Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Dear God,

Is it possible, Lord, to purify and cleanse the soul of unwanted harborings? Like the woman who swept out the demons, can I make permanent a spiritual cleanness before seven other demons rush in?

I know life is static, dynamic, ever moving; yet, there are some emotions I carefully laid back hoping they would stay in check forever. But then something happens and they are right back in my face.

Sometimes I get angry over words said, massaged truth, exaggerations and fabrications. The truth is always better. No need to throw words in the air and then when they fall, change them around to one's own liking. I am not afraid of the truth. It is the truth that I seek. But when I have to deal with the complications of someone else's words, I get angry.

But anger does not wear well on me. By nature I am not an angry person. I just get tired of the injustice. But then you know that, don't you?

Do things come up, happenings, wrongdoings, and breakdowns in relationships so I will keep sweeping the rooms of my soul? Is the purpose to be aware, conscious of the inner compartments so I can be sure I am doing the spirit's work? Perhaps I would forget that I am a partner in the cleansing process if all was well. I could get caught up in the spirit's whir without taking responsibility for my part. I could get lulled into believing that others are always wrong and I am always right, thereby acting smug and arrogant only to add more dirt to my soul's house. Before I know it, my house would need a major overhaul.

Our conversation this morning reminds me that your love for me is deep and wide. You provide situations where I will learn life lessons. You do not want me to tuck away resentments. You want them out of my house altogether. Resentments always draw bitterness to themselves. Without realizing what is happening, my whole house could be full of unwanted debris. And I know the work is always harder when my house overflows with crap.

Of course, I must come face to face with life. I must deal with life's disappointments because they will arise. However, you have given me great resources to handle any matter that suddenly appears, even those things that happened a long time ago but still fester inside me. Your love urges me to come clean, to let go, to release the negative thoughts and emotions that sometimes take hold of my inner being. You want more for me than a dusty old room where the windows to my heart are covered for fear of being hurt again.

Wisdom,
that rich
old friend
still speaks
to me.
You are wisdom,
Gracious God,
you are
the message
of wisdom.
Love teaches me
wisdom.
I have
so much
to learn,
O God,
so much.
Give me back
my broom,
dear God.
Remain in
my soul
while I sweep.
Thank you
for teaching me
once again.

I love you, Andrea