Saturday, October 4, 2008

My dearest God,

I cling to the Rock of the Ages during moments of uncertainty. You come or rather I come to you, Stone Rock Faith, and I linger there finding joy and a spirit of unity.

I sat among my brothers and sisters, nearly 5,000 of them. As we sang songs of faith, I was reminded of my call, my ordination, my challenge to live a high standard. What I do makes a difference as I follow your lead, as I unite with the body, the body of your son.

Sometimes I wander, wondering the meaning of it all, wondering how things will turn out in varying parts of my own life, of the church, of the world. I wander, yes, but I carry with me all the tools you have given me for every day living. And when I take a turn, a turn that will lead me to places I'd rather not go, I realize I must follow the path, readying myself to meet you. The way is not always sweet but neither is it sour since any path I take will ultimately take me to you. No road is a dead end in and of itself. Every road will lead me to you. What shape I will be in depends on where and why I have chosen the particular path.

I had to acknowledge that I was with other brothers and sisters of faith, those who have said yes to ministry and have found the road difficult at times. Yet at the same time these are people who have still remained faithful to the call, who have decided every day to say yes once again. They have lived in the trenches of hard times but have found you very present to lead and guide them. The trenches may be muddy and slippery and precarious but the certainty of your presence makes the going easier. When I can acknowledge that you are present in every situation and go deliberately into painful places feeling your leading, then I know I am in the right place at the right time.

I felt your spirit well up within me. I felt your inspiring hope. I knew that I was not alone. I knew your spirit power and I drank it in, remembering the well of your living water. I thought to myself that I was taking in what I needed for the days, weeks and months ahead. By the end it is my prayer that I will have lived faithful to the call by your grace.

Son of God,
Living Well Water,
I stand
as one
among many.
I count
and recount
the cost
of servanthood.
The great
high calling
teaches me
why I was called
in the first place.
Because my heart
was open
to you,
you came in
and dwelt within.
And as you tarried,
you whispered
my purpose
to serve you.
Humbled,
in disbelief
of my worthiness,
I said yes
nonetheless.
My wanderings
and wonderings
take me back
to you
again.
Oh, may my heart
always long
to serve you,
Wondrous Lover
of my Soul
and Creator.
In you
I find
my greatest joy.

Love always, Andrea