Sunday, October 4, 2009

My dearest God,

In the 1970's I used to listen to the old time gospel music on television. As a young mother, I was drawn into a loving devotion for the God they sang about. I used to weep as I sang with them about our faith in you. I felt so close to you.

Some forty years later most of them are dead. Yet, their music lives on. More importantly, their faith, devotion and love continue to produce fruit in today's world. As I walked on the treadmill yesterday morning I sang along with the Statesmen. Every song spoke to my heart. They urged me onward and upward. They sang heaven's song.

One vision that came to me was a picture of my own broken-down self being held by angels and saints. I could see my red swollen eyes, my downward head and my limp, worn body. I saw the heaves of a broken heart. But there they were holding onto me. I swear part of my ongoing healing has come from these devoted souls embracing me in my worst despairing moments.

As I walked and sang and reflected upon that vision, I recognized the incredible power of your spirit caring for the downtrodden, the poor in spirit. What is it that Jesus said? Blessed be the poor in the spirit for they shall see God. I have gazed upon you so many times during these last few years but especially these last painful months. These devotees of all that is good, all that is beautiful and all that is loving have sung to me of your faithfulness and I have allowed your grace-filled love to fill me when I was empty.

The longer I walked the stronger I felt as I gave praise for healing that came to my broken heart when I trusted in you. In my pain I held onto your hand building my faith one breath at a time. Your blessed faithful assisted me as they held up their burdened part of my soul.

What can I say to express my gratitude? How can I thank you for saving me? I could sing your praise until my death but that still would not be enough.

Thank you,
my God,
for rescuing me
from the
darkness that sought
to devour me.
Thank you
for your sweetness
that loved me
while my life
collapsed at
your feet.
Thank you
for grace
that cleanses
and purifies
my soul.
Thank you
for reopening
the windows
and doors
to my heart.
Thank you
for energizing
my spirit
once again.
Thank you
for embracing me
when I
felt the love
of my life
die away.
Thank you
for sustaining me
in every trial.
Thank you
for breathing
your spirit breath
into my
lifeless body.
Thank you
for returning
my joy.

Love always, Andrea