's not an instant replenishment. I have to be patient, to wait on you. The waiting teaches me not to wait so long the next time, to turn to you daily, resestablishing myself with you. During that time I feel your lifeblood restoring me; I know who it is that cares for the deepest part of me. I know I am not alone; the slightest thought can make me aware, conscious of your presence. I know restoration is not far away.

There is none
like you.
All kinds
of cheap substitutes,
but none
like you.
You are
the power,
the source,
the energy,
the love
behind the universe.
Without you,
there is
no color,
no texture,
no pure joy.
I want
only you,
dear God,
only you.
I take
great joy
sitting at
your feet.
I learn
the secrets
of the universe,
the mysteries
of life
and spirit unfold
simply because
you chose
to share them
with me.

I remain yours, Andrea