Monday, November 13, 2006

Dearest God,

As part of my living in gratitude I did something I don't normally do. Generally when I go away for retreat in Tipton, I drive to the retreat center, spend time on retreat, then return home immediately upon its conclusion. But living in gratitude took me another way.

Just as I was driving out of town, Nonie came to mind. Ninety five years old, crusty and cranky, an old complainer for years, she lives at the edge of town. "I need to see Nonie," I told myself. So I drove to the retirement center where she was seated at a table of four, dining on her lunch.
Walking up to her chair I was filled with memories of her.

Nonie has known me all my life. She took care of me when I was an infant. My aunt's mother, she always took an interest in me. When I was eleven years old, I wanted to fly with my younger cousin to Florida to visit our grandparents. I had to save money for one year since my parents didn't have that kind of money. So I did extra jobs. And I made jewelry, corks with beads, earrings, pins... Nonie nearly funded my whole trip.

Through the years we have teased one another. I would tell her she was the grouchiest person I ever knew. (Not necessarily, I've met some grouches in churches) But we would laugh, hug and she always kissed me on the cheek. I really love her.

We visited while she stared at her plate of cut up food. "Now, who are you?" She asked me. I would start with my father and his twin and wind down to me. With tidbits of the past, I tried to refresh her mind. "Oh yes." She said. Then she leaned her forehead to mine. I kissed her, then left, trying to encourage her to eat.

Thinking that gratitude was leading me to my family, I phoned my aunt and uncle who live in Tipton. "Come on over, Honey, we would love to see you." Aunt Jodie told me. It took about three minutes to get there. As always I was greeted with hugs and kisses. My father's twin, Uncle Merrill always greets me like Daddy did. "Hello, sweetheart!"

We talked and talked, fading into the past at times. Laughing over card cheating at Grandma's house. Those were the good old days. We updated one another on our families and too soon it was time to leave. We promised to get together in the next few months (don't we always do that?). At least my aunt is thinking of ways of joining us on an aunts and cousins trip to Maine.

This gratitude thing is good. Next it had me calling my sister whom I rarely ever see. We talked about the trip to Maine and how much fun it would be, a chance of a lifetime, probably only one chance since our aunts are now in their 80's. We hung up with a promise to make a date for dinner with our spouses and brother.

I called my cousin in Cicero to invite her for a meal but she and her husband were having a date today. So we chatted and promised to get together at another time. Suffering with an inherited heart problem, so bad that her grandmother has it, her mother and her daughter. Her brother died at age 50. I love talking with Lori.

Then I called her mother. This aunt lives in Cicero too, on the lake. My uncle answered the phone, then told me my aunt was grocery shopping. I got directions to the house (I always get lost driving there) and I arrived 15 minutes later. He and I talked about 45 minutes before Aunt Caroline got home with a car full of groceries. He took care of the grocery items while she and I talked.

I remember the days when I was a little girl. I used to love to visit my aunts and uncles' homes. We cousins would play and our extended family would enjoy being together. I felt at home in their homes. I felt love and purpose, a real connection to something bigger than myself. We called it family.

As the sun began dropping low in the sky I bid my aunt farewell with more signs of affection. Like all my family, she stood at the windowed door and waved as I drove away.

As I made my way home to my waiting husband, I was filled with the joy of gratitude that had lead me in many directions during my time away. Many experiences later I sang and gave thanks to the God who really does care about us, One who rewards us with "plenty" as we take time in thankful living.

Glorious and Ever-Living God,
you have been my joy these days.
As spiritual companions,
you have shown me the gladness
of days spent with you.
You have disclosed
the many avenues
of gratitude.
You have pointed the way
to persons
who have blessed my life
along life's course.
From habit-dressed nuns,
to strangers in libraries and streets,
from prayer warriors
to family members,
your light has brilliantly shined.
Not only did I receive my coveted letter,
you have taken me on a journey
in thanksgiving,
a wild trip of the Spirit
where your presence
was so palpable
that I was overwhelmed
most of the time.
Your love stretches across time and space,
through generations and chance encounters;
your love never ends.
It's all about capturing the hearts
of your loved ones,
getting our attention,
then opening
the world of love
to us.
These moments are unforgettable,
a lesson in obedience,
in trust and joy.
I cannot find the words,
nor the gestures
to adequately express
my appreciation
or my love.
I will never forget you.

Always, Andrea