Saturday, November 20. 2010

My dearest God,

I listened to a song this morning and it so gripped me that I found myself tumbling into a next level experience. In Susan Boyle's rendition of Hallelujah, she sings about the conflict between good and evil and the sweetness of good's triumph. Yet, Hallelujah is a dark song of sin and its robbing power, its ability to break us and others around us. Its web of deceit destroys and yet your divine power still has a way of entering the scene conquering even the worst in us. This mysterious power eases into us penetrating even the deepest depths of stone cold resistance.

As I tuned my ears to the words Susan sang, I felt your spirit's movement. Tears formed and fell as I reflected on the many times darkness has overtaken me. Sin that stung, breaking down my desire to love unconditionally, stealing my ability to trust enough to surrender those parts that make up my existence when I fail to trust you and live life on my own terms, and finally causing me to turn away as if you didn't even exist. But just as I remembered my own brokenness, you brought to mind the glorious blessing of sacred power that wooed me back, embracing me with love from on high that heals and holds, divinity conquering human sin while loving the child, overwhelming me with grace so deep and wide, I was utterly covered.

I heard the sound of overflowing mercy and compassion, like the river of joy the psalmist shares in Psalm 46. I wondered again how you could love so much a selfish people interested primarily in their own will and way and at the same time, I knew that I knew that I knew the One whose mission it is to love.

Wondrous and Beautiful God,
I can only sing
my own hallelujahs
to you.
God so Full of Grace,
my holy benefactor,
I bow down,
my face
to the floor
knowing there is
no greatness
in me
that makes
me worthy
of your devotion.
Yet, you are God,
Yahweh,
Forgiving Christ,
Great Redeemer,
Good Comforter,
Love Itself,
there is none
like you
in all
the cosmos.
Receive all
the love
I have
this moment
in my heart.
For you are worthy,
you are worthy,
you are worthy,
Splendid One,
you are worthy.

Love, Andrea