Tuesday, September 14, 2010

My dearest God,

Today is our 25th anniversary but we were apart from one another as I conducted a memorial service a thousand miles away. But something came to me that caused me to give even deeper thanks.

I had concluded the service and ridden to the gravesite about 30 miles away. As I waited for family and friends to make their way, I stood by the funeral car. A tiny movement caught my eye and I looked down. There was a beautiful butterfly, about medium size, yellow with milk chocolate colored spots. It fluttered all around me. Then a second one, a small white butterfly appeared. I watched them lift together and fly off. I smiled.

As I began the commital service, I mentioned the butterfly appearance. One of the deceased daughter's elbowed her sister and whispered something to her. As I ate lunch with her, she told me that she had asked her mother to give them a sign that she was okay. She had said she would come in the form of a butterfly.

As I pondered her story, I realized what it meant for me. For what seemed like eternity my caterpillar existence had been rough. When it was time to cocoon I was ready to climb inside the darkness and hide but what I discovered was that you were present in the dark with me. You whispered words of encouragement. You challenged and guided me to form a new image. You offered me the opportunity to shed parts of myself, to trust you to lead me, and to live a new life.

What I did not know was my husband in some part was doing the same thing. At the appropriate time when the wind of your spirit was blowing, we made our way out of our hiding place, stood for a bit trying out the new "clothes" and taking a new view at the environment around us. When we were ready your spirit lifted us and we began to soar together seeing the world afresh. Whirling and twirling, we are having the time of our lives!

Only you,
O God,
can change us.
Only you
can love us
to a
new essence.
Only you
can transform
by grace.
Only you
can make
the ugly
in us
become beautiful
because what
is revealed
is your work
in us.
Only you,
loving Creator and Redeemer,
only you.

Love, Andrea