Thursday, October 2, 2008

Dear God,

I made fun of someone today, not to their face, of course, but I did make fun. I laughed and laughed and laughed. The person will never know. I would never want to purposefully hurt another person. But I gave in to my lower nature to laugh about something someone did.

I know laughing is a good thing. It clears the cobwebs stored up in the soul, mind and body. But at someone else's expense is never good, even though the person will never know it. A chuckle started in my soul and I simply couldn't stop it. I am sorry.

What is the way of Jesus? Did he laugh? Did he get tickled by some small thing? Did he guffaw at least once? Or was he always serious? How did he handle matters that brought humor into a situation? How do I handle my own "funny" bone?

It seems as though everything in life has a lesson. I either learn it or I don't. Perhaps I pick up a piece today and maybe a few days down the road I will get another piece until I learn the full lesson. And although I may learn it, I may or may not put it into practice.

Each day even before I crawl out of bed as I begin in prayer, "Oh Lord, bless this world and all her inhabitants...", I want to wait for you, listen to your call, follow obediently. And I know that in order for me to understand that call and to follow obediently, I need to make sure of my own psychological health. If I am not grounded in you, if I do not daily place myself in your hands, if I do not keep myself psychologically healthy, then I could follow anyone, anything. I could easily be misled, become obsessed with something, lose my way and then what?

I believe I must be attentive to your way, your tenderness, your love, your challenges. I have to be careful that I don't revise your rules in order to live in harmony with my own. I have to be aware of how I am living, if I am in line with you or worshipping my own hand-fashioned god. I have to pause, allow you to make the assessment, listen. Then I have to do my own check. Is this for the greater good? Is the word meant to be harmful or helpful to someone else? Is this the loving way?

Help me discern
your voice,
O God.
Help me
tune in
to your will,
not my own.
Help me
be still,
calm
and ready
to follow.

Loving you, Andrea