Friday, September 19, 2008

Dear God,

Help me practice what I learned in the night. Teach me your way. It is your way I choose to live. As long as I live, may I live your way.

My prayer has so often been: Teach me your way. And what is that way, the way I ask you to help me live? It is the way of love, of trust, of surrender. It is the way of grace and mercy. It is the way of a pilgrim life, one that is always seeking, one that travels the alternative path to the American way of entitlement.

I am intrigued by the life of saints who had no sense of entitlement but rather lived the life of surrender, giving back to you always. Is their way, the saints' way your way? Did they achieve your way of life as a way to teach us?

I want more than anything to walk in the way of truth, the way of love, the way of forgiveness. Although each of these may hurt, like a knife stabbing wound, may I learn what is at stake. Is it pride? Fear? Another way of being? Letting go of someone I love? Am I being taught humility?

I know there is a price to be paid, the price of sacrifice. I may have to sacrifice a friendship in order for your truth to be revealed, for your grace to be given. I may have to sacrifice pride in order to learn the lesson of humility. I may have to sacrifice my way in order to learn yours.

Teach me, O Lord, teach me.

Your way
is the only way
for me,
dearest God.
Any other way
is a break
from the true path.
My heart
is fickle;
I frequently,
regularly
long for
my own way
rather than yours.
Help me,
Almighty God,
to long
ever more
for your way.

Love, Andrea