Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Dearest God,

I thought the cobwebs of my soul had been cleaned out. Yet, an unexpected expectation popped up and I found myself feeling the hurt of rejection once again.

When will I know that I am finally healed of this long-time hurt? When will I finally surrender the last vestige of expectations, those longings and yearnings? I know where they will lead each time, always to the same place of hurt and disappointment that sometimes turns into anger, resentment and bitterness; yet, I find myself following that same trail back.

When will I finally learn and accept the road to trust and forgiveness? When will I be able to let go of sorrow at the same time taking hold of your outstretched hand? When will I realize I am never going to receive what I have longed for and that I need to let go of my unrealistic hope?

When, O God, when?

Deliver me
from my sorrow,
O God.
Erase the expectation
from my soul.
Let your
delicate love
flower within me
once again.
Rid me
of unwanted weeds
in my soul.
Restore me
to your salvation,
I pray.

Love, Andrea