Thursday, September 11, 2008

My dearest God,

Seven years ago today tragedy struck our nation. It was horrible. I couldn't get my head wrapped around the pain of so many. I couldn't imagine that our nation would ever be the same. I remembered thinking that other countries had been facing horror for a long time.

Just a few years ago my daughter learned she was pregnant. What we didn't know was that not only was she carrying our 20th grandchild, she was carrying cancer in her ovary.

In both cases my own world stopping spinning. I got fixed on the pain and sorrow. I couldn't imagine stepping forward and continuing life as it was. I wondered where hope was.

But on 9/11 in 2004 baby Stella Rose was born, a perfect red headed specimen of hope. In the newspaper I saw a picture of a seven year old girl born just days after the mother lost her husband in the great national tragedy. Both children were signs that life goes on when pain strikes.

I sometimes get stuck again and I can't seem to move on. I look around for hope. And eventually I find it from the same source that provided two beautiful girl babies to mothers facing fear, loss and uncertainty.

So often you remind me that life is to be lived in hope no matter what great pain strikes. You speak your word of hope and some way, somehow you help me to put one foot in front of the other, to begin the journey again. Hope does return, pain is lessened, and thanksgiving resumes.

Most Holy God,
to you,
I owe everything
I am.
When my heart
stops beating,
when fear paralyzes,
when hope
is gone,
I turn
to you.
I am
never disappointed.
How grateful
I am
to have
a vessel
of hope
that I carry
with me
when my reserves
get very low.
Forgive me
when I fail
to trust you
for direction,
guidance
and courage.
Help me
to acknowledge
that deep within me
your love accompanies
my fear
and pain.
They live together
although I am
only able to see
the latter.
Teach me,
O Lord,
teach me
to trust.

Love, Andrea