Monday, November 5, 2007

My dearest God,

Does time stand still when your child stands before you? Does space become holy? Is sound quieted, making room for silence? What truly happens when divine and human meet?

Oh God, in the recesses of my mind I see the weaving, the intertwining, the uniting, the coming together of the holy. In such cherished moments I know and am known. I no longer stand apart from you. Our spirit is one, not as equals, but as one.

So many now are asking. How do you meditate? How do you enter heaven? How does the human heart change? How can I be transformed? How can I move into my new life? How can I really reach God? How can my broken heart be mended? The holy enters my study as people ask heaven's questions. Looking for healing, for newness of life, for breathing room, for a new place to live, to rise up higher, seeking, they are all around me.

I breathe in spirit air pleading for guidance. Such questions come from the deep well and deep must be met by deep. I want my own vessel clean, clear, ready to hear heaven's answers. I want to listen so that others may hear a word from heaven. No question to God is purely an earthly question. It is heaven asking its own question so the answer can be heard again.

I know I am an earthly being, a child of God like others, called by God to lead the way to your door. Yet, each one enters alone. I can only take them to your door where you happily open your door to each one. I am a doorkeeper. I show the way to the door. I stand at the door to help open it to others. I am not the door, just the doorkeeper.

This morning I am filled with you, the miraculous you who touches the human like a divine fire, reaching from heaven's entrance. I see and hear like no other time.

I felt the urging to call my brother, to inquire of his suffering pain following surgery. My heart, clean, clear, no longer holding on to bitterness, no more judgement, gone, simply gone. Heaven's heart has become my own. Washed away, like a new rain on dry land, the bitterness washed away. My heart inquiring, love's asking.

I could have missed it all. I could have clung to my bitterness, tried to carry it through heaven's doors. But no, you took it away, living water flowing in, healing. Cleaned me up, washing me pure. My stains purified.

Oh Lord,
Gracious One,
I bow down
before you.
Before you
I bow down.
Your grace
has washed me clean.
Soiled, stained,
bitterness claiming my spirit.
You opened
the door
to my soul,
living water
fell upon me,
anointing every bit
of me.
Your grace
washed me clean.
My bitterness gone,
your grace
washed me clean.

I shall never forget you, Andrea