Sunday, September 21, 2008

Dearest God,

Sometimes I have absolutely no energy with which to preach. I'm simply out of steam. Today was one of those days. I went to your church, took off my shoes, approached your altar and there I knelt. I asked for energy, for courage to give your message. I remembered the words of yesterday. "I surrender all for the strength of Solomon." That was yesterday's prayer and it is today's prayer. It will probably be tomorrow's prayer as well. I need the strength of Solomon.

Surrender has been a spiritual theme in my life for a long time. I know that I must surrender in order to follow, to be obedient. I know I have to release pent up fears, hurts, disappointments, grief, in order to have space to receive the gift you have to offer. By releasing I am made healthy of body, mind and soul.

How much do I have to surrender? How much must I be willing to give up? If I surrender all, what will I have left? Perhaps I'm asking the wrong questions. Perhaps I need to be willing to become an open vessel, left open at the top so whatever needs to be released will be like a mist, a cloud forming, rising up, being returned to where it came from. Eternity.

Oh Lord,
a life of faith
requires so much trust.
I have
to be
so willing
to be lost
in order
to be found.
I have to
let go
so I can find
a way
to hold on.
May I follow
your leading.

Love, Andrea